My Hockey Pool

Aw geez.  The last week of the hockey season is upon us and I had a
horrible year.  Last year, I came in second after losing out to a friend in
the last week of play.  I won the playoff pool, though.  This year,
however I just couldn't get the right mix of players each week.  If you
follow hockey, the Tampa Bay Lightning have been on an offensive tear for most
of 2004.  It's a sure-fire bet that if you have Vincent Lecavalier, Martin
St. Louis, and Brad Richards in your pool, you're guaranteed points nearly every
night.  Unless, of course, I took them that week.  Indeedy, I loaded
up on Lightning players 2 weeks ago as they played four games in 7 nights. I had
Richards, Lecavalier, St. Louis, Fredrik Modin, Pavel Kubina, Darryl Sydor, and
Dan Boyle in my lineup.  The end result?  12 points among them over
the four games.  I drop them the following week and they amass 20 points.

All it means is that my old supervisor is currently 103 points ahead of me.
Despite 5 days of games to go, I know I'm in 5th place in our group.  I'm
34 points behind the #4 person and 67 points ahead of the #6 person.

Here's hoping the playoffs fare better on my pride.

My New Co-Worker From Hell

It's actually really unfair of me to call him a Co-Worker From Hell (CFH)
this early --he doesn't start for 3 more hours-- but I'm confident he's going to
be just like the rest I've gone through in the year I've been in this
department.  Yes, it's finally official, despite the fact I've known now
for a few weeks, that Whiner is going the middle of April.  The new guy is
coming in today for training.

Now, at first indication, I like this guy.  He has a tendency to blurt out
obscure references to pop culture which fits in with my boss & I quite
well.  My boss, who last summer sang the 'Happy Anniversary' song from
Flintstones and regales us with stories of Caddyshack and Helmut Kohl and the
time he got into a Rolling Stones concert in Vegas without ever buying a ticket,
is extremely happy that Whiner's leaving. 

She's been... 'sick' a lot recently and has missed 6 of the last 7 Fridays being
'sick.'  The other one was a planned vacation day.  Please. 
Whiner had an argument with my boss on Monday.  He pretty much said
something like, "Good Lord, how bright and goodly shines the
moon!"  To which Whiner responds, "The moon? The sun! It is not
moonlight now."  The voices raise and the headache for Whiner starts
and she succumbs to have yet another sick day yesterday.  Enough of Taming
of the Shrew...

Back to the new guy.  I've only on one occasion worked semi-closely with
him and he started on this whole "juice tiger" thing which sounded so
familiar until a girl came up and said, "I love So I Married an Axe
Murderer!!"  Ah, score a point for him.

so, now 2 and a half hours to go before he arrives and I get to train him in all
things... this job.  Whiner will be in later this afternoon to teach him
her version of this job.  We'll see which version he goes with.  Mine,
the guy who's been here for a year.  Whiner's: who's leaving for the third
time in a year.

I just realized that.  It's her third time leaving here.  She left
last May, the same day I started.  She came back in October and lasted 2
days before she left for a week-plus and finally decided to come back. 
Ironically, she left in October because she felt "out of the loop" and
"had no idea what was going on" despite her first day was also
"Orientation Day" for My Kids.  She sat in on the meeting so that
she'd know what all was going on too.  And, apparently, it all went over
her head.  Now, she's going again.

And then I start thinking... Whiner's going for the third time in a year. 
The Curse just stopped coming in back in June (she lasted 6 weeks) and they
eventually gave her a retirement package just to get rid of her.  Loopy
left in September (8 weeks!) after deciding my boss wasn't doling out the work
evenly.  Whiner lasted the longest at close to 18 weeks.  Is it
me?  am I doing this to these people?

Nnnnnnnaaaaaahhhhhh.  I'm all about the love --it can't be me!

My Change of Pace

I just finished 3-straight weeks of the late shift and am now back to the
1-week on and 1-week off shifts.  I had 3 weeks to get used to going to bed
around 2am and waking up around 8:30am to start the day.  When it was sunny
and beautiful, I'd be outside before 10 --otherwise, I slum around until 1:30 or
so before getting ready for work.

Now I have to get used to waking up at 5am again in order to drag my sorry ass
into the office for 7.  And a-dragging I've been doing.

I am pooped.  It's 7:41 and I'm on my third cup of coffee already and it's
not helping.  That, and I have a bad feeling My Kids aren't showing up
until really late in the day today since "Clarkie" is supposed to come
in early, but tore ligaments in her leg and is done for the year.  she only
had a week to go as it is before moving on to a new job, but still....  She
caught up with me (impressive for someone on crutches) in the cafeteria
yesterday to let me know she was done:

"Hey, this was supposed to be my last week, but as you can see there's not
much I can do right now."

"Yeah, I bet.  So this is it then?"

"Yep.  I'm really screwed up."

"I see.  And you hurt yourself too."

The difference between the shifts is a killer too.  When I work the 7-3
shift, It starts out really, really quiet and gets progressively busier
throughout the day and by the time I leave, I just want to go home and
crash.  When I work the late shift, 2:30-10:30, it starts out super-busy
and dies down throughout the night.  Right now, with most students at home
studying and most of our teams done for the season, there's tumbleweeds blowing
down the hall and any noise seems to echo for a few minutes.  Which, when
I'm really bored, means I stand in the gymnasium and talk to myself for a while
--guaranteed intelligent conversation.

For now, I just need to enjoy the peace and quiet before F-bomb rolls in an hour
from now.  As usual, that's when all Hell breaks loose.  I'm just glad
my boss has finally started acknowledging that she sees everything as a
catastrophe.

My Coming Weekend

We're having a big dinner to end the season on April 3rd.  Right now,
there's about 300 people planning on being there.  My boss has asked me not
to be too involved with everything going on, which is super-fine by me.  If
anything goes wrong, then it's not my fault either!  The Co-Workers From
Hell are both upset about this as any problems fall right back on them.

But I've been egging them on as well.  Each of us is allowed to bring a
guest and --me being me-- I've only said I'm bringing someone with me but not
who it is.  One guy thinks it's my old flame Brenda.  F-Bomb seriously
thinks I'm bringing Sex Caffeine.  Another guy is really jealous thinking I'm bringing Alberta.  Whiner doesn't know what to think. And
I've decided to add some hints and names here and there.

But who's missing from the list?

Yep, my wife.

But with the way she's been treating me as of late, I'm almost tempted to tell
her that she's not coming with me.  I'll have to make a decision by
Wednesday.  It is quite tempting to ask Sex Caffeine what she has planned
for Saturday night.

My Argument

I'm venting.  This is my wife's quote of the weekend, that just totally
pissed me off:  "It baffles me that you don't understand why I need
a break from the kids."

Not once, ever, did I say I didn't understand how the kids could drive my wife
crazy.  They drive me crazy within minutes of me getting home from work and
sometimes I'm too tired to deal with it.  My wife asked for a chance to get
away on sunday and just go for a walk and the kids could stay with me. 
Fine. Go.

But don't say it's "baffling" that I don't understand... well, that's
just bull!  And then she can't understand why I get upset about it.

If I say, "the kids are giving me a headache." What's wrong with
saying, "That's why I need breaks too."

As if that wasn't bad enough, after she dishes out dinner for everyone else, I
get mine and pour myself my daily glass of red wine.  And suddenly I'm
being inconsiderate because I didn't pour a glass of wine for her too.

Well, she already had a drink and didn't offer to get a drink for me.  I
mean, we ordered pizza, so it wasn't like she was slaving over the stove or
anything!

+++Actually, let me digress for a moment and vent about the pizza.  We
ordered from Domino's Pizza --most likely for the last time.  On Oscar
night, we decided (well, I decided because I wanted to watch the Oscars and just
sit back and relax with the family) to have pizza for dinner.  now, we have
a great pizza place a few blocks away and they make great restaurant-like
pizza.  It's actually the second owners in the time we've lived here, but
both owners and their families have been extremely friendly and it's just a
treat to order from them.  However, on Oscar night they were closed. 
We had a $5 off coupon for Domino's and although I'm not a big fan of their
pizzas, we decided it was an obvious replacement since we had the coupon. 
The pizza arrived and hadn't been sliced.  I called to comment on it and
the guy apologized and asked if we wanted a gift certificate for a free large
pizza mailed to us or if we'd just like a replacement pizza delivered that
night.  I opted for the gift certificate thinking if we were ever in a bind
with the other pizza place again we could just use the freebie card.  As it
turned out, the freebie had an expiry date of the end of March, so we decided to
use it.  I have to acknowledge that I must be doing something right with My
Diet and Exercise program as we haven't had pizza ordered in since Oscar night
and here it is almost a month later!  I called Domino's and told them what
we had for a gift certificate and that we also wanted to try their new
"cheesy dots" (feeling that at least we'd be paying some money and
therefore the driver would assume he's getting a tip out of it at least). 
The food arrived and as I opened the box, my wife noticed something: they'd
given us a medium instead of the large we'd ordered.  Aw, crap.  So I
phoned down and the girl who answered apologized.  She, again, asked if we
wanted a new pizza delivered or a gift certificate mailed.  Well, since I'm
getting sick of Domino's after 2 times in 4 weeks, I asked for another pizza to
be delivered.  About 5 minutes later, the manager calls us and asks if we
handed over our gift certificate.  I say "Yes" because we did
(who holds onto the gift certificate if it's used???) and he then says,
"You should've kept it."  Well, which pizza place is going to let
you hold onto a free gift certificate?  Anyway, he then says, "We gave
you a medium, but if we make a small that'll make it into a large." 
"Fine," I reply.  At this point I don't care and it's not like
we're going to be phoning Domino's again anytime soon.

Okay, back to arguing with my wife.  I've acknowledged in the past that I
don't always spend enough time with the kids, but this weekend had definitely
been an exception to that rule.  I entertained my son for hours on Saturday
before we went out for the night to a steak barbecue in North Vancouver and even
there held him and showed him off to most of the people there.  I also
played horseshoes with my daughter for over an hour and helped her with her
dinner.  On Sunday afternoon, my daughter and I went outside for a few
hours and looked for different kinds of bugs.  I caught a couple of
different kinds of bees and explained to her what the difference was between
them.  We looked at worms, snails, bees, ladybugs and saw our first 2
robins of the year.  We also watched a squirrel in a nearby tree. 
After that, my wife wanted to go out for a walk and my son was sleeping in the
living room.  We decided to go inside just in case he woke up (he has the
worst abandonment issues I've ever seen in a 8 month old child) and my daughter
asked if she could watch Little Mermaid.  Great!  I could work on a
few things around the house and she'd be close to my son while he napped. 
If he woke, she could come get me.  As it turned out, my mother-in-law
arrived about 15 minutes later and she was more than happy to watch the kids
while I fixed our toilet (it's been running like crazy recently so I'd bought a
new pump).  After my wife got home, a friend called and invited her and the
kids to come play in their backyard.  they have a girl the same age as our
daughter and they're pretty good friends.  so, off they went and I got to
sit back and relax and get some work done on the computer --for all of 5 minutes
before the power went out.  So, instead I lowered my son's crib and put
away my clothes and cleaned up some of the stuff I had stacked in a "to
do" pile in the basement.  But the kids came home and started driving
me crazy pretty much right away.  And somehow, despite spending most of the
weekend at home and with my family, I came out to be a villain.

I'm looking forward to next weekend when I won't be at home for most of it
again.

My Naughty Thursday

Trust Alberta to give me something to write about.  Let's get this
straight first.  If you've never heard the term "smokin' hot" and
wanted to know what it means, well Alberta is a prime example.  She's
5'6", slightly muscular, curvy in the right places, blonde, blue-eyed and
smart as Hell.  I think nearly every athlete here has a crush on her and I
get to boss her around (and keep the guys away).  she's my policewoman and
watches what I eat.  Last night, however, was a different story.

On 2 levels.

Okay first off, I'm a guy and guys have thoughts about virtually every woman
they see.  Hell, sometimes it's just the hair that makes guys stop and wait
to check out everything else before deciding it's time to move on or (in my
case) yank at the shirt collar and gulp a bit.  So, yeah, every once in a
while I look at this girl sitting beside me (obviously not right now or I'd get
a slap to the face if not worse) and ponder...

Secondly, she's supposed to be policing what I eat and she's been fairly good at
it until Thursday night.  That's when she look me in the eye and said:

"Let's be a little naughty tonight."

Remember, I'm a guy and guys have thoughts about virtually every woman they
see.  And let's just say I'm glad I was sitting down at the time. 
Yeah, food wasn't the first thing to pop into my head. 

Nor was it second. 

In fact, I have a feeling she talked for a good five minutes before I realized
she was talking about food --and talking about food that gave me cravings... for
food though.  Hehe.  She started going on about chocolate cake and
chocolate chip cookies.  Then she switched to perogies and farmer's sausage
and from that she delved into buffet tables at Chinese restaurants.  She
wanted to go with me to a Chinese restaurant as soon as we were done work. 
Only she kept forgetting that I'm done a few hours after she is.

Why in God's name didn't I just go????

My Busy Week That's Hard to Put Into Words

I seem to write in spurts.  I'll have a week where there's 2,3,4 things
a day I write about and then a week goes by with nothing being entered.  It
was noted that I seem to have hit another week like that.

And it's not like there isn't anything going on worth writing about.  Hell,
even if it's just the same-old, same-old I could still put down what the weather
was like (mainly to bug Dreama, of
course) or why I have quiet days.  And this was anything but a quiet week,
too.

So where to start?  And maybe that's the problem.  There's been a lot
happening and I don't know where to start.

I had this problem 6 years ago with a piece of pizza of all things.  The
chef's training program was working in the cafeteria and they were making these
gourmet pizzas.  They were these hugely thick square "slices" of
pizza the size of most laptop computers --and then they were loaded with
toppings.  I sat down with a "slice" and just stared at it, not
sure where to start picking at it to eat.

To start... I bought a new car.  I said it would be the ultimate high for
My Year if I could actually get away with it and somehow I did it.  It's a
used car, but a 2003 model, so the mileage is still quite low.  That, and
I'm giggling like a little kid everytime I get into it --or get out of it and
hit the lock button on my keychain and the horn honks to let me know it's
locked.

*Giggle!*

And today I realized that Sex Caffeine has ridden in my car and my wife
hasn't.  Oh boy...

A few weeks back I freaked out F-Bomb (one of the Co-Workers from Hell) about
"one of us is going."  The HR director was in our boss' office
with the door closed (a very rare occurrence --for him) and I simply told her
whenever the HR lady's around it means one of us is on the way out.  She
freaked.  And, as it turns out, that's exactly why she was here as Whiner
is going --we just don't know when.  Actually, I guess I should say I
don't know when as it's not official yet, but the department getting Whiner
knows all about it and told me the whole friggin' story.  Out of all the
Co-Workers From Hell,  Whiner was my favourite.  But I still didn't
want to work with her.

I've also put my name in for a new job, working in another department. 
It's close to double the pay (which means I can afford my car) and the schedule
is, well, normal.  That, and it falls more in line with the type of work I
did around here off and on over the past 3 or 4 years. I told my boss all this
and although he understands, I think (or at least I hope) he sees that I'm
getting away from the loony bin ASAP.  If it all works out, I could be in
the new job by the end of April.  It kills the whole China trip, though.

I mentioned Sex Caffeine being in my car earlier... We've been getting together
over drinks the past few weeks and just discussing things.  Not as deep and
intimate as we were before, but at least we're talking again.  After
working with the various Co-Workers From Hell over the past year ("Four
Dullards of the Apocalypse" comes to mind...), it's just nice to have an
intelligent conversation again.  I've missed that.

I was warned the other day that my boss was in a rather foul mood and to be
careful what I said and did around him.  I have no idea what those two were
talking about.  The only time he commented on something I was doing wrong
was for not having the hockey game on the TV.  He's finally noticing
that F-Bomb finds everything to be a catastrophe.  All I said in reply was,
"Oh, welcome to my September.  Now you know how long I've found that
annoying."

My Over-Analysis

Putting the anal back in analysis... since 2003.

'Sex Caffeine' took My Quiz and by now it's fairly obvious that I'm going to
over-analyze everything she answered.  and, in order to prove what a total
shithead I am, I even out analyze my analysis.  And now I've used 'anal'
three times in one paragraph.

Four times, sorry.

Ah, but not to worry --these are supposed to be my mad musings and if you didn't
think I was made before, then this one will finally clinch it for me.  SC
printed out the quiz and highlighted the answers and handed them to me. 
Wasn't that nice of her?  she'd filled them out online, but was
uncomfortable with registering her name and I guess I can't blame her. 
Although I know there are certain readers of this blog that are just now
realizing they may have been able to put a real name to the person. 
There's one reader in particular I know would've solved the issue and most
likely could've put a face to the name as well.  Resourceful little brat.

SC would've been a high scorer too.  How well does she know me?  She
knows I'm left handed and that my 17-cent goldfish is 5 years old.  She
knows I got a speeding ticket and she knows where I was born and that I'm the
youngest child.  she kows I'd rather be the driver than the passenger, that
I sing in the car, and she knows no one calls me 'Chief.'  She knows what
university gave me a scholarship and what it was for.  She knows who are
"My Kids" and who are "my children."  She knows how
often I get into big trouble, that I worked at a modelling agency and that I
used to carry a gun.  She knows what I sell on eBay and that my next big
purchase is going to make me a single man again.

But she didn't know I prefer blondes over brunettes or redheads. 

Or that I claim to have been intimate with only 3 of my 4 professed "true
loves."

So my first thought was that SC should've known I like blondes.  SHE'S
blonde.  My second thought then was that she should know there's one person
I've truly loved that I haven't been intimate with --it's her.  Then I
started thinking 'why didn't she guess correctly about buying a car? Why did
she say condo? She guessed right about the divorce, though!'

Then, the second round of analysis began....  Maybe she's denying that
we fell for each other.  Maybe that's what she's saying by answering I
prefer brunettes instead of blondes.  My wife is brunette, right?  And
that explains the true love answers too.

Round #3: She died her hair blonde.  I've seen her drivers' licence...
she's a brunette!  Is that what she's saying.  She's a natural
brunette and therefore I do prefer brunettes like her.  Yeah, and
she knows that a divorce could happen and that's why I'd be buying a
condo!  But is she hoping for a divorce because then it's okay for
us to be together?

I knew this would happen.... anyone still not convinced I'm insane?

My Sign From God

Yes, indeedy, today was the day I was finally getting to the
dealership to check out my potential new car!  I mentioned in an earlier blog
that I had a chance to get this model of car in the colour and model I really
wanted, but missed out by mere hours.  It turned out that the same
dealership had another model come in 2 weeks later and by the time I phoned it
was gone as well.  As if that torture wasn't enough, the morning paper
listed a half-dozen available at a Chevy dealership in Surrey about an hour's
drive away, but potentially worth it since the price was $2000 less than the
local place.  And, being a Chevy dealer, I could look into this 0% A.P.R.
as well....  By the time I looked again, though, the ad was no longer
running.

This week, while talking to my parents about how much longer I think my car's
going to last, I came upon yet another ad for a dealership with a literal FLEET
of these cars in stock.  And all under $13,000!  I called the dealership
and spoke to a salesman and made arrangements to go out on Wednesday to check
and see if I could get enough for my car in trade and then check on a loan at
the bank (sadly, it's considered a pre-owned car so doesn't count for the
0%).  If I can get it below $10,000 and a 60-month loan from the bank then
I'm set.  I can do it.  Money will be tight, but I'll have a car that
doesn't cost me $2500 a year in repairs.  Yeah, you read that right. 
And still my wife won't let me get a new car!!  $200 a month payments in a
year is $2400 --or I could just keep getting my old car fixed for an extra $100
on top of that.  Makes absolutely NO sense to me.  

So, it was important to keep this a secret from my wife (which I'm sure will
also help her opt for a divorce) and I knew my parents would be able to help
keep that secret.  I think they secretly hope my wife and I split so they
get a chance to see me more often.  They liked it when I visited before
Christmas, right?  Wednesday came and went and I couldn't get away in the
morning.  I talked to the sales guy that night (smart Hoser gave the sales
guy his cell phone number) and made arrangements for Friday morning.  So,
it was set.  Friday morning 10:45.  As Friday morning broke, I got up
and got ready to go.  I left at 9:50, giving myself just under an hour to
drive the 40 kilometres to get to the dealership. Most of it is highway driving
at 80km/h, so I should be okay.

Except for Friday traffic...

It took over an hour to get from my house to within 6 blocks of the
dealership.  Traffic was slow and heavy and within 6 blocks, it stopped
completely.  I called the sales guy to let him know I was late, but close
by and would be there shortly.  One freaking hour later I'd made it
another 6 blocks.  Not only was I really late to see him, but now I had
half an hour before I started work and work is 60 kilometres the other way. 
I'd warned My Kids earlier that I may be late, but wasn't counting on
this.  One of the kids lives in Coquitlam and asked if I was on the
highway.  I said I was and she said there's construction and it's single
lane.  Single lane highway traffic on a Friday at lunch.  I'm
screwed.  I'm sure we all know how 2 wrongs don't make a right?  Well,
3 rights make a left and the next intersection I did just that and headed for
the freeway to get to work.  

Naturally, getting to the freeway just before the bridge means you take like
2  figure-8s to merge and then it was a long haul in heavy traffic across
the bridge.

And then I realized that I really had to pee.

I called my sister's house, knowing it was on the way and gave me a chance to
stop and go somewhere relatively safe and stupid me never thought of yet more
construction on the off ramp.  My "see you in 10 minutes" turned
into 20 minutes and then I really had to go.  In fact, I yelled at the lady
in front of me to get going (before I went) after she let in yet another car off
a side street.  There's a time to be courteous and when my bladder's full
it's not the time!!  I ended up having a cup of coffee while at my sister's
(I was already late for work, right?) and then headed to the closest Tim
Horton's to bribe My Kids to keep quiet about the time I started.

Yep, 75 minutes late for work and no one has to know.  Except my wife, who
managed to lock her keys in the car and called the office.  The kids told
her I was stuck in traffic in Coquitlam.

Dammit.  She knows!!

This weekend is going to be Hell unless I make my escape to a basketball
game in Kamloops (slightly further away than my last trip to Kelowna --but, by
God, I'm going if there's any shit from her tonight!!). This must be a sign from God that I'm not going to get this car.

My Case for Divorce

One the questions I asked in My Quiz was about an upcoming major purchase
planned.  I am looking at getting a new car, but there's obvious flak at
home about this.

See, my car's going to pack it in soon (and about to hit 200,000 km) and I had
the opportunity to drive a new car over the Summer when mine was stolen (and
sadly recovered later on).  I fell in love with the loaner car and,
naturally, it was completely and totally out of my price range.  It'd be
tough to convince me to buy a car for $28,000, I am Scottish after
all.  However, you tell me:  If a slightly used (15,000 km)
fully-loaded $28,000 car is suddenly available for $13,000, wouldn't you want to
take a chance and check it out?  Even more of an incentive, there's 6
models to choose from.

*ahem*

DDDDRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLL.

So, tomorrow I'm going to look at the cars and see if there's any chance
I can afford one.  I'll get my current car appraised and see if this is
gonna kill me.  If I can keep the payments to under $200 a month, I can do
it.  I have the power.

No matter what, though, this is not going to make my wife happy.  When we
went car shopping for her this Fall (her 15-year old car's transmission went
blooey), I had a chance to get her a fairly new (1999) car for monthly payments
of about $145.  She wouldn't go for it.  Too much money.  We
can't afford more monthly payments....

My Year is supposed to be about taking risks, especially if they're of the
selfish type.  This car, a 2003 model, would make My Year.  And if my
car goes kerplunk soon, then we're stuck with one vehicle again and that's not
good for anyone.

So, yep, I asked what my next big purchase was going to be and gave the multiple
choices answers: A condo, Airline tickets, A new car, or Redecorating the
house.  Most people answered that I'd be looking at getting a new car.

And most people then answered in the next question ('And what's going to happen
to me if I make the big purchase?') that I'd be getting a divorce.  Well,
that's interesting.  And tomorrow --I'm still looking at that car.

My Supervisory Skills

While I was out of the office for a bit tonight, Sunnie decided to play a
joke on me.  She had one of her friends write a note, claiming to be
someone from the president's office looking for info.  As I was gone nearly
45 minutes, that was noted as well as some disappointment in me not being there.

Now's not a good time of year for jokes like that.  There's always 'moves'
at the end of the fiscal year and I'm trying everything I can not
to go through that again this year.  Fortunately, there's no one by the
name given who works in the president's office and it took a few minutes to get
Sunnie to fess up.

And now she has a long list of extra work to get done before she goes home
tonight.

And I'm sitting back and giving her the same smile she gave me a few hours ago.

She's working so hard now.

My Quiz

I've created a quiz on www.tickle.com.
No, I'm not sharing a link directly to my quiz here 'cuz I'm still trying to
keep this blog semi-private from some people.

I've debated letting Sex Caffeine know about the quiz, but it means a number of
things:

1 - I'd have to email her and that ends My Game of Cat and Mouse.

2 - Some questions I'm concerned she may perceive the wrong thing into them.

3 - Speaking of which, I'm probably going to over-analyze some of her answers.

What good come from that?  I've spent nearly the past year over-analyzing
everything I've said to her and every time we've talked.  I've analyzed
little (most likely) meaningless things to death just because I'm worried about
repercussions.  But you know what?  I've also had to acknowledge as of
late just what I'm doing wrong.  I've fallen in love with another woman and
there's nothing, absolutely nothing, I can do about it.

Except, of course, send her an email and over-analyze every answer she gives.

If she even takes the quiz.

My Life in Music...

Maybe, maybe, quite possibly.... do I download music.  I might have, on
occasion --in extreme circumstances-- been required to download a song.

Or two.

Or 500 or so.

No matter the case, I've noticed that throughout my life, there are certain
songs that get implanted in my head and stick around for quite some time. 
The occasional song makes it through the years, but most of the time they drift
away and if I hear them every once in a while it stirs up memories for me. 
Kind of like the AC-DC song that reminded me of Brenda that day we met a few
weeks ago.  There are songs that stick in my head for various reasons, but
I honestly acknowledge love and pain (coincidence?) are the two clinchers for
making songs stick around.

When I met my wife, Wet Wet Wet's 'Love is All Around,' was a big one. 
When we first parted, on her part never to see me again --but I was infatuated
and needed to see her again, I had 'Always Something There to Remind Me' by Eyes
Naked (I think) going through my head.

Christmas 2002, it was this:

The Shining 

by Badly Drawn Boy 



Faith pours from your walls, drowning your calls

I've tried to hear you're not near

Remembering when I saw your face

Shining my way, pure timing

Now I've fallen in deep, slow silent sleep

It's killing me, I'm dying



to put a little bit of sunshine in your life



Soleil all over you

Warm sun pours over me

Soleil all over you

Warm sun



Now this slick fallen rift came like a gift

Your body moves ever nearer

and you will dry this tear now that we're here 

And grieve for me not history

But now I'm dry of thoughts wait for the rain

Then it's replaced, sun's setting



and suddenly you're in love with everything



Soleil all over you

Warm sun pours over me

Soleil all over you

Warm sun

That was the time I had to acknowledge that there was feelings there for Sex
Caffeine.  It wasn't for a few months that I realized how far those
feelings had gone and at that point:

Tell Her This 

by Del Amitri 



Tell her not to go 

I ain't holding on no more 

Tell her something in my mind freezes up from time to time 



Tell her not to cry 

I just got scared that's all 

Tell her I'll be by her side, all she has to do is call 



Tell her the chips are down 

I drank too much and shouted it aloud 

Tell her something in my heart 

Needs her more than even clowns need the laughter of the crowd 



Tell her what was wrong 

I sometimes think to much 

But say nothing at all 

And tell her from this high terrain, I am ready now to fall 



Tell her not to go 

I ain't holding on no more 

Tell her nothing if not this; all I want to do is kiss her 



Tell her something in my mind 

Freezes up from time to time.

When we hard our big confrontation, there was two ways to go and for the longest
time it was this:

Good Life 

by Francis Dunnery 



Softly now, you owe it to the world

And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl

But there are some things in life that are not meant to be

I'm not meant for you, and you're not meant for me

Here's to our problems and here's to our fights

Here's to our achings and here's to your having...

A good life, from me



Softly now, you owe it to yourself

And don't think that you will be left on the shelf

Cuz, there's someone for you and there's someone for me

Like me, you'll meet them eventually

Here's to your lover and here's to my wife

Here's to your children and here's to your having...

A good life, from me



Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby



Loudly now, you've lost all your pain

You're married with children and happy again

Now I'm regretting the moves that I made

Fatal mistakes are so easily made

Enough of my problems they only cause fights

Forget that I rang you and promise that you'll have

Such a beautifully happy and painlessly romantic...

Good life, from me

Good life

In actuality, it was more like this one:

Please Forgive Me 

by David Gray 



Please forgive me

If I act a little strange

For I know not what I do.

Feels like lightning running through my veins

Everytime I look at you

Everytime I look at you



Help me out here

All my words are falling short

And there's so much I want to say

Want to tell you just how good it feels

When you look at me that way

When you look at me that way



Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow

Moving out across the bay

Like a stone I fall into your eyes

Deep into that mystery

Deep into some mystery



I got half a mind to scream out loud

I got half a mind to die

So I won't ever have to lose you girl

Won't ever have to say goodbye

I won't ever have to lie

Won't ever have to say goodbye



Whoa whoa whoa I

Whoa whoa whoa I

Whoa whoa whoa I



Please forgive me

If I act a little strange

For I know not what I do

Feels like lightning running through my veins

Everytime I look at you

Everytime I look at you

Everytime I look at you

Everytime I look at you

I'm going about this all wrong, but at least I'm keeping busy singing on my
way to and from work...

My Ever-Changin' Never-Changin' Work Thing

Got the nod today from another department here at work:  Whiner is on
her way out.  Not totally good and not totally bad.  Her replacement
is just as bad if not worse and that comes directly from this other department.

Great.  Time for 'Killer' to come to work again.

Making things even more interesting around work today is that my wife is working
on campus the rest of the week.  As if dropping out of "work me"
wasn't already difficult when my parents were hanging around, now I have to
worry about my wife catching on to things as well.

Whoa boy.

I also heard today that someone was actually fired and after all the crap I've
done/been through for me to still be here... well, let's just say it's amazing
that anyone is fired around this place.  But it happened late last week and
I'm a little shocked to hear who it was.  She always seemed fine. 
Well, actually, she seemed quite stressed the first time I met her and when I
couldn't help her, I just welcomed her to work.  Kind of a "deal with
it, you can't get everything done when you want to!!"  Whatever the
case, she's gone now and there's an opportunity for me to move on as well.

What are my chances of moving on?  Very little.  I've been here long
enough to know what happens and I don't see it happening.  I'll still try,
though.  It's better, much much better, than where I am right now. 
I'd be pretty much working on my own, after all.

My Selfish Parents

So, had a nice fight with my wife over the phone today.  Even worse, I'm
at work when it happens and although I'm the only one in the office (but not
within earshot), I told her it was too busy to talk and I had to go.

It all started this morning when I left to get a haircut.  Well, okay,
STYLED.  Every 6 weeks or so, I get it cut fairly short and little blonder
in the highlights.  But when I got home, my wife was out shopping with the
kids and my parents were just about to leave and go shopping.

My parents are visiting for a week and arrived Friday night.  I'm working
long hours right now (and can't change them since Whiner is away for a week) and
haven't seen much of them.  They bought dinner on Friday night
(Chinese).  They bought dinner on Saturday night (pizza) and last night we
were on our own and had macaroni & cheese.  Apparently, my wife had
cooked a ham for Saturday, but with me out curling (and having pizza and beer
there), my parents offered to take her and the kids out for dinner and I met
them there.  Also on Saturday, they bought us a new dishwasher because my wife
had been complaining about the crappy quality of the one we own (and they felt
bad since they just shelled out some cash for my sister and her husband to get a
new washer/dryer set for their place).  My dad's also down so he can
continue working on the downstairs bathroom (which he tore apart about 19 months
ago and is ssssssllllloooowwwwwllllyyyyy rebuilding it).

Today, however, when my parents went to leave, they asked me if they should pick
something for dinner, like KFC.  I said 'sure,' thinking it would be yet
another meal that my wife could avoid cooking since she hates it when my parents
visit.  I left her a note before I left for work letting her know ahead of
time that they were bringing dinner with them.  I passed by her on the way
to work as she was heading home.  She called just before I got in the
office.

And boy was she upset.

My parents are being selfish by bringing home dinner when she cooked a perfectly
good ham on Saturday night.  No one's touched it and she's mad about
it.  She's barely gotten any sleep (? she gets more than I do) because the
kids have been waking her up between 6 and 7 instead of after 7:30 and no one
talks to her.

And that's where I shouldn't have said anything.

"But you weren't home when I left, how was I supposed to talk to you?"

I called my parents' cell and let them know that there was a ham dinner waiting
for them and not to bother bringing anything home.  I didn't tell them that
my wife is mad because they didn't ask her if it was okay first.  I didn't
tell them that she thinks they're being selfish by bringing home food they want
instead of eating what she cooks.  I also didn't mention to my wife that
they're showing how selfish they can be by buying us a new dishwasher and
offering to baby-sit 2 of the 4 days this week my wife is going in to work.

But I hung up on my wife and left a message later on saying I'd be home after
11:30 or so because I'm working out.  I also have a lot to think about as
I'm getting more and more impatient with the way she's acting up.

My Refresh

The other night I was reflecting on a number of things that have happened in
my life in the past year or so (I'm coming up on the anniversary of the whole
'sex caffeine' freakout thing).  I was re-reading my blog and noticed that
some of my entries were missing.

Weird.

Anyway, I've re-published the entire blog, so if you think you may have missed
something along the way you can read all the entries now.

Score.

My End

So glad I went curling yesterday.  If there was any talent passed on
from my parents, it looks like it was curling related.  We played 4 games
of 4 ends each and won all 4 games.  My team consisted of Sweety and her
husband and a woman married to a faculty member.  They used to curl in the
1970s and Sweety curled when she lived in Ontario when she was a teenager, also
about 30 years ago.  Sweety's husband and myself have never curled before. 
We went up against 2 'rinks' (A.K.A. teams) that had regular curlers on them and
beat one team 5-0 and the other 3-2.

And plenty of beer and pizza for all...

It's really sad, though, that out of 900+ people working here, we had 24 show up
yesterday.

My wife was --naturally-- mad at me for going and staying for dinner.  My
parents are down right now and she couldn't handle a dinner without me there to
act as a buffer.  Even funnier though, when she called me on my cell I had
the ringer off and set to 'vibrate.'  It just so happened that someone else
in the bar had the same ringer as mine and got a call at the exact same time. 
I got the call to find out they were going out for dinner, so I met them at the
restaurant.  She therefore couldn't be mad at me for not being there for
dinner, leaving her with my parents, or coming home late as I beat them all to
the restaurant.  All pure fluke to get away with it, but I'll take whatever
comes my way.

My Curiousity Revisited

Unplugged the phones when I got home last night and  left my cell in the
car.  When I got to work, I "discovered" the 4 messages on my
cell and that there were another half-dozen on my home phone.

F-Bomb even had a copy of the event poster in her office (she thought it looked
neat) and hadn't clued into when and where the event was taking place.

They are boneheads.

Speaking of boneheads, my boss told me tonight that I may soon be resuming my
nickname "Killer."  In my first 6 months at this job, I went
through 3 co-workers (all of them from Hell too) and Whiner may be gone sooner
than I realize.  That'll be 4 in a year and we'll see how long #5 lasts.

F-Bomb could be gone by June as well actually.

Now THAT is how you end a work week.

My Latest Non-Weekend

I'm trying to remember the last time I actually spent a weekend at home and
away from work people.  I'm thinking it's when I went to the 90h birthday
party, but I also think I headed into the office later that night.  Maybe
January?  Whatever the case, I'm doing something tomorrow that involves
work people.

We're having a curling "funspiel" tomorrow afternoon from 2-6. 
At least it isn't a full-day event.

I've never curled in my life, but looking forward to trying.  My parents
probably still have a basement full of trophies for curling and in my life I've
never seen them curl.

My wife wants me to take my parents, but then I can't like the "work
me" and it was a difficult role to try and get out of last weekend at the
basketball games.  My parents drove the 90 minutes from their place to
watch the games with me.  I think there was a little concern with the way I
was acting with all these under 20ish girls.  I can only try and explain to
them how I'm all about the love... and they wouldn't buy it anyway.
Next weekend
is a non-weekend as well as I'm travelling to Kamloops to take in the men's
national basketball championships and *enh-heh-heh* meet up with Brenda to
reminisce.  I had to talk to one of the basketball players tonight. 
After he saw me out for my run (which I usually do over lunchtime, but working 3
straight weeks of nights meant I was running at 4:30) he started saying I was
getting in shape for my Ex.  But with F-Bomb still thinking (and freaking 'cuz
she's so good at it) that I'm being indecisive about my date for the awards
banquet in April (she thinks I'm debating between my ex and Sex Caffeine --no
mention of my wife at all.  Hello?) and him joking about hooking up with my
ex, I think it's best to let him know ahead of time who I'm taking to the
banquet so he doesn't come up and ask me "Is this the ex girlfriend??"

I also told him if he does, he has to help me move out.

My Curiousity

Oh these evil thoughts...  Noticed a poster on the wall the other day
advertising an event in our building tomorrow from 11:30 - 1.  I can't be
bothered to ask anyone about it, epsecially since I start at 12:30 so it'll
almost be over by the time I get there.  I expect the panicked phone calls
to start about 9 in the morning, though as I'm sure no one has a
clue it's happening.

Giggle!

My Question

It's 12:55 in the morning and I'm typing on the computer and enjoying a glass
of cider.  I'm downloading music like crazy and not trying to think of the
work that needs to be done around the house before my parents come to visit
later this week. 

I just don't feel like doing too much of anything.

After my vivid dream last night, all I wanted to do this morning was get back to
that dream. 

Now I'm downloading music and I can't help but notice they're songs I haven't
listened to in just under a year.

Wonder what that means, hmmm?

I've just spent the past hour re-reading my Blogs and I noticed (aside from poor
grammar and the occasional spelling errors) that not a week goes by where I
don't comment on Sex Caffeine.  In fact, nearly every entry for March has a
comment or more about SC.

The good news is I've kept myself from emailing her since December 18th of last
year.  Still going good with that, although I do have an email to send to
her, I've just been lazy in getting it done (it can wait --it's for an event in
2006).  March 4 was the first time I've had coffee with her since December
23rd.  That day also marked the first conversation we've had since early
February.  And before that, it was December --so there.  To think it
used to be daily.  I guess I can be a little more comfortable with monthly
for now.

For now.

I did see her on Tuesday when I had some copying to do.  Again, I tried to
avoid eye contact, but she was walking towards me and waved just before Big Mama
grabbed her attention.  Hard to picture seeing Big Mama in a saviour type
role...

The big risk now is that I've been thinking of telling SC about the job opening
in our department.  It'd be a good change for her and if there is a risk of
the old department shutting down, she'll have a leg to stand on in the union. At
least I know I can work with her and we have the ability to get along. 
Yep, there's a risk, but it's one I'm willing to face!  I'll debate it for
a few more weeks --another way to avoid emailing her about anything...

So, there' the big question.  Do I tell her about it or no?

Awright time for sleep --I hope.

My Illness

Swear to God I'm getting something every few weeks right now and it's very
annoying.  My throat really started hurting on Monday afternoon and I
originally thought I'd discovered a new allergy.  Not so, it's just another
frickin' cold.

There's only 2 other people really suffering with this around the office and
they're both My Kids, so I'm gonna hear about it from the rest...

If only I've lived up to half (hell, a quarter!!) of the things people presume
I've done around here, I'd probably be much happier.... tired, but happier.

I don't think satisfied would be a good term, though.

Saw My Personal Trainer tonight.  I realized fairly early on that I haven't
seen her in the "Trainer" role for a few weeks now.  Maybe more than a
month.  I'm just under my goal weight for this point in my Diet and
Exercise Program and the weight has been going fairly good.  I missed a day
last week and haven't done squat this week because I'm not feeling well. 
Should honestly screw my cold and just workout and re-energize.  Focus my
anger (which is prevalent right now) into a good run or two.

I'm sick and there's way too much on my mind at the moment.

My Nightmare

So, the boneheaded Co-Workers From Hell actually got a victory over me. 
After being inundated with questions all night, I blew it.  I couldn't
answer any of the questions with anything but "I don't know" which I
always hate giving as an answer.  there are too many miscommunications in
the office and half the time the answer's wrong, but at least we've given an
answer.  No, not the best attitude, I know...  But when the question
is "What time is the meeting?" I should be able to quickly say "4
o'clock."  But I'm not able to do that if no one's bothered to tell
me: a - there is a meeting and b - there is a meeting at 4 o'clock.

Boneheads.

But this was different.  Some items had arrived for 2 people here and after
they'd been notified, someone decided to hide the stuff in the boss'
office.  By the time I got here, the boss was gone for the day and here
were the people asking for their stuff.  I didn't have it, but Whiner
called at the exact right time and I found out they were in the boss'
office.  So, I went in and got them and emailed my boss to let him know
where they'd disappeared to.  And boy is he pissed.

Why on Earth would anyone tell someone there's stuff here for them and then hide
them away?  Where does that make sense?

Anyway, I'm the one getting in crap with the Boss, so I'm sure the 2 nitwits are
going giggle away the day tomorrow.  At least I 'fessed up to the boss
right away and took it on the chin.  I'd like to see either one of them do
that sometime...

My Reality

I got an email this morning form Whiner, one of the Co-Workers From Hell,
about some items that came to the office in the morning mail.  It's part of
a project the 2 of us are working on at the moment.  She said she was bored
and was asking if she could start without me.  Assuming barely anything
would get done before I started in 4 hours, I simply replied:

"Go Nuts."

Also an inside joke after her "meltdown" about 18 months ago... hehe. 
Feeling evil!

Sure enough, when I got to the office, she hadn't started as she forgotten one
of the first steps and after consulting with F-Bomb (when I need to consult, I
turn to the right and say, "Hello wall, what do you think?") she
decided not to do anything at all until I got in.

Ugh.

My Dream

I should get these analyzed sometimes, but this one was pretty blatantly
obvious.  In fact, it was so realistic that I swear I could taste it later
on.

These are the dreams I should be having about my wife, but they never are...

Nope, this one was about Sex Caffeine.  And I have absolutely no idea why I
should know what she tastes like --it never got that far.  But, boy, did
this dream go that far!

It started in my parent's old home and I was working in the basement.  I
was cleaning up and getting it ready (I'm assuming) for their move up
north.  SC was there and motioned me to help her with something (lift or
move or?) and she grabbed my arm and leaned in for a kiss.  It was a good
kiss and there was a great "click!" afterward.  Kinda felt like
having more, so we did.  After a while it got to be more than just kissing,
but for some reason we stopped and got back to working.  However, the
kissing began again and we continued for a while before I stopped and said,
"I could get into trouble for this."  Suddenly, my mother was in
the doorway saying "Yes.  Yes you will be in trouble."

And then I woke up.

And, damn, was I in a good mood when I got to work today...

Dreams never last, do they?

My Gaydar

So, I walk into one of the other department offices here and the
clerk behind the desk starts asking all sorts of questions about my current job
and my last job and whether or not I'm happy where I am.  Without going
into too many details about the Co-Workers From Hell, I told her I do enjoy my
current job and since my last job had the spawn of Satan in the role of 'boss'
that I am, indeed, happy to be where I am now.

I further explained that although I liked a majority of the people in my old
department, I needed a change [to get away from 'Sex Caffeine' for one] and that
change came at the right time.  I also explained that my office mate for
the majority of my time in the old department was guy I call "Fluffy,"
but he'd gotten a contract somewhere else and abandoned ship.  My new
"roomie" was a woman who, despite having a PhD. to exemplify her
intelligence, couldn't log into a computer, use her phone... work quietly
without whining...

To leave her and my old boss was well worth it and I was very happy.  The
clerk looked at me and asked, "Did you know 'Fluffy' is gay?"

*sigh*

You know those times in your life when you're not sure what the
best answer is?  Like if my 4 year old daughter asked me, "Daddy, did
you know the sky is blue?" or if the doorbell rang and some guy said
"Want a free pizza?" [I'm dieting remember]  Some questions just
kind of make your eyes glaze over and you start to lean back hoping that even if
your body can't escape the question, your mind is definitely exiting the room.

"Yes." I replied, "Yes I do know he's gay."

See, in this highly religious, ultra-conservative town most people don't
acknowledge that there are people out there who live different lifestyles than
they do.  I think it's funny when most religious groups focus part of their
lives to evangelism, but fail to recognize differing lifestyles in their own
community, but I digress... and I'll be doing that a lot in this
entry.  

It's these differing lifestyles that religious groups are supposed to reach, but
it's also important to recognize how they live their lives. And personally, I
always thought gay people were easy to spot.

When my wife & I were dating, I met one of her ex-boyfriends at a dinner
party --a good-bye to another one of her friends.  she was going to
Paraguay (or Uruguay
--sometimes it's hard to remember).  After the dinner, as I let my wife
into the car I commented that I thought it was funny that her ex, a fashion
designer, fit the stereotype of the gay fashion maven.  To which she
responded, "He IS gay."  

Yep.

The first time I worked in my old department in 2000, I met 'Princess.' 
Now, Princess is a really nice guy and we get along just fine.  He's a good
confidante and he knows just how far to take any conversation:

Princess - "Well, no luck buying that digital camera yet!"

Me - "Where'd you end up going?"

Princess - "Just over to Future Shop."

Me - "And nothing sparked your interest?"

Princess  - "Not in my price range, no.  But the sales person
kept trying to up-sell me to a $500 camera.  And you know how it is."

Me - "Yup."

Princess - "Cute."

Me - "Yup."

Princess - "Blonde hair..."

Me - "Yup."

Princess - "Blue eyes..."

Me - "Yup."

Princess - "That little bit of stubble..."

Me - "Yu- What?"

Princess gets his name from one of my other old co-workers (from Heaven, not
Hell --for those of you keeping count).  she colour-coordinated the office
keys for everyone and had one separate from the rest --in green.  It was
for the department head's office and was often remarked as the "green for
the queen" key.  Easy to remember --and made funny when the locks were
changed and Princess ended up with the green key.  It remained "green
for the queen."

Upon my return to the department in 2002, Princess was still there, but I was
sharing my office with one of the 2 rookies in the department.  Sex
Caffeine was one, and Fluffy was the other.  Fluffy and I were to be
office-mates.  I first met him across a meeting table and knew immediately
that he was gay.  And to think it took this clerk over 6 months to figure
it out...

Fluffy was "night" compared to Princess' "day." 
Princess is more of a conservative homosexual and, despite being one of the top
dogs of the local Pride Network, hides his sexuality without trying. 
Fluffy on the other hand...  There was a local debate and Fluffy brought
some of his friends to hear this ultra-religious guy speak on the issues of
homosexuality.  He insisted I come along too --to which my old boss
commented that I was an honorary member of the "rainbow brigade."

Not that I was the only honorary member of the 'rainbow brigade' in the department.  There was one guy who is a very close friend of Princess'... he kept insisting for me to know what a true homosexual was, I needed to sit down and watch "Withnail & I."  To this day, he'll follow me into stairwells and start shouting "Boy! Boy!  come here boy!" which is only funny if you've seen the movie.  Ahhh, it's still not that funny.  As it is, both Princess and Fluffy are convinced he's a straight guy who is pretty damn curious to see what a homosexual experience is like.  That comment only makes me nervous when he asks me now to "spot him" in the weight room...

There was an old man asking all sorts of odd questions about homosexuality
and how they practice sex.  Do they lie with each other, do they just masturbate
in front of one another, who kneels?  All sorts of strange questions, to
which Fluffy stood up and shouted, "Oh honey, just try it once and get it
over with!!"

Why me...

People in my church now acknowledge that I know a fair share of gay men and
women and some question whether I should work so closely with them. 
"It's not like it rubs off on you!" I respond (and then usually giggle
because I know what Fluffy would say).

My gay-dar is in working order, that's for sure.  I can spot 'em quick
(apparently even faster than my wife since she went out with 2 gay men in her
life.  Hello?  Actually to be fair --one hasn't come out of the closet
yet, but I make sure I encourage him whenever I see him).  But being able
to spot them means that people ask me questions about homosexuals, especially
with the current issues about same-sex marriage.  Yes, I know gay people.

Do I accept the gay lifestyle?

No.  Why?

I'm not gay.

My Relaxation

Our basketball teams started their playoffs in the championships today and
both teams won nail-biter games and are playing for the gold medals tomorrow
night.

The games are about 400km away and I'm heading up tomorrow morning, watching the
games, then coming home with the teams on their bus.  I should be home
sometime early Sunday morning.

I'm looking forward to getting away, even if it is as hectic as tomorrow's going
to be.  A 5-hour bus ride should be good for contemplating a number of
things and then coming home with the kids will be a good time to get to know
some of them better.  I love 'em all to pieces.

And maybe.  Just maybe.  We'll have some trophies and gold medals to
bring home too.

My Panic

F-Bomb knows.

She actually figured out that there was something between SC & I way back in the
Summer.  She said she could see it in SC's eyes.  To which, stupidly,
I responded, "HER eyes?!?"  Not good.

Not that there actually is anything going on, but F-Bomb isn't exactly a
quiet person and word could get out. Again.

Too bad, because I had been thinking of letting SC know about F-Bomb's job
coming up in a few short weeks.  SC's qualified and I know I can work with
her.  Pretty damn well, too.

But now's the time to panic.  F-Bomb could try and get her revenge on me if
she doesn't stay here in April... oh crap.

My Rest

I had a meeting last night with the group of indecisive people that last
month annoyed me greatly, with the exception of the one guy who noticed I was
constantly looking at my watch not five minutes after the meeting started.

It was tempting to do the same at this meeting, but I knew I had an early escape
route.  My wife had a meeting at the same time downstairs and knowing hers
would be over before mine --I told her to come get me when she was done. 
It didn't stop me from looking at my watch, but it helped knowing that the end
was coming faster than it would've otherwise.

Before that happened, though, they were actually making decisions as to whom
would be the ex-officio members of various committees and then expected to
occasionally report back at these monthly meetings.  I've been working on
Finance and Administration for over two years and quite sick of it since it
gives me numerous meetings each month to go to.  The chair asked "How would
you like to step back from fina--" When I cut him off with a resounding "Yes!"

And, thus I'm now down to 1 meeting a month --and I'll try and be more patient.

I can rest again.

My Huggy Bear

Got some very good news on Wednesday morning.  One of the guys here let
me know that F-Bomb's job is on the line at the moment and it doesn't look like
she'll be here much longer.  The very good part is that her replacement
could be a great person to work with and that just totally made my day.  In
fact, I almost hugged him.  I'd like her job and know I can do it. 
The problem in this working environment is that I have more power over who gets
the job if I'm on the hiring committee than if I apply for the job --especially
knowing that there are others that I could get along with and they could
do the job.  My time will come.

My last entry about the Co-Workers From Hell (the last big one anyway), I talked
about the points they were earning for all the screw-ups they've had this week
and, frankly, I'm amazed Whiner is even still coming to work.  A project
she apparently finished weeks ago wasn't received even though she knows she
faxed it.  She put it through the fax machine, but there's no report
stating it was received and it's the only receipt report we don't have. 
And the bonehead found out almost 9:30 at night.  I started getting
panicked phone calls early Thursday morning and I had no idea what was going on
or what exactly had gone wrong.  Whiner had sent an email message to F-Bomb
and my boss, but not to me.  I had no idea why everyone was panicking, but
it was starting to make me nervous for all of us just because I couldn't answer
any questions I was getting that morning.  GAH!!

Even worse is I was trying to get all my crap together for a career fair we were
having that day.  I almost had everything ready when I noticed a flurry of
new email messages in my inbox --all from Brenda.  A little worried since
they all had the same response, a vacation reply.  I decided to phone her
and let her know that if she'd received any emails from me that morning (or even
the day before), not to open them as they may have a virus and proceeded to
explain the virus issue with Whiner.

While I was on the phone, F-Bomb had come into the office area and mouthed a
question asking who I was talking to on the phone.  I mouthed back 'Brenda'
and she rolled her eyes.  Then she shook her head.  Sex Caffeine had
just walked in --wanting to know if I had time for a coffee before setting up
for the career fair (she had to set up too and as it turned out, we were next to
each other in the exhibitor area.  Super.

When I got off the phone with Brenda, I told SC I'd meet her in the exhibitor
area and we could talk and set up and then grab our "free coffee and muffin" and
talk before the fair started (we had an hour).  First, of course, I had to
talk to F-Bomb about the panicked phone calls.

F-Bomb explained Whiner's latest "foul-up" to which I just kept rolling my eyes
and looking over to where SC had walked and said I needed to go and get coffee.

Whiner let out a big sigh and said, "Jesus, it's a wonder you're still married."

I laughed and said, "Yeah, well I still am!" And walked away.

And it wasn't until I sat down for a coffee with SC and explaining who I'd been
talking to on the phone that I realized something major.

F-Bomb knows....

My Week Dat Wuz

Okay:



Guess which writing is mine?

Co-Workers From Hell are getting to me, they really are.

I'm going away (hopefully) this weekend to a couple of basketball games. 
I'm leaving early tomorrow morning and I'll be home eeeaaarrrlllllyyyy Sunday
morning.  I'm coming back with the teams and I love 'em all to
pieces.  They're all good kids and both teams most likely will be
playing in the basketball championships tomorrow.  It's a 5-hour bus ride
to get there, but it's worth supporting them!

My Peter Principle

"The original (Peter) principle states that
in a hierarchically structured administration, people tend to be
promoted up to their "level of incompetence". The
principle is based on the observation that in such an organization new employees
typically start in the lower ranks, but when they prove to be competent in the
task to which they are assigned, they get promoted to a higher rank. This
process of climbing up the hierarchical ladder can go on indefinitely, until the
employee reaches a position where he or she is no longer competent. At that
moment the process typically stops, since the established rules of bureacracies
(sic) make that it is very difficult to "demote" someone to a lower rank, even
if that person would be much better fitted and more happy in that lower
position. The net result is that most of the higher levels of a bureaucracy will
be filled by incompetent people, who got there because they were quite good at
doing a different (and usually, but not always, easier) task than the one they
are expected to do."  --Prof. F. Heylighen, Free University of Brussels

My first thought/concern was that after 7 years I've really gone nowhere
and although I've bounced into a few lucrative short-term contracts, nothing's
actually worked out that way on a more permanent scale.  That's not to say
in the union environment I'm not permanent --I am--  but I'm on the second
lowest tier of the entire hierarchy.  That hierarchy, last time I checked,
went to at least a 14th level.  In the grand totem pole here, I'm somewhere
underneath the weeds surrounding the base.

My second thought is that I've just kept my usual amount of dumb luck and any
opportunities I've had I've run into bad luck and here's where I've ended up. 
My big mouth opens at the wrong time and I'm relegated here.  But then,
that does show a level of incompetence, right?

If people were to ask me to rate my job satisfaction on a scale of 1 to 10, then
most days (usually when it's just me or my boss & I working) it's at least an 8
or 9.  When the Co-workers From Hell are there, it can easily be a 2. 
Maybe. 

F-Bomb has been told by the boss that she has skills, but her main weakness is
in the details and details is a major part of our jobs.  you miss the
details, then things fall apart.  When she is responsible for scheduling,
why are there so many schedule conflicts?  If Whiner says she can do the
scheduling blindfolded and has proven that her math skills rate below those of a
goldfish, why doesn't she do the scheduling?  And why, oh why, is my boss
convinced that F-Bomb is the going places?  Who has he talked to
about this?

One word I try very hard to keep out of my "work vocabulary" is 'can't'. 
There's nothing I "can't" do, but there are things that I may not understand how
to do and I'll find someone who does to show me how to do it.  No "can't"
there.  The other step in the Peter Principle is that you need to make the
others around you look good in order for them to be promoted and therefore, out
of your hair.  Hopefully.  So, the best thing for me to do is make my
Co-workers (From Hell of course) look good and then they have the opportunity to
move on to something else and get out of my hair --at least while I still have
it.  If they look good then they can move on and I have an opportunity to
make them look good.

I can't.

My Lecture Circuit

I have a thought.  I think Whiner & F-Bomb know what I think of them
--being the ultimate Co-Workers From Hell (CFH).  But I've never said which
one is the #1 CFH and I think that may be making them compete.  I have to
go with this logic since it's the only way I can keep sane with the crap they do
on a daily basis. I'm nearly at wit's end today after the number of lectures
here at work yesterday.  

To start the day off, Whiner left me a number of emails wanting me to finish up
her 2 latest projects because she's so far behind.  I think I mentioned in
an earlier post that we can scan our email recipients and see when and if
they've checked their email.  Now, I doubt Whiner knows how to do this, but
I decided to mark the emails as 'unread' to make her suffer even more.  I
know Whiner scans my email inbox when she comes into the office, so I've made it
blatantly obvious that I've ignored her messages.  After half an hour of
her... whining... about my not following through on her problem, I gave a short
but stern lecture on the importance of finishing her projects on time and not
leaving them to the last minute and expecting someone else to take care of it
for her.

F-Bomb rallied to score CFH points by exclaiming to the boss that I'm behind on
a project that she thinks should be at the top of my list.  It's actually
closer to #12 on my priorities (it's due in September after all) and I've told
my boss there are far more important projects due sooner that I need to work
on.  Of course, then I realized that F-bomb hasn't sent me the requested
information for my #12 project anyway, so I couldn't do anything with it if I
wanted to.  In a battle of wits, she remains the loser.

But wait, before F-Bomb could start to gain more points than Whiner, we get a
report from the IT department.  Whiner downloaded the Netsky Worm Virus on
Monday night and it deleted thousands of files throughout the network in a space
of a couple of hours.  So, after my lecture from the IT techies, I passed
the lecture on to Whiner.  She's not impressed, but she should be with the
number of CFH points she gained in 2 hours.

Whiner really pulled ahead when a number of new clothes came in and she decided
to put them through the wash... together.  All the white and all the blues,
which (with the basic math skills she obviously doesn't have) mean we now have
all the blues... Head hurting.

F-Bomb comes back with a flurry --in the form of vomit.  Incredibly sick,
she decides it's more important to come in to work than stay at home and
recover.  She could work from home, but that would just be a double-benefit
to everyone here.  A - she won't be around. B - no one else would get
sick.  She throws up 4 times before I head for home.  Disgusting.

My boss has decided he needs to earn some points here too.  I found out
late yesterday he hasn't approved my vacation request (and isn't it obvious I
need a vacation???) yet, because he wants to make sure it doesn't conflict with
anyone else's requests.  Thus starts the lecture on the meaning and
importance of seniority and why/how I get first pick of the vacation time. 
It's amazing that in my first 6 years of working here I was told almost daily
how other people's seniority made them more important than me and now all I hear
is how meaningless seniority is these days.  Nice.

Maybe My Year can also be about looking for a new job somewhere else....

My Philosophy II

My wife is watching Oprah and there are gifts a plenty being handed out to
the audience.  The women are screaming with pleasure.  They're
screaming a lot.  And one woman's face sums up my new philosophy, which
makes me laugh:

There are more orgasms in an episode of Oprah than the average porno movie.

I figure each woman's having an orgasm every 4 minutes on this show. 
That'll be 15 big O's by the time the credits roll.

My Life

I'm working on an extremely long entry about the group I was involved in when
I was a teenager.  It'a taking me a long time to put it together, but the
point of it is that for the past 10 years I've focused on everything negative
about the group, but since my chance meeting with Brenda just over a week ago,
I've had a flood of memories and the good times I had.

It made me acknowledge that I stayed in too long and at a time when I was still
active, I was reminiscing about the good times.  When I finally asked
myself why I reminisced about good times when I was still there, I knew it was
time to go.  And it wasn't a happy good-bye.

But now I can look back 18 years in wonder...

My Depression

I've noticed for the past few weeks that I tend to get down on everything at
the beginning of the week.  If I'm not in a pissy mood, then I'm just
really depressed and had enough of everything.  I think I may be going
crazy.

Today hasn't been a good day either and I found myself cursing up a storm on the
drive home.  It was an annoying day at work and I'd had it with people when
I left for home.  It was a beautiful day today too and I couldn't help but
notice that as soon as it gets really wamr, people's brains completely turn off
and those pesky red lights, stop signs and traffic laws just get in the way --as
do other vehicles.  And by the time my second Co-worker From Hell came in
today around 2:30 I was ready to go.  She, of course, needed help with some
invitations she's supposed to be doing.  She doing them with MS Publisher
and is really pleased with her work so far, but can't figure out basic
formatting (or spelling for that matter) and constantly asks me for help. 
Being the beginning of March, I have to get all our cash and accounting
straightened out and over to the accounting people (who are constantly stressed
and would prefer it if the work they need could be done properly the first time
around --and don't you dare ask them how they'd like it, 'cuz you should know
already!).  And, of course, my CFH doesn't want me walking out the door to
get my own work done.

Meanwhile, CFH #2 --F-Bomb-- is in the boss' office complaining about my lack of
updates on a contact list.  It's a low priority for me and I've been very
open about it (it's about #12 on my list right now and #1-11 need to be done
three or four hours ago).  My boss is shuffling through files on his desk
and I walk in to comment that I haven't actually gotten all the contact info
from her and that she's the one with his résumé in her won files.  She
denies it and says it's an email file.  My boss slams down the files and
tells her to find the contact info her damn self.  The war continues...

I've kind of converted our first aid room into a temporary office so I can
escape the two CFH and get some work done behind closed doors.  There's a
phone in there, so I can make calls where I need to and just make sure I don't
need to use the computer anymore that day.  Some of the people I used to
work with like to bug me about my "fans" (some of the females I work with and I
like to hang around with).  It can't be helped but hang around with women
in the office  8 out of 10 people who work here are women, after all. 
But aside from that, my new "office" lacks a desk, but has 2 massage tables and
a bed.  So much for denying my "womanizing."

I'm at home now and going crazy.  I tried to have a quick nap and was woken
every few minutes by my screaming son.  He's tired too, but instead of
putting his head back and sleeping, he puts his head back to get a bigger cry
and/or scream out of his lungs.  My daughter's missed her nap today too, so
she's being a brat and causing all sorts of trouble.  So, 5 minutes of
sleep for me and I'm not feeling any better.

My parents brought down 3 boxes of photos yesterday as I'm trying to scan a
number of pictures of my life.  I have 2 photo albums of my own here
--pre-marriage-- and nothing for the first 20 years of my life. 
Apparently, after looking through some of the photo albums, that's because I'm
the forgotten child in my family.  For every dozen or so pictures of things
my sister did, there's one of me or something I was at in my life.  The
youth groups we were involved in during our teenage years has a couple of albums
dedicated to my sister.  She was involved from the age of 11 to 20 and was
voted to the top office once when she was 16.  I joined when I was 12 and
stayed until just shy of my 21st birthday and was elected to the top office 4
times, when I was 15, 17, 18 and 20.  There's 8 photos of my time in the
group.  2 albums for my sister.

One of the pictures of me in the album is a great shot of my old "rebellious"
hairstyle and I honestly (now) can't believe I ever looked like that. 
'What the Hell was I thinking?' springs to mind, actually.  Regardless, I
wanted my wife to see the picture, since she's only known me to be a (fairly)
straight-laced kinda guy.  She could care less about seeing it and told me
not to bother last night.

I'm still walking in a daze today.

I'm going to pretend that my depression stems simply from a lack of sleep (got
to sleep about 1:30 this morning and woken by my son's crying at 4:30, then got
up for work) and a long day. 

I hate pretending.