My Coming Weekend

We're having a big dinner to end the season on April 3rd.  Right now,
there's about 300 people planning on being there.  My boss has asked me not
to be too involved with everything going on, which is super-fine by me.  If
anything goes wrong, then it's not my fault either!  The Co-Workers From
Hell are both upset about this as any problems fall right back on them.

But I've been egging them on as well.  Each of us is allowed to bring a
guest and --me being me-- I've only said I'm bringing someone with me but not
who it is.  One guy thinks it's my old flame Brenda.  F-Bomb seriously
thinks I'm bringing Sex Caffeine.  Another guy is really jealous thinking I'm bringing Alberta.  Whiner doesn't know what to think. And
I've decided to add some hints and names here and there.

But who's missing from the list?

Yep, my wife.

But with the way she's been treating me as of late, I'm almost tempted to tell
her that she's not coming with me.  I'll have to make a decision by
Wednesday.  It is quite tempting to ask Sex Caffeine what she has planned
for Saturday night.