My Weather Wars

I sent a couple pictures to my friend, Brat, and she posted a link to one of
them on her blog. Well,
here's the other picture as the war of winter weather between the west coast and
the east coast continues:



Ah yes, the winter storm damage here in British Columbia.  Har har!!

Actually, I got an email later accusing me of being a brat because of the
flowers in full-bloom. Hadn't noticed them before since we always have flowers
blooming here.

Seriously, I'm surprised they bother talking to me anymore.

My High Fidelity

If you haven't seen John Cusack in the movie 'High Fidelity,' then this might
not make much sense, but here goes anyway...

My 5 Most Memorable Break-Ups consist of:  

1.  Brenda.  It was memorable just because the final time we
actually broke up it was just the two of us holding on to each other before we
finally knew we had to let go.  We did and now 12 years later we've run
into each other again.  And it's really strange. 2. Mel.  Aw
man.  Mel lives in Washington state and really helped me become more
Anti-American  We'd known each other through my sister for a few years and
hooked up just after I graduated from high school.  I told her what I was
going to be taking in my first semester at college and she said that would be
too hard after high school which led to a big discussion about the differences
in the quality of education in the U.S. compared to Canada and after that she
didn't want anything more to do with me.  I heard she'd married twice since
then and is working at a Fredrick's of Hollywood somewhere.  3.
Christine.  I went out with Christine for a few months after Brenda &
I'd broken up the second time.  She'd... grabbed my attention one night in
a parking lot by putting my hand on her breast to show me how "cold"
it was outside...  She had a amazing eyes, but there never really was much
between us.  4. Nicole.  Nicole was my very first girlfriend
and I moved away. She wrote me a letter about a week later and said we were
done.  Never saw her again, but never really felt too bad about it.  I
am, however, very curious to see if she made anything of herself.  Most of
my friends from that time of my life have just disappeared off the face of the
Earth.  5. Robyn.  Robyn & I started dating after Brenda
& I were finally, finally done.  She was my best friend's sister and he
claims the best day in his life was the day we broke up.  We went out for
about 2 years and I was going to say I was only unfaithful one stupid night when
circumstances arose.  Not true, though.  I was actually seeing Robyn
when I met my wife.  In fact, my wife helped pick out a ring for
Robyn.  I still have the ring and I'll give it to my daughter when she
starts high school.  I just got tired of Robyn and I think she got tired of
me.  If not, I sabotaged the relationship enough by the end that she was
sick of me.  My boss was in shock when I walked back into work and shrugged
off breaking up with a girl I'd been with for as long as he'd known me.  It
was the start of my new life.

My 5 Favorite Books would include 'Winter King' by Bernard Cornwell, 'The
Skystone' by Jack Whyte, 'Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers' by Grant Naylor,
'Canterbury Tales' by Chaucer, and 'Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar
Wilde.  4 of these books have a common theme - immortality, in one form or
another.

My 5 Favorite American Films.  Man, this one's tough.  'Usual
Suspects' was one movie I'd rented and didn't get to watch it during my
rental period.  I got just past the "New York's Finest Taxi
Service" scene and had to take it back.  I agonized for a week before
I was able to rent it again.  'Braveheart' was
just a cool movie in nearly every sense.  Although the history major in me
cringes at some of the inaccuracies in the dates and events. 'Men
With Brooms' has constantly stuck in my head since I first saw it. The
return of the heroes --to play a curling game in their hometown.  Sweet and
ironic.  'Legends of the Fall' has always choked
me up.  I haven't watched it in a week.  'Always'
is probably my favorite Steven Spielberg movie, despite him being my all-time
favorite director/producer.  there's just something about a guy learning to
let go of his past that strikes a chord with me.  Again and again and
again.

The 5 worst things that I've done to my partner even if --especially if-- my
partner doesn't know about them. 

"She's right, of course. I am a fucking
asshole. I did and said those things. But before you judge, although you've
probably already done so, go off for a minute and write down the top five worst
things that you have done to your partner, even if -- especially if -- your
partner doesn't know about them. Don't dress things up or try to explain them.
Just write them down in the plainest language possible... Pencils down. Okay, so
who's the asshole now?"

1 - I once used her credit card to buy her something
expensive.  2 - Her Christmas gift one year consisted of a stack of books I
wanted to read.  3 - When she first asked me to come to church with her I
nearly broke up with her just so I wouldn't have to go. 4 - I didn't invite her
to come to a party with me because I didn't want her to ruin my fun.  5 -
When she was pregnant with our second child, I nearly had an affair.  I'm
the asshole now....

My top 5 angry songs about women have to include "Like A
Friend" by Pulp:

"You are that last drink I never should have drunk You
are the body hidden in the trunk You are the habit I can't seem to kick You are
my secrets on the front page every week. You are the car I never should have
bought You are the train I never should have caught You are the cut that makes
me hide my face You are the party that makes me feel my age."

"Don't Come Around Here No More" by Tom Petty and the
Heartbreakers is definitely on there as is "Bright Lights" by Matchbox
20.  "Song for the Dumped" by Ben Folds Five definitely
works.  Finally, gotta have "Laura" by Billy Joel:

"Here I am feeling like a fucking fool Do I react the way
exactly She intends me to?" Classic.

My Top 5 songs about death have "People Get Ready" but no one
does it better than Bob Dylan.  Gotta have Dylan sing about death... Peter
Gabriel sings "When You're Falling" which I think makes some reference
to death. "November Rain" by Guns and Roses, but that may be skewed by
the music video.  I honestly can't think of another one --except the
classic stand-by: "Mr. Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan, of course. 
Then again, there's always William Shatner's version of the song....

The 5 records/albums I'd have with me on a desert island.  Sgt
Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles becuase it's the best album the
Beatles did while they were still a band.  Let It Be came really late and
they'd drifted already. Us by Peter Gabriel. It's probably his best album ever.
Pink Floyd's The Wall is a definite.  Even my mother liked that album and
Comfortably Numb killed speakers in my car once. (I learned my lesson though).
My fourth album would be nvisible Touch by Genesis.  It was one of the
Ultimate 80s albums, as was my fifth pick: Seven and the Ragged Tiger by Duran
Duran.  New Moon on Monday is a song that gets stuck in my head on cold
nights in a lonely parking lot.

This was fun.  Now I gotta go watch the movie again!!

My Schedule

So, we're trying to find a good time to get together for coffee and either
Brenda or I are busy every weekend for almost the next month.  Week days
don't work because of, well, work.  We're both very busy people, but want
to get together and catch up more than we could at a party.

So, our planning session went something like this: She says, "how 'bout
this weekend, the 28th or 29th?"  and I say, "No. Busy with games
on the 28th and have my daughter's birthday party on the 29th.  Oh,
actually the following weekend's out for me too."  She say, "Oh,
too bad.  I'm open and busy the following weekend."  To which I
say, "How about the weekend of March 20th then?" She replies,
"Busy. Very busy.  I'm away in Kamloops that weekend with the
kids."  And then I realize I'm busy that weekend too and say "I'm
actually busy and forgot, but you're gonna freak.  I'm going to be in
Kamloops that weekend too."

So, we star-cross'd [former] lovers are going to meet again in a far flung
city....

In four friggin' weeks.

My Risk Factor of Zero

I mentioned last week that I was taking a gable on an eBay auction. 
Well, I lost, but I'm not too upset by it.  It was for a position as
assistant coach with a hockey team made up of old NHL players, including Cam
Neely, Bryan Trottier and Tiger Williams.  I bid $250.00, but it went just
over $300 in the end.  Crap.

At the same time, though, I'd opened the local newspaper and there was a
full-page ad for a dealership with the EXACT car I've wanted to buy in the EXACT
colour and EXACT specifications.  Not only do I never flip the paper open
to the car ads, but I did and this is what hits me.  I decided to go to the
car lot after the birthday party and wouldn't ya know it --it sold before lunch
that same day.

Crap.

Even when I gear myself up to take these risks I still blow it!!

My Confused Kids

Apparently, it's just as bad for someone like me to talk about an old flame
like I have been today as it is for these kids' parents to talk about sex. 
Makes sense, I guess.   Most of these kids would've been in diapers
when we first got together.  It's like their dad's telling them sex
stories.

I'm still all about the love, though.

My Love... 'Cuz I'm All About the Love!

For the past 2 weeks I've been in a pissy mood once I've gotten into the
office.  Things go wrong and I'm sick of it.  It feels sometimes like
my head is just going to blow apart and splatter all over the office.  And
today should've been exactly the same again.  Whiner was away with the boss
training all day (I went through the training back in January) and we had some
of My Kids covering.  Sadly, 2 of the kids were sick today (well, one sick
and the other broke some ribs in a hockey game last night) and there was no one
around for coverage --except me, but that meant working at least a 15-hour shift
which has been pooh-poohed by management since I was forced into doing 4 of
those one week back in the spring.  We get time-and-a-half overtime 20
minutes after our shift ends and after 3 hours we get double-time, so the extra
8 hours in one day just ain't a good thing.  What really sucks for me is
that I have to take the overtime as "time off" and I barely fit in my
vacation days as it is.  I have 32-plus vacation days to take this year and
another 35 OT days.  So, over 67 days to take, which works out to be almost
13 and a half weeks.  If only I had some money, I could go somewhere!!

I worked the full day today anyway and as I write this, I have another 4 hours
to go tonight.  Crazy.

Even crazier is that I had no problem coming into work when one of My Kids
called at 6:23 this morning and have been in a generally happy mood all
day.  No one was expecting that, but then I wasn't expecting to run into My
First Love on Saturday either. And, yes, it's put me in a good mood.

It's partial shock that's put me in this mood, but also the flood of great
memories from our past.  All these memories are starting to come back to
me.  The last movie we watched together was Beauty and the Beast.  She
wore a Marilyn Monroe costume one Halloween and I thought she'd cut her hair
really short for Monroe look.  The Halloween party we broke up at (we broke
up a few times), she was wearing a vampire's costume and sat in the kitchen with
my best friend and drank beer for a few hours.  that was one of the last
night's he and I spoke as well as he was going out with her best friend and I
decided I didn't want much to do with any of them anymore.  Her name was
Nicole and she had a lock on the outside of her bedroom door.  She had a
Mickey Mouse alarm clock that everyone wanted to smash with a baseball bat because
it was so annoying.  Her sister's name was Karen and the first time I met
her she passed out in her bathroom and it took 4 of us to carry her out into the
hallway so we could pee in private.  I had to shift her nightgown so we
weren't staring at her panties as we moved her.  That was 14 years ago.

Karen's boyfriend was a guy named Jay and he was best friends with a guy named
Brad and Brad was brother to one of my close friends, Sean.  Jay married a
girl named Christine and she had once asked me to marry her.  I couldn't
remember her name until this weekend.  Jay was a heavy breather. 
Christine had a friend named Kathy whom I took to McDonald's for dinner one
night and didn't see her again until she pinched my butt at the ferry terminal
when I was on my way to Victoria in 1990 for the night I discovered about
Brenda's best friend having a crush on me.  Kathy reached out of a car
window to pinch me and the guy driving that car was named Mark.  His band's
name was Jesus Krysler and last week I couldn't remember his name.  He had
a white tuxedo and always wore a green bow tie with white polka-dots whenever he
wore the tux.  The first time I met Mark he did a drum solo for a
"gong show" type party back in 1986.  He won.

I can't remember when I started seeing my next girlfriend, though.

But I'm in a good mood now and people find it strange.  I had to tell them
why, of course.  Can't just leave them wondering why the sudden mood
swing....

And word's gotten around quickly, of course.  I'm in a good mood 'cause I
got to see an old flame and we hit it off.  Again.  One guy asked me
outright: "So, when was the last time you emailed her?"

I smiled and said, "Half an hour ago."

"Man, that's why I love you."

"Of course!" I replied, "I'm all about the love."

My Amazing Grace

The 90th birthday party was this afternoon and I knew it was going to be a
different day.  After my workout this morning, I raced home to wash my car
before turning around, getting back in the car and driving into Vancouver for
the afternoon.  My father had given me directions to the location of the
party since he'd been then numerous times and I had never set foot in the door
before.  I wanted extra time as my father had me counting lights to find
the right street.  Seeing as how he hasn't lived in this area for a good 6
years, I'm thinking things may have changed.

And they have.

Regardless, as I was driving in and listening to the
radio, AC-DC's 'Shook Me All Night
Long' started to play and I started reminiscing about Brenda, mentioned here in
a an earlier

post - My First Love.  That song was one of the ones we'd always
dance to and I always find a smile creeping across my face when I recall that
night and the pink dress she wore... that was our first 'big' night together.

And that got me to thinking.  Who else could I see at this party? 
It's been years since I've seen most people and I'm honestly surprised when they
come up to me and say hello and I have no idea who they are.  At some point
in my life I've made such an impression on these people that no matter how many
years have passed, they still recognize me.  Even more interesting is to
think that when they knew well I was a short, fat guy with a thick beard and
long, long hair (at least half-way down my back).  Now, I'm older, fitter (yay!!)
shorn hair (with colourful hints) and standing taller because I fell I'm better
than most of these people (aren't I nice?).  I remember, years ago, my
parents convinced me to come out to one thing in Richmond and there were a few
familiar faces. Faces I could recognize, but their names had long since escaped. 
One woman came rushing over to me and I seriously had no idea who she was. 
She was very attractive and had a sparkling smile as she made her way across the
room to me.  I knew who she was the minute she spoke and I hadn't seen her
(at that point) in about 6 years and when I'd last seen her she'd been dressing
like a tom-boy.  This was a new experience for me.  At a couple of
other 'things' over the past couple of years, she's rushed over to see me again
and asked about my wife and kids and it's always felt good to talk to her. 
Despite her being there when everything went to pieces back in 1994, this was a
fresh take on someone who knew well --and knew me when.

I wondered if she'd be there too.

I thought about a few of the friends that just disappeared just before
everything fell apart 10 years ago and became a little nervous about seeing some
of them again after so many years.  What would they look like?  It was
like a high school reunion all over again, only instead of being the
valedictorian, I was the class president who stood in front of them all, gave
them the finger and walked offstage....

I arrived early, thanks in no part to my father's directions (he was off by a
few lights so I just looked for an older looking intersection--lo and behold)
and entered the building.  I walked slowly towards the front doors, feeling
a little uneasy about it, but knowing I was this close and I'd better go in. 
No other family members were going to be there for the party, so it was up to me
to represent the family. 

Great. I'm one of the only people there so far.

They've put out seating for about 300 people and there's 4 or 5 people sitting
and another dozen or so running around getting food on tables and coffee
brewing.  So much for blending into the crowd there's nobody frigging
here!! And I'm the youngest by about 25 years.  I sit fairly close (but 2
rows back) form the majority of the people already sitting and hope I start a
trend and people start sitting around me.  It doesn't happen.  By the
time the party starts and she's being escorted in (I've never seen a 90-year old
woman move like that, she was so excited!) there's 2 other people sitting in my
row and about 10 in front of me.  Most people are sitting in the back or on
the other side of the building and I'm feeling really out of place.  Yes,
there's some familiar faces, including one guy I never thought I'd see again
--it'd been 12 years since he wanted to punch me out, but he took the better
road and quit instead.  I silently got my revenge while noticing my nice
suit and tie compared to his t-shirt and jeans and obvious weight gain giving
him a kind of beanbag chair shape.  When he turned towards me I felt for
him when I saw that there's more hair on my chin than he has on his entire head. 
Gotta hate it when that happens.

Soon, another guy I knew about 14 or 15 years ago walks in.  We used to
ridicule him about his over-friendly demeanor (especially when he wasn't well
liked in the first place) and made sure that whenever he came over to my friends
and I and said his traditional "Hey fellas!" greeting (think about it --who said
that in the 80s????) and then shook our hand by cupping his other hand over ours
that we'd then greet each other in the same manner.  Then I realize he's
wearing leather pants and a leather vest and I start to wonder if he just got
off work with some Village People wannabe group.  Good Lord.

He sees me and recognizes me and makes his way over.  I smile and stand and
he extends his hand.  I shake it and quickly take my hand back as he bring
his other hand forward to cup our hands together.  Nope, not gonna happen
Sport.  None of the other guys are around so I can't openly ridicule you
again, sorry.

The birthday party starts with a group of Shriner highlanders playing a few
songs for the birthday girl --including Amazing Grace, quite appropriate since
her name is Grace.  We're asked to stand in order of the groups we belonged
to in order to recognize her willingness to volunteer for all sorts of
organizations (there's RCMP, Shriners, hospital people...) and when my groups is
announced about 5 of us stand and I'm the only one on my side of the building. I
hear one semi-muted "Oh my God" from my left and realize someone's recognized a
ghost of events past.  That's followed by a fairly quick biography of
Grace's life and an announcement from the MC: "I'm sure we all have stories we
could share this afternoon, but we don't want anyone to play favorites. 
Just get in line and greet Grace and wish her a happy birthday.  Mingle,
people!"

That's exactly what I would've done.  A 15-minute birthday celebration and
a line to give our regards to the birthday girl.

I get in line early to try and avoid contact with the few people I recognize
(that would be recognizing them both by face and name).  I go through the
line and give my birthday wishes and pass on messages from the family (is this
sounding Mafia-esque??). It's straight from that line to the coffee line and
from there I'll probably head home.

Suddenly, my name is called from behind me in line.

I think about Brenda a couple of times a year and wonder what she's up to these
days.  Is she happy?  Is she finally married?  How's she looking
(hehe)? Is there anything I should know about her now?

And here she was.  My First Love standing in front of me for the first time
in over a decade.  After a quick "oh my God" from my mouth I'm holding her
close in a hug that she should've gotten 12 years ago.

And we talk for about an hour.  I learn all about her dog and her job and
her boyfriend.  She's 32 and nowhere near being married.  She's
somehow still involved with this group despite not being there when I left
and comment on my amazement of that fact.  To take another mafia-esque
point-of-view from Al Pacino's Michael Corleone in Godfather III:
"Ugh -- just when I thought I was out, they pull me
back in!"   I left in 1991 and was back again by 1992 only to
leave again in 1994.

And I think she could quite quickly pull me back in again.

Then reality hits, thankfully, and I visit with a few other people --one family
in particular.  I joked often with their oldest daughter (who happens to be
about 3 weeks older than me) about being the first girl I ever slept with (and
leave out the part of us being less than 4 months old at the time). 
There's another woman with them who seems to gain about 50 pounds every time I
see her and again I'm thankful I don't see these people that often.  I get
to play the prodigal son for a change and they're none the wiser as to what my
life is like.  They know what I tell them and nothing more. I tell them I
work at a university and one of them asks me what I teach.  I try to
quickly explain what I do, but they're stuck on the whole teaching thing so I
drop it.  I check the time and get ready to leave.  I've been good and
snacked on a strawberry or two and left the chocolate marshmallow treats
unmolested as per my diet and exercise plan.  I scan the room and see
Brenda watching me.  She's with her mother and as I wave and mouth
'good-bye' she motions me over to see her mother We talk for a few minutes again
and her mother looks me over, most likely wondering why I'm married with 2 kids
and her youngest daughter is still single.  I give Brenda one last hug
good-bye and find myself smelling her hair again, just like I did 12 years ago. 
She still smells like flowers.  I pull away from the hug but hold her hands
and look into her eyes and say the most important words I can say to her:

"I'll see you in 10 years."

My Reason for Drinking

My Co-Workers From Hell (CFH for short) were in fine form this week. 
One of them, the Whiner, missed a deadline for project and blamed me because she
wasn't happy with the 2 items I contributed to it.  She'd asked me to redo
them, but there actually wasn't anything wrong with them (she just didn't like
them) and I refused with the deadline looming.  So, she held off until I
did it again.

She missed something there, right?

F-Bomb was also on a roll this week. A project she was working on has a deadline
of February 24th, but when she realized it was this close she walked into the
boss' office and blamed him for leaving it to her with such a tight deadline. 
The really funny bit is she has a calendar that has nothing but these deadlines
listed in it and she could've been working on this project for months and left
it to the last week when the boss asked her for an update.  She also
managed to have 2 blank pages copied into an 8-page (count 'em: e-i-g-h-t!!)
presentation of some of the information from our webpages.  That
information was last updated the first week of January (no changes since!!) by
Yours Truly and was due Feb. 21 --again, she could've done it at any point in
the past 7 weeks, but left it to the last week and then mis-counted the number
of pages.  She asked me to help out with correcting that one and we got it
done on time.  Finally, she lost an order that was needed for the 21st as
well and blew her top with the purchasing department when she found out I'd
submitted an order the day after and it was confirmed to ship on the 20th. 
It was a close to last-minute request as they're needed for next Friday, the
27th.

This isn't to say I had a great week or anything.  I dropped the ball on
the previously mentioned order and had to clarify what we needed within 2 weeks
of its' due date.  Originally, it was supposed to be ordered before
Christmas and the order disappeared at some point.  Crap.

My boss referred to all the problems as "meltdowns" but I pointed out that my
mistake was rectified in time and therefore it was only a potential
meltdown and therefore no one was growing any extra limbs --or things out of
their foreheads.

That last comment was a parting shot at F-Bomb who caught some weird skin
infection and I had to take her to the hospital when her forehead started
growing these huge red spots.  I was a nice guy and bought her a get well
card for us all to sign.  Whiner wasn't too appreciative of the card and
said flowers would be better.  My boss retorted that if we bought flowers
every time someone in the office was sick then we'd be buying her flowers every
week.  To date, she's used up all her sick days (and we have 30 bloody sick
days) and a week's worth of holidays to cover all her sick time.  I've used
5 days in the past 2 years.

Whiner sent me an email about 2 hours ago asking where the videos were for one
of the coaches.  I responded that the message she'd just sent was the first
time I'd heard about any videos and maybe it'd be best to just do something
that's asked of her instead of waiting to get me to do it.

And then I raised a glass to my co-workers from Hell.

My Saving Grace

I was planning on attending a birthday party for a 90-year old woman on
February 21st.  I've known her since the mid-1980s, so felt I should
attend.  She's sent Christmas cards every year up until now (she's decided
to stop since her husband died a few years back and it doesn't feel the same
sending them out anymore) and has always talked to my parents (whom she sees
much more often than me since I left the organization we were all involved with
back then) about my wife and children.

90 years old!  I decided to explain to my daughter exactly how long
90 years is and the best method I could come up with was drawing dots on her
whiteboard.  I started with 4 pink dots explaining to her that those
represented how old she is. 1 dot for her being born, 1 for when she started
walking, 1 for when she started Sunday School, and a 4th dot for her upcoming
birthday.  I then *sigh* added another 26 green dots explaining that the 4
pink and 26 green dots represented how old I am and everything I've done in my
life.  I added some orange dots to represent my wife's age and finally
continued on and on and on to finally hit 90 dots and showing her just how long
this lady had been living.

My daughter looked at me and asked how old her grandmother is... and that's when
it struck me...

OH CRAP!!  It's my mother's birthday!!

My daughter --my saving grace.

My Old Gang

Ran into Princess yesterday in the hallways and he was quick to comment on my
isolation of late.  He hasn't spoken to me since before Christmas either
--in fact, I looked up the last email and it was the 1st week of December I'd
last 'talked' to him.  I didn't say it, but he shouldn't expect me to visit
too often when his "neighbors" are SC and Big Mama, my evil old
boss.  While we were talking in the hall, more and more people from the old
department starting coming out into the hallways, including SC but Big Mama
(thankfully) was nowhere to be seen.  Princess asked me: "don't you
miss us?" To which I responded:

"I've missed you all."

"Well, most of you."

"Some of you."

"One of you."

"Maybe."

I hope they took the hint.

My Other Frustration

Here I am talking about cheating husbands, looking at other people's -uh-
meals, and the importance of family in life and here I am staring at one of My
Kids.

Wearing too short of shorts, too short of a top and exercising like a mad woman.

Damn.  Gotta look away.

Now.

Now.

Okay, now.

My Philosophy

I came close, but didn't cheat on my wife.  The temptation was
definitely there and I'm convinced that had SC asked me to come home with her
one night (or even one day over lunch) I would've said 'yes.'  That
close.

I mentioned a few days back that one of my classmates had her husband leave her
and it started a whole slew of messages about cheating husbands and such. 
I offered my philosophy:

Marriage is like going to a restaurant for dinner.  you can look and see
what other people are having, but it doesn't mean you can eat off their
plate.  Therefore, it's okay to look at other women, but sampling is
strictly forbidden!!

I got semi-blasted for that comment.

But it's true.  If my wife takes a glance at another man every once in a
while, I don't mind at all.  All it means is that there's still some drive
and/or energy in her and it's totally cool if she can look at another guy and
say, "Damn!"  Actually, she'd never say damn, but I like to think
she could if she wanted to.

My Frustration

So, I'm reading email from my "classmates" this morning and noticed
trend in the messages.

I think in the Fall I'd started a diatribe about the mess my marriage was in and
the potential for trouble with good ol' Sex Caffeine.  It had gotten to the
point where I was seriously thinking about quitting my job and going back to
school to finish my degree.  I make no qualms about how crappy I'm treated
around here when it comes to promotion as a degree counts for more experience
than 7 years in the bloody office doing the damn job.  And I expect it to
happen again in April.

So, yes, there's trouble in the marriage and the willingness to cooperate isn't
always apparent and we seem to treat each more like friends than anything
else.  Take that along with bad temptations at work (remember: this was in
the past and I've improved the situation in that regard this year) and life was
just a huge mass of frustrations.

I wanted to quit everything and focus on my schooling for a while.  Sound
familiar? My Year is all about quitting certain things in order to focus on the
most important thing in my life: ME.

My classmates had been quick to point out that quitting everything and moving
closer to school wasn't a good solution to my problems.  A move to school
would actually mean moving 3 time-zones East and, thus, leaving family
here.  Let's face it.  Family is a major distraction when it comes to
studying and I've been known in the past to take off  for a week in order
to study for my exams.  I'd leave at 7 in the morning in order to study for
an hour before work, then stick around for another 6 hours afterward to continue
cramming for the entire week.

My classmates talked me out of it and made me realize that I needed to focus on
things here for now and try straighten them out. Well fine, but now we have two
people going through a variation of my frustrations and they're doing nothing
but encouraging both.  Yes, one has just had her marriage fall apart and
she'd already started to focus on school and staying away from the house (I've
been afraid to mention that her husband was quite supportive of her going away
to school and leaving the house --especially when he's cheating on her as that
just makes things easier for him).  The other one is in a difficult job and
looking for an escape: quitting and going to school.  She's getting lots of
encouragement and one person even responded with a "I left my marriage to
go back to school" comment.

Now, I'm a little miffed that the response to me saying "Maybe I'll go to
school" was "No! Your family! Think of your family!" and the
response to everyone else going through these changes is: "you go
girl!"

And that's the clincher:  you. go. GIRL.

I'm so grumpy this week!

My Question...

From a recent sports article...

Former Olympic hockey player
rescued after week alone in wilderness

posted February 19 @ 15:11, EST

MAMMOTH LAKES, Calif. (AP) - A former Olympic hockey player who became lost
in the Sierra Nevada wilderness survived for a week by living in a makeshift
igloo and eating pine nuts and needles.

Searchers found Eric Lemarque sprawled in the snow, conscious but barely moving.
He was unable to find his way back to Mammoth Mountain ski resort after going
out of ski-run boundaries while snowboarding alone.

"It was amazing that he survived in that cold," rescuer Joe Rousek said. "We
knew he was a hockey player, in good shape. But I don't think he'd have lasted
another night."

The 34-year-old Lemarque, who was rescued last Friday, remained hospitalized for
dehydration, hypothermia and severe frostbite to his left foot.

He was snowboarding alone Feb. 6 when "he went off the track," said his mother,
Susan Lemarque.

"When it got dark, he couldn't tell quite where he was," she said. "He continued
on down the mountain, thinking he'd find his way out."

Lemarque, a hockey coach who played for the French national team in the 1994
Olympics, relied on pine nuts and needles for food and built a crude igloo as
shelter.

His parents alerted authorities at the resort after they were unable to reach
their son by phone.

Okay, here's my question... how can someone stranded while skiing suffer from
dehydration?  Can't find any water in that snow?  That's like someone
getting locked in a grocery store over a weekend and starving to death. Or like
the so-called "All-Stars" on Survivor complaining about not having anything to
drink --and being stuck in the rain, hence, WET.

It must really blow to get lost in the wilderness and not even be able to see
the forest for the trees...

My Slow Day

It's nearing 10am and I've seen 3 people so far today.  Thank God I made
coffee this morning or I'd be in big trouble.

There are no classes on campus today or tomorrow for a "reading break"
for students.  Students put it in quotes because they say it's not
really a break as they're still busy with studying and homework.  I
put it in quotes because none of My Kids are around today as most of them have
taken off for the weekend to go skiing.  When I was a student, I used the
time to sleep in.

One of my three people this morning was of the "dude, where's my
class?" variety.  I love it when something as important as a DAY OFF
slips right by them.  The other 2 work in the restaurant in the building,
which means that whenever I order food, it may not take too long and actually be
warm for change since I'm the only one around.  Well, a slight chance
anyway.

My Big Gamble

There's an item on eBay right now that I've put a major bid on.  This is
part of My Resolutions as I'm being quite selfish spending this amount of money
on myself for a one-night event.

My wife will kill me when she finds out about it.

14 hours and 12 minutes to go and I have the highest bid.  I won't even be
awake when the auction ends at 2am tomorrow.

My Valentine

I wasn't sure just what to expect for Valentine's Day, but after a lame
birthday and a disease-ridden Christmas, the answer was: Not Much.  In
fact, I made a bet with 2 of My Kids that there was no way my wife could
surprise me for Valentine's and if she did, then I'd buy them dinner at the last
game of the season --February 28th.  They're starving students, so both
took the bet.  Sunnie wanted to call my wife, but I poo-pooed that, saying
that my wife had to surprise me on her own free will (knowing full well that
wouldn't happen).

I wanted to go to downtown Vancouver and spend the day going through shops along
Robson St. then maybe head over to a favourite Italian restaurant for
dinner.  If not that, then maybe dinner and a movie in town.

But no, my wife waits until February 13th to find a babysitter.  We get one
very last minute, so our Valentine's date consists of dinner at ABC (which is
basically a dressed-up Denny's) and then home. No movie, no nothin'!

Well, the waitress managed to spill our wine with dinner, so we didn't have to
pay, that was good.  We here home by 8pm and everyone but me were fast
asleep by 10.

How exciting.

And, no, no surprises so my starving kids will have to wait a while longer to
eat.

My Latest Visit to the Dentist

3rd time in 3 weeks I've had to go to the dentist.  That means not a
week in February has gone by without having numerous people stick their hands in
my mouth.

Sounds like a fetish.

I had a permanent filling put on the tooth that last week had the root
canal.  I also had 2 fillings put on the other side.  I hate the
freezing because I always need extra and therefore it takes forever to wear
off.  I'm drinking through a straw at dinnertime and the muscles in my lips
aren't working correctly.  I can grasp the straw with the middle of my
upper lip, but the outer edges are good for nothing, so I had a leering smirk
while trying to have a sip of ginger ale.

I was thinking as I was leaving that I have 9 months before my next check-up and
I obviously have to do everything in my power to prevent anything else from
going wrong with my teeth in those 9 months so I don't have another 3 weeks like
this.  And that's when I realize that it's no longer 9 months away, but
8-and-a-half months away.  I've already lost 2 weeks in this new goal.

I'm set already --I've brought a toothbrush and toothpaste to work to brush my
teeth after my lunch.  Why not?  I usually shower here every other day
too.

Geez, I'm strange.

My Spy

With the rumour-mill around work always working overtime on my behalf (hehe),
I decided to start another one yesterday.  I have one friend who's office
area is locked over the lunch hour, even though she's still in the area.  I
visit her every few weeks, but I have to bang on the wall in the hallways so she
can let me into the office.  I also call her Sweety, so the phone call
warning her I'm on my way is usually: "Hi Sweety, I'm on my way. Can you
get the door for me, please?"

You can imagine what happens when people overhear a one-sided conversation like
that.

So, yesterday I decided to send an email from one of the copying rooms. 
There are a few computers in those areas for faculty without enough room in
their offices (it happens).  I sat down and sent out a quick email to one
of the Co-workers From Hell stating that I'd taken care of a few requests she
had.

And that I'd be back in an hour and unreachable until then.

I sat in the lounge and read for the next hour and then had a friend tell me
that the rumours had already started.

I must be up to something if I can't be reached for an hour, right?

My Guilty Conscience Drying on the Line

Around New Year's I'd gotten an email from a 'friend' (I say friend, but
we've never met --only talked via email through our university system) voicing
her concern that her husband may be cheating on her.  Yesterday, she found
out for sure and he's left her.

And I don't what to say, except to swear a bit.

I have to feel guilty, of course, because I came so close to being in his shoes
nearly a year ago now and I have to be happy that it never got that far. 
And, yes, it would've been my fault if everything fell apart.  Yes, there
was a slight chance that something might've happened over the summer, but I was
too leery at that point and (almost) knew enough to back off completely --kind
of like I have now.

Phew.

The guilty feeling remains and now I have to think about how a similar thing has
affected a friend.

This sucks.

My Busy Philosophy (which I stole from George Costanza....)

Yeah, yeah.  I stole it from another website many, many moons ago. 
But these are important rules and I DO follow them!

George Costanza Work Rules

1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your
hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking
employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hand look
like they're

heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hands look like
they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff
home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work
longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy. Any time you
use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and
receive personal email, calculate your finances and generally have a blast
without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the
societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to

talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and
you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself
to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk. Top management can get away
with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard
enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer,
last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile
them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the
document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when
he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail. Never answer your phone if
you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you
something for nothing -- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM.
That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody
leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond
during lunch hour when you know they're not there -- it looks like you're
hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. 
If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then

returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that
the caller will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The
sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is: "Ignore my last message. I
took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it
can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to
never erase any incoming messages.  If that takes too long, send yourself a
few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this
mailbox is full" -- a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high
demand.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed. According
to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to
give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Appear to Work Late. Always leave the
office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines
and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before
leaving.  Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send
important emails at unearthly hours (e.g., 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during
public holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect. Sigh loudly
when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are very hard
pressed.

8. Stacking Strategy. It is not enough to
pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. ... Can
always borrow from library. Thick computer manuals are the best.

9. Build Vocabulary. Read up on some
computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use it freely
when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what
you say, but you

sure sound impressive.

My Sore Losers

If there's one thing I learned quite quickly with this job --it's to not bet
against my boss.  He's smart and he knows his sports, so any wagering
really means you're gonna pay.

That didn't stop a couple of My Kids from doing just that though as my boss'
favorite hockey team was in town and there's an ages-old rivalry between the
home team and the visitors.

But to bet against my boss is just a foolish thing to do.  Instead of
offering a simple win-loss bet, it was a win by 2 or more goals/ loss bet, so he
kept the upper-hand no matter what.

The wager was that the loser had to wear the winning team's jersey for an entire
day and if they failed that, then it was for 2 days.  The first kid took
the bet not acknowledging one important factor.

If my boss loses, then he wears the popular hockey jersey for a day.  If
they lose, they look like complete idiots.

And, boy, did they lose.

They wore their jerseys, but we made up signs first stating "I lost a bet.
Please don't hate me."

Poor kids.  Sore losers, but poor kids.

My Block

I've written several blogs over the past few days that just aren't complete.
I get about 75% through them and scrap 'em because I'm just not happy with them.

I'm stuck in a rut.

There's plenty happening around me right now, but for whatever reason I just
don't feel like sharing the information --which makes no sense compared to what
I've already shared.

Think.

Think.

Think.

I could talk about what I'm doing next weekend, but that just seems to be
something that will be more interesting after it's done.

Okay, here we go. A trick I used to use when writing for school.  I'm going
to check my email and see if I come up with anything.... let's call it:

My Reply (for lack of a better subject)

This is only emails I've received at work, so I'll quickly glance through
them so everyone can see the crap I get it.

*Friday, 7:06am Before I Forget...

This is from one of my Co-Workers from Hell.I need to get some pictures to
one of the basketball players today.  I can write about that story. 
I'll call it My Sore Losers.

*Friday, 7:07am RE: Pictures & Gym Reservation

Another one from the CWFH.  Six emails in response to an event held in
our building.  One email with 'yes' would suffice, of course....

*9:11am Your Boyfriend!

WHAT?!!?  Oh, it's junk mail.  Good-bye!

*9:13am RE: Toronto Life - March Issue

From one of my "school" 'mates.  She's pictured in Toronto Life
magazine and the mystery is whether or not we should be congratulating her or
not...

*9:13am An Explanation

Another schoolmmate:

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

  How come when you mix water and flour together

  you get glue......    and then you add eggs  and sugar..... and you get cake?

  How come?   WHERE did the glue go?

  You know darned well where it went!

  That's what makes the cake stick to your BUTT"

I'm speechless.  I think she's showing signs of studying too much.

*9:14am How Do I Love Thee?

More junk mail, but I feel loved....

*9:14am Stealth Tribes

A writer in England letting me know when his next book will be released. 
Sounds quite cool.

*9:23am Cut Over Bread

Another junk message, but I've started looking at these ones and playing
word association games, so.... Cut-slice, Over-under, bread-water.  Hmm,
not bad!

*10:14am Lava Lamp

I thought it was more junk, but another schoolmate, recommending putting a
lavalamp on your desk at work to look busy thinking about things (watching the
lava, really).  I'll have to dig out My Busy Philosophy and post it.

*10:14am Hockey Reminder

Ah, my hockey pool.  Last year I won the regular season and the
playoffs out of the gang at work.  This year nothing's going right. 
I'm in 5th of 9 people and can't catch the 4 people in front of me.  Dammit!!

And, apparently that's it for email this morning.  I'll have to wait and
see what happens in the office this afternoon.

Time to get ready for work.

My Pissy Mood

Geez, get a weekend of sleep in me and I come back with an attitude. 
Saturday night, one of my Co-Workers From Hell (F-Bomb to be precise) made a
mistake and it resulted in a fine for our department.  It' embarrassing as
anything because lots of people know it happened.  

F-Bomb bombed.

But the really big problem is that F-Bomb never does anything wrong.  She
was quick to blame it on someone else, as she told me in a phone call on
Sunday.  I don't like that. So, it was a big mistake.  Face up to it,
for God's sake.  If you go around blaming everyone else for your mistakes,
people catch on.  You only prove that you aren't trustworthy because you
never been able to learn from those mistakes.

Even worse, F-Bomb's been dropping comments about confidential material left,
right, and centre for the better part of the past two weeks.  We're
starting to get a little sick of it.

So today I was gearing up for coming into work and lo and behold my Co-Workers
From Hell were already at full-tilt by the time I walked through the
doors.  But I couldn't tell if they'd actually accomplished anything
today.  The whiny one had a list of things for me to hand over to My Kids,
but they were all things she's responsible for handling.  Nope, doesn't
work that way and they're here for her tomorrow too.  There were a couple
of other items that she didn't get around to that I handled as it would bug me
all night if they stayed they way they are.  Can't have that.  Also
can't handle how I'm the only one here who knows the company policies on
issues.  Very frustrating when I have to keep reciting them on a daily
basis.

F-Bomb hadn't quite left the office when she laid into one of My Kids about the
fines.  That's even lower than I expected her to go and she got to hear
about it from me from the office all the way to the parking lot.  My boss
watched from his office window and motioned me to come in once I returned to the
building.  He wasn't exactly displeased with me, but was curious why I'd
reacted to her lecture to one of My Kids.  I explained what the problem was
and how F-Bomb had reacted to it (including the Sunday phone call).  and
how I won't stand for it when she takes it out on someone who shouldn't be
responsible for that kind of thing in the first place.

Things got better after that. I was on a roll finding errors and boo-boos by
other people and making sure they were corrected.

but, boy, was I in a pissy mood today.

My Quote of the Week

"The weird thing is, even though it's natural, sex can make us
uncomfortable. But if we work at it, we can get beyond that discomfort. 
And realize that sex can actually be a comfort.  Sex can even be a cure. 
How do I know all this? Because no one understands how important sex is better
than someone who isn't having any."  --Scrubs, episode 303.

Beautiful.

My Happy Moment

2 people on Sunday noticed that I've lost weight.  I'm feeling good.

I need a belt with all my pants and actually wore a pair I'd bought just before
my wife & I married nearly 8 years ago.

I'm only down 10 pounds, but it's showing....

My Pictures are Confused

Friday was an extremely busy day at work and I honestly was unsure just when
I was finally going to get home. With just an hour's sleep in 30 hours and
progressing towards 36 hours without sleep by the time my shift was over, I was
dragging my feet something fierce.

I knew sleep wasn't in the plans for Friday night since my Mother was in town
and we were having dinner before she flew home.  It was getting close to
quitting time when I had some last-minute photocopying to do and, as a finicky
task with all sorts of odds-and-ends to do, I went to the main photocopying
room.

And you know you know someone too well when you recognize the sound of their
walk --even after all this time.

So February 6th was my first conversation of the year with Sex Caffeine.

I heard her coming down the hall and knew better than to look up as she walked
by the window.  I was hoping that maybe if I looked busy, she'd pass right
on by and ignore me.  Alas, she rapped on the glass so I had to look up and
wave.

Fortunately, just as she was walking into the copy room, so did one of the
coaches who'd been hunting me down before I left for the day.  I was
getting the copies ready for him, so I had an excuse to ignore her.  Not
that it worked, really.  She squeezed my arm as she walked by.  She
also paused as she did it.  Let's just say my investment in the personal
trainer has had results already.

But I didn't and don't want to go there.  The game starts anew... now.

My old boss, a semi-evil, old semi-hag of a woman whom I had a lot of respect
and admiration for until about July of this year walked into the room and
cornered SC while I was walking to the coach.  Fine by me.  It was
helping the avoidance.  The old boss, Big Mama, nearly pushed me out of the
way to get to SC, which is to be expected of her.

See, earlier in the day, I had a coffee with another old co-worker from that
department, let's call him 'Withnail' (get it?), and he filled me in on all the
dirt and goings-on.

It turns out Big Mama has burned a few too many bridges over the past few months
and put the entire department's existence in jeopardy.  It means that 10 of
12 people will be out of a job possibly as soon as May.  Another reason I'm
glad to be out of there.

I don't miss it and that's exactly what I told SC when we inevitably did talk a
few minutes later.  I didn't tell her what I knew, but as good as it made
me feel (to be out of there), I also felt bad for her.  Especially for her.

And that muddles things.  Again.

One of the things that caused me to come to the realization that I was a stupid
ass the first time around with SC was a scene from 'Bruce Almighty':

BRUCE:

If I could have just one thing in the world. It would be for Graceto live a
happy, joyful life. And that she finds someone...(getting emotional as he
realizes what he's saying) ...that she finds someone that will treat her with
the love and respect that she so deserves.

GOD:

Now that is a prayer.

SC deserves someone like that and deserves to be happy in her
life and it took me the longest time to realize it can't be me. Yes, I may get
confused every once in a while, but I just have to keep reminding myself that
there were really uncomfortable times and I don't want to go through that again.

Friday night, I had dinner with my mother and my family.  I came home and
sat down on the couch to continue with my life.

And slept.

My Prescription

www.thephobialist.com lists
Pharmacophobia as a Fear of taking medicine and/or the Fear of drugs.  I
wonder if I have that.  I can take cough syrup and things like that, but
sometimes prescription drugs (such as sleeping pills, etc.) worry me.  I
have a fear of getting an addiction because I think I'm susceptible to addictive
things.  I know my mother was addicted to sleeping pills a few years back
and somehow I'm the only one in my family not to be --at some stage in life-- a
heavy smoker.  I think my mother quit when I was around 6 years of age. My
father quit when I was 18 (he quit cold turkey the day he retired). My sister
smokes 3 packs a day, just like her husband.  I feel sorry for my nephew.I
was a Coca Cola addict (but now cut back to 2 cans a week).  I used to have
a gambling fixation (but now just get a lottery ticket when it hits $5 million
of more).  My worst one (and cost me a job once) was an addiction to the
excitement of opening a pack of trading cards.  Seriously!  I worked
in a trading card shop and saw how excited people got when they'd open a pack
and find the card they were looking for or some special card or signed
card.  I loved it.

One Christmas, I had bought a pack of cards at a gas station and got a card
worth nearly $100.  Working in a card shop, I sold it to a customer (and
was nice enough to give my boss a 20% 'finder's fee' for letting me sell it in
the store).  A friend came in looking for the last few cards in this set
and told me he'd been buying packs at the nearby 7-11.  I told him we most
likely had all the card he needed so to stop wasting money on the packs. 
Coincidentally, I was in the 7-11 that week and noticed there was one pack left
in the box.  I bought it and sold a signed card from the box for $400 2
weeks later.  So I had, between the two cards, an extra $400 spending money
that Christmas.

But the addiction started that Christmas and I found myself testing my luck for
the next year or so.  It wasn't until the following Christmas that I first
realized my problem when I'd had a quiet night and with a new shipment of
product in, found myself opening nearly $300 in packs (and got nowhere near that
in saleable items).  But then it became a daily fix and I couldn't stop
myself.  It was a bad Christmas for sales and in January I found myself (my
co-worker too) out of work.  I loved that job and it took me nearly a full
year to find any confidence in working again.  And it was a good way to cut
cold turkey.

But now I'm having people tell me to get some sleeping pills.  That I need
them to get back to sleep. 13 hours' sleep from Sunday night to Thursday night
is entirely unacceptable and I know it's true.

But I don't want to take sleeping pills.

Alberta has told me there's an herbal supplement that may help, so I'm going to
look for that instead and hope it's not addictive. 

My Love of Sleep

I got about an hour's sleep about 6:30pm yesterday.  I had a meeting at
7 and knew I'd need a coffee to get through at least a portion of it.  I
had a report to give and found out when I got there, they'd pushed me back on
the agenda from my traditional 'Item #3' spot to 'Item #6' which meant it would
be well after 9pm before I gave my report.  Then it became #7 when they
added an additional report before mine (and they were all heavy discussion
issues).

Even worse was the first report on a new policy regarding funding for special
projects.  It's been a project of its own for about 6 months now and the
final copy was ready for approval.  And then the discussion started. 
45 minutes later, nearly every line of policy had been altered --some more than
once.  One of the guys pointed out that there was no yearly limitation to
the numbers of projects allowable written in the policy.  Traditionally, we
only approve one of these special projects every other year.  Before anyone
else had an opportunity to speak about that I added my opinion:  Based on
how long our discussion on the policy is taking, it will take us more than a
year to approve any projects anyway, so why waste even more time writing that
in?

One of the reports submitted before mine began with a comment of how I kept
checking my watch throughout the meeting (well, yeah!) and therefore he was
going to keep it short (light applause from me).  While he wrapped up his
report and we moved on to the next one (with mine following), I looked over at
the calendar to check the date for my next report update due date.  One of
the meeting members noticed me looking at the calendar and asked me if I was
giving up on wondering what hour we were getting out of the meeting and now
looked to see what day we would be leaving.  'It couldn't hurt!' I replied.

I hate indecisiveness and these meetings are brimming with it.  Yes, I'm
being more vocal about it, but I'm bloody tired!!  They wanted me to chair
the meetings until I threatened that they wouldn't convene until we'd reached a
decision on any item brought on the agenda to the meeting.

As it was, I got home just before 11pm.  And my initial thought was to
watch Survivor.  I got through it okay, but started to fall asleep on the
couch.  I had prepared for that 'just in case' and put my alarm clock on
the coffee table.

And then my wife woke me up to come to bed.  And I never got back to
sleep.  So, I've had just over an hours' sleep in the past 30 hours.

I miss sleeping.

Tonight, we have dinner plans with my Mom who's flying home tomorrow
morning.  It's an hour's drive to the restaurant.  Could be a late
night....

My Gripe Continues

So approx. 2,000 students protested tuition increases yesterday in
Vancouver.  Still angry about the potential for increases for the third
year in row (sigh), students let everyone within shouting distance know their
plight.

Meanwhile, across town, news was breaking that the University of British
Columbia had begun manipulating class sizes to improve their rating in a
national magazine's annual university ranking issue.  One student
representative spoke out about the issue --not pointing out that it's plainly
ignorant for a western university for care more about the opinions of an eastern
magazine than their own staff, faculty, and students-- but about the pressing
need for more classes and more teaching faculty.

And therein lies the rub. And the obvious failing of the Economics department.

In order to have more classes and more teachers, there needs to be
more money to pay for it all.  And who's asking for more?  The
students.

If this message fails to get through to students, I'll put it another way:

Next time you got to McDonald's and order Big Mac, complain about 2 things.
First, why was there the one cashier helping you instead of two?  Second,
Big Macs used to sell for 99-cents why don't they anymore?

My Deprivation

I was discounting Monday's lack of sleep on readjusting to my swing shift at
work. There's a huge difference between starting at 7am and starting at
2:30pm.  When I work the later shift, I'm usually awake until 2 in the
morning or later (earlier? whatever...). When I work the early shift, it takes
at least the first day to readjust to the schedule --meaning I'm exhausted on
Monday night and off to bed by 10pm or so.

And I've been good about going to bed at 10-10:30 this week, but I'm not falling
asleep until 11:30 and then I'm awake by 3am.

It's beginning to annoy me. It's been 4 nights in a row and I'm on maybe 14
hours' sleep whereas I should be getting around 32.

and now that I'm in the office, I'm starting to yawn. Only 7 and a half hours to
go 'til it's time to leave.  And I have a meeting to go to tonight that
most likely will wrap up by 11pm...

And I'm going to make it through the day too.

My Annoying Habit with Tables

Awright the last post looked horrible when it was published to the Blog. 
Not everything works the way you want it to. So much so, I've deleted the table...

My Gripe

University and College students across British Columbia are
holding rallies today to protest upcoming tuition fee increases. 
Tuition fees are expected to rise again this year by approximately
35%.  Currently, the national average for university-colleges and
colleges is just over $134 per credit.  In British Columbia, the
highest per credit tuition rate is slightly over $120.  The highest
rate.

All post-secondary institutions went through nearly a decade of a tuition
freeze which caused numerous layoffs (which continue to this day) of
support staff.  What that meant was that although students arrived at
their institution, the number of people able to help them declined. 
Ten years ago, the ratio of students to faculty and staff here was
3:1.  At the end of the tuition freeze it was 6:1 and now, after 2
years of rate hikes, the ratio is more like 7.5:1.

Now, see, where I go to school (not in British Columbia), tuition has
increased approx. 10% every year, which doesn't seem like much.  so,
I decided to see a comparison of a 10% annual increase from 1991 to 2004
in another Province compared to what's happened in British Columbia.  First off, let's assume that in 1991, students paid $50 per
credit in tuition.  In British Columbia, that was frozen for just
over a decade (illustrating a point --I'm quite sure it was just under a
decade).  In other provinces, let's assume it's increased annually by
10%.

BC's tuition would rise from $50 in 1991 to $118.46 in 2004(with a 30% increase
in 2002, 35% in 2003, and another 35% in 2004).  The 'other' province would
go from $50 in 1991 to $189.87 in 2004.

And, lo, BC's tuition rate for next year is slightly higher
than the 'other' province's rate in 1999. The other province sees an
increase of 280% in the timeframe and BC sees a 137% increase and the
students are crying.

Fine. Cry.

What students are learning here, aside from a little math ;) , is a life
application.  Inflation exists - get used to it. 

And this reminds me of something else of importance that I think
students need to learn these days:

Regardless of whether or not you accept it, NO is an answer just as often as
YES.

Students can cry and whine that they're not being treated fairly, but they
fail to see that post-secondary institutions in BC have failed to attract higher
quality faculty in the past decade because they can't afford to pay current
salaries based on their budgets.  Instead, they're hiring the people who
able to attract an offer from a higher paying institution. So, if your prof got
his Doctorate at a low-ranked institution, then the quality of their education
will reflect yours.  Education at a top university reflects a top-rated
education for the student.  In essence:

You get what you pay for.

I'm so sick of the whining about what students have to face these days when
we've all been there.  I see it this way, thanks to Edmund Blackadder of
the beautiful Black Adder series:

"I, however, am a well-rounded individual with a degree
from the University of Life, my diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and
three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me."

Which leaves us with one more important lesson for the day (thanks this
time to Denis Leary):

Life Sucks. Get a Fucking Helmet.

My Tuesdays in February

Aw crap.

Went to the dentist yesterday, my third visit in the past 18 months. 
Before that, I took a 10-year break.  It's called living independently,
with no dental coverage.  That's just the way it is.

For 10 years, I had no problems with my teeth. Nothing. But when I finally had a
dental plan through work, my wife insisted I go back and see a dentist. My old
dentist, although still around, had a really nasty hygienist whom we nicknamed
'the Inquisitor' for amount of pain he put you through.  My gums would ache
for days afterward --but hey, I had clean teeth. But after 10 years, I had fears
as to how long my teeth would hurt afterward and made the decision to go
somewhere else.  Besides, 10 years of consuming coffee had begun to leave a
bit of a stain on one of my teeth and I'd always liked my smile beforehand (got
me into many a hotel room in Scotland after all). It wasn't too bad, but the
x-rays showed 3 cavities. I made another appointment and had all 3 fillings done
in one visit. My first mistake.  My second was my choice of dentists, an
older man.  He drilled too deep on one of the teeth, hitting the nerve and
caused all sorts of pain.  10 years with no pain, return to a dentist and
now there's PAIN!!!!  That tooth is still sensitive 18 months later. 
The other thing that had never happened before was the fillings continuously had
debris falling off of them for about 2 weeks afterward.  Very uncomfortable
feeling.

So, needless to say, I decided to wait for my next appointment.  My dental
plan only covers a regular check up every 9 months anyway, so I had an excuse to
delay it as long as possible, but then when my appointment got nearer, I came
down with a nasty head cold.  The last thing I wanted to do when my head
felt about 4 times larger than normal (and with my ego that's really saying
something) was go see the dentist.  I cancelled and it turned out I
couldn't get another appointment for 4 months.  Needless to say, I forgot
about it until my wife reminded me.  And, yes, I have another nasty head
cold dammit!

I went anyway and with the exception of one poke to get rid of a little stain in
front (a green stain --which means I'm taking too much iron --how do you cut
that?!!?!) everything seemed to be fine.  That is, until the dentist
arrived.

But it was a young woman who came over to shake my hand.  Apparently, she
bought the practice just last week and is taking over from the older dentist I
saw 18 months earlier.

so, she takes a look in my mouth and asks about the stain. It came off with a
little poking and prodding and polishing, but it was still something of
interest.  She then pointed out that I may have a couple of small cavities
and there's one filling that's partially broken and it looks like there's decay
underneath.  she wanted it checked 'just in case' and the hygienist broke
out the x-ray machine.

Sure enough, there's plenty of decay and I go in next week for a root
canal.  I've heard nothing but horror stories when it comes to root canals
(my wife had to have one about 4 years ago when the older dentist did some
fillings and one became infected.  She was in major pain for weeks with
that one.  I'm not looking forward to it, but something about this new
dentist makes me feel better.

See, with a new dentist comes new education and techniques.  Older dentists
mean old school ideas and not much in the way of progressive practices.  A
new dentist may just mean that it's going to be as bad and the fact that I'm
getting a root canal on a tooth that has never hurt also means that it won't
hurt as much.

But the thought of a root canal next Tuesday (and 2 fillings --dammit!!-- the
following Tuesday ) also meant I barely slept last night.

I'm lucky if I've had 9 hours' sleep this week.

My Head Cold

Is there some rule that says if your throat hurts and you have a sinus
headache then everyone in existence has to drop by your office to ask questions
or phone you up?

God, my voice is almost gone.

Can you imagine if I couldn't type as well?  What the Hell would I do all
day?  It's quiet here at the moment, but there's no way that it will last.

My head hurts too.

This morning I woke from a dream where this big bully was playing with my alarm
clock confusing me as to what time it was and whether or not I was sleeping in
or getting up before my alarm.  I woke up and the glow was gone from my
clock, so I tried to go back to sleep, but kept thinking I should get up just
in case.  I didn't and tossed and turned for quite some time.  I
finally made my way around the bed to check the alarm clock and I had 20 minutes
to go before the alarm would go off.

I couldn't go out to the kitchen to "check" because that would ensure
the alarm would ring while I was out of bed and totally annoy my 'morning
person' of a wife. Talk about Hell hath no fury...

Whenever I get up before my alarm goes off I have a bad day.  I think it's
a mix of bad karma and my feeling of being bloody confrontational.  There's
nothing worse than getting an early morning reminder saying, "you could be
waking up right now!"

Even worse, though, is that Alberta has bailed on our diet plan.  I'm on it
alone now and it's going to be a problem.  I need her policing to guarantee
I'm eating the right foods.

And my wife just called to remind me I have a dentist's appointment right after
work today.

I can't wait until Midnight...

My Funny...

Ok, stop me if you've heard this one.

Sunday's Super Bowl was filled with mixed emotions. 

New England won the Super Bowl, but Janet Jackson lost the Cup.

My Boob Job

Alright, enough furor over Janet's boob.  Look closely:

Hello?  That's a pasty.  It's one of those things that women wear to cover up their nipples. Why would she need to cover up her nipple if it was already covered by her clothing?  Hmmm, let me see: It's a friggin' gimmick, people!! The only thing she's after is publicity.  Let's take it away from Michael (for a minute maybe) and focus on Janet's boob. It's a pasty!  She has a new album coming out!! Justin hasn't been this close to a fake breast in a while!! What was he doing anyway?  Was it part of the act that he was supposed to grab her breast in the first place and the Velcro on his jacket just so happened to shear off a cup?

Ah, there's nothing better than High Definition TV.  At least the
Lingerie Bowl was interesting.

Besides, let's face it.  If there was any nudity for Super Bowl Sunday it had to be this man:
	Oh yeah.  Richard's Package returns for Survivor All-Star. I'm rootin' for Jenna to return to... form later in the series.

Gotta love TV in February.... talk about your boob job.

My Disney Disgust

Somehow staying in all weekend meant watching Disney movie after Disney
movie.  That sucks big time.

I'm not a big fan of Disney movies ever since I saw Beauty and the Beast in the
theatre and had some woman behind me pick up her kid and swing him around to
take him out of the theatre.  Sadly, my head was in the way of his feet. 
My ear was bleeding when I left the theatre.

When I saw Aladdin, I walked out and asked for my money back since the 2 women
sitting behind me wouldn't shut up (more about My Movie Experiences later...). 
It's one thing to pay to see a movie, but quite another to pay to have your kids
see a movie and you the opportunity to talk to your friends.  Drop the kids
off at the theatre and hit a McDonald's for God's sake!

But Disney is now an evil corporation to me.  I've read all the Grimm's
Fairy Tales, so I hate how Disney cleaned up their stories (such as Cinderella's
stepsisters --one of them had her eyes gouged out by crows, y'know).  But
aisde form that, now it's the blatant "we can make another buck or 40 off this
media engine" that's shucking out sequels faster than their sweathouse animators
can draw.  I mean, The Lion King 1 & 1/2?  Please!  And, of
course, my daughter can't wait to see it.

I finally succumbed and rewarded my daughter to her first movie experience with
Finding Nemo last Fall.  I was reluctant to go simply because I feared for
my ears and figured something weird was bound to happen.  And it did.

Some woman sitting in the same row decided she needed to hit the bathroom (too
bad she stunk of cigarettes when she got back --just admit you're a smoker it's
all the same disdain whether we know it or smell it!).  So, she tells her
kid to stay with me (ME!!?!?!?) while she's away.  This girl, younger than
my daughter, parks her self in my lap and starts asking for candy.

That's. Just. Wrong.

Even more wrong was the animated Pixar short at the beginning of the movie: 'Knick Knack'.  We have this on video at home from its' original release back in the early 1990s and Disney 'cleaned' it up as well.  See, the bikini women on some of the knick knacks were kind of... bosomy.  And Disney gave them the ultimate breast reduction so much so that I was self-conscious of having more to fit into a bikini than these animated characters. Imagine what they'd do to Jessica Rabbit if they got a hold of her!

But I digress...

This weekend I ended up watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean' which is an okay
movie.  There are some frightening scenes which had they been expanded upon
would've made the movie great.  Johnny Depp was definitely the highlight of
the movie, though.  I got stuck watching 'The Lion King' on DVD with my
daughter.  And this is the new extended (good Lord no!!) version with an
all-new song.  I thought the songs were just stuck into this movie in the
first place and this extra song just makes that more blatant. Then, it was time
to watch 'Holes' which I actually enjoyed, but I think I wore out the batteries
on my VCR remote fast-forwarding through the whole Lion King trailer/commercial
and the following ones as well.  Took about 15 minutes to get to the movie. 
I much prefer DVDs where you hit one button and skip all the damn previews. 
Then, to make matters worse, my wife insisted I spend more time with my daughter
and my wife flips on... 102 Dalmations.

Words can't describe how bad this movie is... But I'll give it a shot:

Gerard Depardieu
stars as a male model!!

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

I'm looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.

My Song

I hate having part of a song stuck in my head.  My preference is to sit
down and listen to the complete song so that if I'm going to hum it the rest of
the day I can remember more than 5 frickin' words in the song.

So, today I had to sit down and listen to the song.  About 1:30 into the
song is the lyrics I keep humming over and over.

And 5 times I made it to 1:29 before getting interrupted.  And 4 more times
I almost made it through the entire song.

The 10th time was the charm and it only took me from 2:00pm until 9:30pm to do
it.

Seven and a half hours to listen to a 5-minute song.  Ridiculous.

My Book

Y'know... there's nothing quite as aggravating as being sick and
awake at 2:45 in the morning.  Well, one thing is more aggravating. Being
on page 589 of a 602-page book.

I bought this for me for Christmas and is only unusual because I bought a
hardcover book instead of a paperback.  In fact, I'd only planned on
getting a little something for light reading, but when I saw this book I had to
get it instead.  Technically, it's the 8th book in a series, but according
to the author it's the first of a 2-book series --that just happens to coincide
with the other 7 books.

The thing is, this book just came out before Christmas and I got a 1st edition
copy signed by the writer at 30% off the cover price.  Sweet!  But
since it's brand new I have to wait close to 2 years before the next book is
out.

And I realized that 2:45 this morning.

So, I had a choice... I could slowly read the remaining pages over the next few
weeks and hold on to the hope that the writer is well on his way to finishing
the next part of the story

or

Do what I did.  Satyed up 'til 3 and finished it.

I hope it doesn't take until 2006 for the next part.