My Disney Disgust
Somehow staying in all weekend meant watching Disney movie after Disney
movie. That sucks big time.
I'm not a big fan of Disney movies ever since I saw Beauty and the Beast in the
theatre and had some woman behind me pick up her kid and swing him around to
take him out of the theatre. Sadly, my head was in the way of his feet.
My ear was bleeding when I left the theatre.
When I saw Aladdin, I walked out and asked for my money back since the 2 women
sitting behind me wouldn't shut up (more about My Movie Experiences later...).
It's one thing to pay to see a movie, but quite another to pay to have your kids
see a movie and you the opportunity to talk to your friends. Drop the kids
off at the theatre and hit a McDonald's for God's sake!
But Disney is now an evil corporation to me. I've read all the Grimm's
Fairy Tales, so I hate how Disney cleaned up their stories (such as Cinderella's
stepsisters --one of them had her eyes gouged out by crows, y'know). But
aisde form that, now it's the blatant "we can make another buck or 40 off this
media engine" that's shucking out sequels faster than their sweathouse animators
can draw. I mean, The Lion King 1 & 1/2? Please! And, of
course, my daughter can't wait to see it.
I finally succumbed and rewarded my daughter to her first movie experience with
Finding Nemo last Fall. I was reluctant to go simply because I feared for
my ears and figured something weird was bound to happen. And it did.
Some woman sitting in the same row decided she needed to hit the bathroom (too
bad she stunk of cigarettes when she got back --just admit you're a smoker it's
all the same disdain whether we know it or smell it!). So, she tells her
kid to stay with me (ME!!?!?!?) while she's away. This girl, younger than
my daughter, parks her self in my lap and starts asking for candy.
That's. Just. Wrong.
| Even more wrong was the animated Pixar short
at the beginning of the movie: 'Knick Knack'. We have this on video at home from its' original release back in the early 1990s and Disney 'cleaned' it up as well. See, the bikini women on some of the knick knacks were kind of... bosomy. And Disney gave them the ultimate breast reduction so much so that I was self-conscious of having more to fit into a bikini than these animated characters. Imagine what they'd do to Jessica Rabbit if they got a hold of her! |
|
But I digress...
This weekend I ended up watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean' which is an okay
movie. There are some frightening scenes which had they been expanded upon
would've made the movie great. Johnny Depp was definitely the highlight of
the movie, though. I got stuck watching 'The Lion King' on DVD with my
daughter. And this is the new extended (good Lord no!!) version with an
all-new song. I thought the songs were just stuck into this movie in the
first place and this extra song just makes that more blatant. Then, it was time
to watch 'Holes' which I actually enjoyed, but I think I wore out the batteries
on my VCR remote fast-forwarding through the whole Lion King trailer/commercial
and the following ones as well. Took about 15 minutes to get to the movie.
I much prefer DVDs where you hit one button and skip all the damn previews.
Then, to make matters worse, my wife insisted I spend more time with my daughter
and my wife flips on... 102 Dalmations.
Words can't describe how bad this movie is... But I'll give it a shot:
Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
I'm looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.
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