Monday, December 13, 2004

My Prodigal Friends

Some may remember My Practical Joke, which is still ongoing with my best friend. I still have postcards coming from all over the world and he still has no idea what's going on. And some may think that I'm becoming my own theory with what I'm about to describe --but I'm not and I'll explain later.

A Prodigal Friend is the friend you never hear from then suddenly you run into them one day (say, at Starbucks) and it's time to play catch-up on what may be motnhs or years of silence. All's good and you're always happy to see them until the next week when things start arriving in the mail or even via email. Invitations to Avon or Tupperware parties. The latest one I got was to go to a conference for an Amway-type company.

As if, suddenly after all these months, my friendship has so much meaning that they feel it necessary to involve me in their schemes. Well, why? What now makes me so important to your lives?

Nothing but selfish crap. And then when I don't respond, am I surprised that the Christmas card has THAT LABEL on it? No way, that means too much effort into any type of friendship.

Yes, granted, we've both been busy over the past year or so, but my initial reaction after seeing you again wasn't to drag you to some stupid conference (which by the way costs $35!!!)!! Ever hear of "going for coffee?" "Meeting with family?" "Picking up the FRIGGIN' PHONE???"

Nope! Amway, Partylite Candles. Tupperware. Spare me. I don't need friends like that. Although I'm sure I'll hear from you again sometime.

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