Sunday, March 25, 2007

The One About Depression

'Sky' 'Dreama' or whatever she's going by these days mentioned that I might be depressed after I commented that people say I'm never happy. I've never considered myself depressed, but then I also finally acknowledged that there are things that I'm really not happy about. But does unhappiness mean depressed?

I took a couple of online quizzes (my way of getting a second opinion) just to "see" what the results were.

OK, I'm moderately depressed.

In some ways, I'm not surprised at all. I've been writing this post over a few days (when I have time, that is) and I'm trying to be more aware of my feelings and.... anxieties as life flows around me.

And, no, having Idiot Boy show up at work isn't helping.

We'll see where I am in a little while, I guess.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The One About Roadworthy Songs

So, a roadworthy song is one that you enjoy listening to anytime you're in the car. I've got a bunch... 'Rocks' by Primal Scream, 'Window in the Sky' by U2, 'Music for a Found Harmonium' by the Penguin Cafe Orchestra, 'Ahead by a Century' by the Tragically Hip. Good songs. The type that make you feel a bit more relaxed and ready to drive a little faster and enjoy the open road.

One of those CDs took a frustrated flight across my car yesterday. There's no way to relax, drive a little faster, and enjoy the open road when the car in front of me goes 20 km/h less than the speed limit, slows down whenever a side road intersects the highway, and then speeds up again.

My kingdom for a passing lane.

The One With The Impending Return of 'Idiot Boy'

For those of you reading this blog for a while may recall, a majority of my school time was hindered because of 'Idiot Boy.'

Idiot Boy was the one who got lost and confused in every class and slowed everything down to a snail's pace. Idiot Boy was the one who stopped a project because he couldn't do simple math. Idiot Boy was the one who broke 'Brain Age' because he thought 4x4 was a single digit answer.

On Wednesday, Idiot Boy told one of my former classmates (and current co-worker) that he starts in the same department next week.

Then my team lead informed us that our team quintuples --next week. I nearly threw up.

And Wednesday night, the job hunt started again. Oh, I have confidence he'll be fired fairly quickly, but I never want to see him again.

Never. Again.

The One About Finally Understanding

I promised when I last 'signed off' that I wouldn't talk about "work" or at least about my new job.

One of the reasons behind that is I've always detested people saying I'm never happy. I got that a lot with my old job (From Hell! --get it?) and I always hated hearing that. I never thought it was true.

So, how does a guy write about a job (From Hell!) for nearly 2 years and not acknowledge that maybe other people are right and that I'm not happy?

Maybe I do it right now.

See, I'm talking about my new job right now and of course there's negatives to it that I didn't foresee when I wrote out the PROs and CONs. And, yes, I could really focus on those at the moment and write a multitude of paragraphs on crazy things and empty promises.

But I won't.

This message is just stating that I got up on Friday morning and realized I'm not happy, I'm never happy, and chances are I won't be happy --ever. Yep, any job will pile it on and situation totally out of my control will frustrate me, but that's just who I am. If I can learn to deal with it, then maybe I'll find a medium --a happy medium or not, but still a balance.

Still, this isn't stopping me from looking elsewhere (closer to home) for work. But that's another story.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The One With The Lazy Updates

I did one of these in early February, and thought I'd do another one. This is most likely the last week in some time that I get any breathing time with work starting up next week. Wow! Hard to believe it's finally happened!

I found out today that one of my classmates starts in the same office a week later than me. There's a small chance we'll be working on the same project... unless the offer from the smaller company comes through.... more on that later.

So, here's the quote from the last message of similar theme:
This one's all about some itemizing, so maybe at the end of the year I can look and see where I was at the time. These items are broken down like this: Reads (books currently on the go), Watches (what TV shows are doing it for me right now), Plays (which games I'm currently playing the computer and/or game console), & Works (ignore the irony that this is the last 'item'. What I'm doing right now to make money or other important projects).
So, here we go again!

Reads: I read through Mitch Albom's 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven' in a single afternoon. I'd already seen the movie, but still found the book emotional. He's a decent writer to be sure. Since then, I've moved onto a more historical book, 'The Far Farers' by... I just forgot her name.... oops. I also borrowed some technical books from the library to upgrade some of my techie skills (not working very well, though!).

Watches: I watched 4 episodes of Battlestar Galactica today. I know I'm still behind, though. I heard a vicious rumor that this was going to be the final season for 'BG' which was both upsetting, annoying, and somehow not surprising. I'm sure it's an expensive show to make, it's got a very large ensemble cast (and some big names too!), and even the original series didn't last as long. But it's sssoooooo good! It would be a shame to lose it! Now that February sweeps are done, some shows seem to be 'done' too. Grey's Anatomy is back in repeats. Studio 60 vanished from the airwaves. Fortunately, Studio 60 was replaced by The Black Donnellys which I'm enjoying very much. Kate Mulgrew is likable as the Mother of the family, unlike her role in Voyager where she was a poor leader on a poor show! The usual shows are the usual shows....

Plays: Over the past few weeks, my game playing has pretty much ground to a halt. The game I was completely addicted to on a daily basis is now a 2-3 hour log-in/log-out schedule a couple days a week. There's been some serious background issues with the development company and it's disillusioned me about the potential quality (and the ongoing quality) of the game. I still have games sitting in boxes and remaining un-installed, but just haven't been compelled to try them yet.

Works: I was quite surprised on a visit to a local liquidation shop to see some sought-after hobby product sitting on their shelves. Usually selling about $4-$5 a piece, they were in-store for 50-cents a piece. I bought a bunch and onto eBay they went!

And then they didn't sell.

So, oh well.... The eBay plan I started working on for a March 1st beginning didn't happen on time and my plan was to get it going instead for April 1. Depending on where I'm working as of Monday, that might not be possible and I've put a lot of effort into doing this for basically nothing. Or at least, nothing yet.

Official work starts Monday, most likely. I've accepted the offer from the big company. As 'Dreama' told me, they were the only offer on the table. There's another potential opportunity coming up too, but I'm a little leery to look into it despite the higher pay (about $200 a week more). I know there's no opportunity for advancement through that company!

The company that had the most 'Pros' when I made my list on the weekend has expressed interest in me and despite my "threat" (more like I uttered a comment) they've told me they'll let me know where I stand in their eyes by the end of the week. I'd still prefer that work over what I'm going to start on Monday, but that being said. I'm still totally excited about going to work in less than a week! No more job-hunt... well, sort of.

Monday, March 12, 2007

The One With the Really Good Monday

I've been gearing up for a big eBay sell-off and, ironically, it meant buying up a bunch of things off "the 'Bay" in order to make my stuff look better. I had a couple tricks up my sleeve for the good ol' "buy low, sell high" strategy.

Today's mailbox was so stuffed with... stuff... that it was actually bulging out from the wall. It looked kinda cool and I was like a kid on Christmas morning as I tore through the envelopes.

There were a couple other pieces of mail as well that I basically ignored as I went through everything. But that's when I saw the logo.

It was from my insurance company.

After 5 months, they have finally concluded their investigation and have found me 0% at fault. Yep, for the exact reasons I told them in October, they've now spent thousands of dollars investigating to come to the same conclusion. And, according to the arbitrator, the Google maps helped immensely!

So, I have $350 coming my way in about a week or so. Yay!!

I've also finally made a decision on the job front. Despite having more "con's" compared to the other, I've decided the best action for me to take is with the big company. A big company means some job security and growth potential that may or may not exist with a new company just starting up. That being said, and decided upon, I've still done everything that the new company asked of me and now if they turn me down, it's not a let-down.

If they offer me a job.... That's just a hurdle for further down the road :)

Friday, March 09, 2007

The One About Making a Choice --If I Had to Choose

I honestly figured by today I'd be applying for any job I saw in the paper, regardless of potential, career, or happiness. Things were far too quiet on the job hunt front and even acts of desperation were getting me "no thanks" in reply.

Suddenly, I got hit with a company wanting to talk to me about working for them.

'Them' is overrated here as it's a new venture and is still in initial start-up and a very, very small team. So far.

However, something about my work "intrigued them" and I guess I left them wanting more --or at least clarification in what it is that I do. Yeah, it's a little funny and a little disconcerting to think that after 5 months of applying within such a specialized industry, someone's come along and asked me to clarify what I do.

"And what do you want me to do?" is apparently not the right answer to that question. But, c'mon, I'm desperate for work here!

So, I have the mega-fantastic very enthusiastic phone interview and things look up as he wants to meet in person and discuss things further. I like that and can't wait to meet him.

In the meantime, someone who called me about a job months ago suddenly calls me up again. I was their #2 guy and the #1 just pooped out on them. So, the day before my interview with the new company, I'm headed into Vancouver for another interview with the mega-company.

Crazy.

OK, it's crazy, but things are about to get crazier. See, after yesterday's interview (which was an odd set of questions, followed by some computer testing), they actually offered me the job. Yep, you read that right. I've been officially offered a job. I have 'til Monday to accept their offer.

Cut to my next meeting with the new company. No, not really offering me a job --yet. But it sounds like he likes what I'm saying & seeing about their production and he just needs the weekend or maybe a few days longer to decide if I'm the guy he wants in the role.

So, now I need to make a decision by Monday.

I've said before (who can count how many times) that it really bugs me when people can't make a decision. Good or bad, jut make the decision already! And now I'm in the boat for a decision that affects my life, my family's life, and the life of virtually everyone around me. So, time for the good ol' Pro's & Con's...

Mega-Company Pro's:
  1. Stable company, so no chance of it shutting down/layoffs.
  2. Major project with some credit by the end.
  3. Gets my name in an established company.
  4. Supervisor role for me.
Mega-Company Con's:
  1. Big mega-company, so I'm just a small cog in a very, very large machine.
  2. Has the potential for extremely long hours, which means I don't get to see my family.
  3. Pay isn't great.
  4. Fairly long commute which eats into my income with insurance and fuel costs.
  5. No time for eBay, Dr. Jones!!
  6. Contract position with no promise of promotion or career longevity.
Small Company Pro's:
  1. I'll be part of a creative idea and not just a cog.
  2. Potential for promotion.
  3. Telecommuting, which means my family actually sees me!
  4. Telecommuting also means there's time for eBay (Dr. Jones!)
  5. Pay should be more, but could be less.
  6. Commuting once or twice a month has little effect on my budget.
  7. Potential to learn new things.
  8. Understanding boss with similar values/beliefs (nice change of pace!)
Small Company Con's:
  1. Small company which may not exist a year from now.
  2. Pay could be less.
  3. My name will be out there, but will it have an impact?
  4. Potentially could challenge me beyond my skill levels (already hinted at during the 2nd interview)
I can't think of any more con's.

My choice is looking fairly clear. And I still have until Monday to add to the lists.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

The One About the Postcard Friend

I've mentioned umpteen billion times in the past that I've been playing a joke on my best friend for almost 4 years already. People in different countries around the world send him postcards with nothing to very little (and very obscure) written on them. The latest one was from Africa (Lions of the Serengeti) with a note to a nickname he had just after high school.

I've talked face-to-face with my best friend once in the past 6 years. We email every once in a while, but it goes no further than that because our schedules are in almost complete opposition to one another. Think of it this way: He's never met my 3 1/2 year old son.

Crazy.

In my latest move as a "devoted friend," (I'll explain some other time) I discovered recently that his childhood hero is going to be in town this weekend. Naturally, it's a horrible weekend for me that now also has a couple extra meetings, a job interview, and my niece's Christening. It is, however, giving me a small window to get together and catch up with my best friend . And what better way to do it than by heading in to see his hero?

Hopefully, I'll have more on this after the weekend.

The One with the Unexpected Phone Call

Within moments of getting my latest "thanks but no thanks" for the last interview (darn!), I got a call from a company I'd applied to in early February wanting to set up a phone interview.

I'm not a fan of phone interviews, nor am I a phan of fone interviews... get it? Oh, never mind.

But I've done my little research things on them, so we decided to talk to one another again this morning. See, I really liked that personality interview I had and was really hoping that would've worked out. I'm not sure if that guy just B.S.'d me when he said he could see me working there in a creative role, but I really liked hearing it. Telephone interviews just scream "business."

It wasn't totally the case today. We discussed what he'd seen of my work and what his concerns with that work were (it's true and although bashing the ego, there's not much left to do damage). He also wanted to get into what intrigued him about me and my previous work experience. From there, we discussed the company's initial goals (it's newly founded and a great opportunity to move up in the beginning), what his vision of the company is, and what role he could see me filling in his company. We finished over an hour later with me feeling really good and an appointed time to meet over coffee later this week.

This could be it. I'm praying it is!

The One About the Desperate Interview

I caved and took an interview for a downtown job that guaranteed if I got it I'd be broke within a month. I drove in on Friday to their office and interviewed for the position. I knew going in that part of my job would include driving around, which also ensured that I'd need to drive to work every day, thus eating up even more costs in fuel.

What I didn't even think about... walking into the interview... was that the "career advisors" had sent my resume and reel in to the company. I hadn't even looked at the job posting!
INTERVIEWER
"Well, you've seen the job posting and everything that it entails.
How do you feel about it?"

ME
"Oh... I'm fine with it."

INTERVIEWER
"Well, there's a lot of different things on there and you could find yourself doing industry research first thing in the morning and laundry right before lunch."

ME
"Oh, I understand. In fact, I've had a job like that before. I'd start the morning off by updating the schedules and calendars on the website, coordinate my subordinate's tasks for the day, start some laundry, then have to run to a first aid emergency."

INTERVIEWER
"Was there anything in the job description you didn't like?"

ME
"To be honest, NO."


The About the Solo Kitty

In the summertime I mentioned that one of my cats (born in 1994) was put down because of illness and other debilitating circumstances. That left us with his brother being a lonely cat in our home. We've had a rule since we got married that the ratio of cats to people cannot go above 1:1. Right now it's 1:4.

It's not changing anytime soon and our cat is still doing really well. He's a total oddball of a cat and goofs around a lot, but hasn't shown any signs of illness like his brother.

I got the 2 brothers out of a litter of 5 born to my sister's cat. There were 4 boys and 1 girl. The girl, my current cat, and one other all had the same markings on their fur and faces (a smudge on their nose). One of those boys was differing shades of grey, whereas the other two were brownish in color. And, yes, the 3 were apparently all fairly strange.

The grey one was adopted by the receptionist at the vet's and he lived in the hospital for almost a year before he got a little brave one day and tried to eat his way through the vet's supply of high-end cat food. So, it was off to a home for him. I never heard what happened to him after that.

My cat's twin sister was adopted by (it's a small world) the niece of 'My First Love' who lived a few blocks away from me. She was an annoying cat, apparently, and was soon an outdoor cat. She had a couple small litters of cats that of which none survived very long. Soon after that, the twin cat died as well.

The 2 cats who did not look like the others did not look like each other either. One was a big grey puffball of a cat whom I fell in love with fairly quickly and decided to keep along with one of the 'triplets.' The 5th and final cat was black-and-white and my sister adopted him. The mother proved to be an outdoor cat (a farm cat) who refused to be domesticated and was soon taken to live on a farm. She'd been adopted from the SPCA and was pregnant at the time.

So, the grey puffball died this summer and I still miss him. His brother does too, although I think he likes having free run of the house again.

My sister's cat, the black-and-white one, died on Sunday.

So, my kitty's really solo now.

The One About the Next Missing Week

Dang! I wrote a message last Tuesday and now here it is 11:18 Tuesday night the following week! No excuses listed this time. It's time to get caught up with numerous posts!!