Husbands and Wives

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
~Rodney Dangerfield.

I had to use that quote simply because I was 20 when I met my future bride. I'm not about to go into all the negatives in our marriage --there are a few and I'll admit that most of them I've brought about myself. Nope, this is about the positives and what I'm planning on doing for her for Valentine's Day.

I bought a few pads of the heart-shaped Post-It Notes and I've been writing little notes on each one about some of the positive moments we've had in our relationship. The little things that made me love her more and more. I'm going to hide them all over the house on the evening of February 13th and she'll find most (or some --not all) around the house on Valentine's Day. So, in the tradition of the "101" posts I've done in the past, here's one about my wife and the things she's been a part of that make me love her more:

1. The most romantic moment was when she grabbed my hand and another girl's in Leicester Square in London using the excuse we needed to hold hands in order to stay together in the busy square.
2. The way she uses obscure pop culture references in the middle of a conversation.
3. The sly look on her face in that photo from the time we were... 'chatting' in a hotel room in Scotland at 3 in the morning.
4. Our first date, sitting in the back row of the theatre to watch Jurassic Park.
5. The way her chin wiggles when she's about to cry.
6. When I cried my eyes out when our daughter was born. (it was an emergency C-Section and I had to sit in the hallway and wait and see if everyone made it out okay)
7. Her love of disaster movies.
8. And the way she heckles poorly-made TV disaster movies.
9. Every morning I had to say goodbye to leave for work while she nursed our daughter. I never wanted to leave because they looked so beautiful together.
10. The way she cuddles with our son.
11. The way she asks for "kisses for Mommy" from our son.
12. When she falls asleep with her head in a book.
13. The way she falls asleep instantaneously as soon as she wants to.
14. That time on the beach...
15. The other time in the car.
16. Her devotion to friends.
17. The care she has for family --near and far.
18. Her "Look of Death," which I've only successfully used once, but regularly (weekl?) receive.
19. When she falls asleep while I'm talking to her. (not as cute as the book thing, but I still like it!)
20. The way she tries to hold in a laugh when our kids say or do something silly.
21. Her long black hair (even though I always considered myself a blonde-guy).
22. Her deep brown eyes.
23. The fact that she's smarter than me.
24. Anytime she takes an interest in something I like.
25. Her love of apple cider.
26. Her "Marge Simpson Moments."
27. When she inadvertantly uses an English accent.
28. The look on her face when she accidently turns my underwear pink.
29. The way she laughs at my jokes.
30. When she tells me I've just told a lame "Dad joke."
31. Her independent streak.
32. The way she sighs when I let her put her cold feet on me.

That's all I can think of right now. More will hit me later I know.

Among the Stars

So I've been watching episodes of the new Battlestar Galactica series off of a UK feed. The episodes are shown like 3 months in advance in the UK before they're shown on the Sci-Fi Network.

I originally mentioned that I was enjoying the series -somewhat- in a post back in early December. Well, I'm loving it now and it continually has gotten better with each episode.

What's really cool about the delayed Sci-Fi episodes is that the series has basically just begun for North American viewers, but it's up to episode 14 in the UK. And the latest episode had quite the cool cliffhanger ending.

But it's not like I can talk to anyonw about it, since I'm watching something like 11 episodes ahead right now...

Oh man, is it good!

I'll just shutup now and disappear into a geekier corner of my office.

Feeling Groovy

I'm still sick, but I've moved onto the "extra strength" medicine now. So, I'm sick, but I'm feeling good.

I had to go out last night and my wife suggested I take a Tylenol 3 before leaving to help with the headache that's been a constant since Sunday. Yeah, like that would've been a good idea to go driving for 20 minutes after taking one of those.

The "ice breaker" at the meeting was a quiz which I totally rocked throughout. People actually commented that they couldn't belive the stuff I knew from the quiz. I guess they just think of me as this goofy guy who's quick with a comment and filled with some interesting stories in his life, but they had no idea I could throw out answers like I did that night.

Then, this morning, I had an email just begging (or is that egging?) to be answered. It was a Star Trek question and although I don't consider myself a Trekkie or Trekker or whatever it is they call themselves. I just happened to know the answer to the question and decided to fill in a few details as well. But I'm not a Trekkie.

My brother-in-law's best friend will attest to that. I hate the guy --and I don't think I hate too many people-- and I hate the way he walks, talks... oog, everything!! When we were first introduced, my b-i-l says, "you two will have a lot to talk about since you're both such big Star Trek fans!" To which this guy responds, "Oh, well you're not a real fan unless you know *blah-blah-blah* happened in episode *yadda-yadda* of this series." My reaction: "I guess I'm not a fan then, am I?" and walked away. Loser. :-)

In college, my roomies and I did create a Star Trek the Next Generation Drinking Game. I wish I could remember some of it or had a copy to post, but the one that always stuck in my head was "The Picard Maneuver," which had you down 9 shots (in homage to the warp 9 speed in the maneuver) whenever Picard stood up and needed to tug down his shirt. We were nice in the rules, though, and you had to finish the shots by the end of the episode, not all at once.

But I'm not a Trekkie!

[just please ignore my stuffed Tribble, my Star Trek costume, my Bird of Prey bumper sticker, my Klingon coffee mug, the framed filmstrip from 'Generations, my phaser keychain, and the Klingon action figures.... oh, and the fact I can do the 'Live Long and Prosper' hand sign without any difficulty. Just ignore those, okay?]

Runnin' Down a Dream

I've been feeling ill as of late and have been heading to bed earlier --and sleeping an extra 3-4 hours during the day. I have a "tickle" in my throat that makes me choke and attempt to clear my throat pretty much non-stop throughout the day.

But the annoying thing lately has actually been my dreams. Seriously, I don't think for the majority of my life I've been one to recall dreams --or just dream in general. But for the past few weeks I've been inundated with dreams....

About my old workplace.

This totally sucks. I never want to think about that place again, yet I keep dreaming about it and not one dream has been a positive one. One dream had me asked to come back after being away for 5+ years just because something had gone wrong and someone assumed it was my fault (after 5 years?). Another dream just has my old boss "showing up" all of a sudden (who know where or when) and accussing me of all sorts of B.S. and -again- things that have gone wrong.

So what the Hell am I feeling or thinking that my old job keeps coming back to haunt me? Is it guilt? Is it the fact that I'm not feeling very "forgivable" about the way things ended with that department? Or is it just that I'm worried that my past is going to continue to haunt me for some time?

Last night -I think- was the first night in a long while it hasn't happened. Instead, I dreamt about my daughter going missing on a school field trip and the last anyone saw of her were footprints in the snow and disappearing into tire tracks on a roadway. It was totally devastating and when I woke up in the morning, I'd only slept for a few hours and could not get back to sleep again. I did eventually fall asleep again and my daughter woke me up as I'd fallen asleep in the living room.

I gave her a big hug and held onto her for a really long time. I didn't want to let go.

Something of Value

I am worth $1,920,544.00 on HumanForSale.com

Now, aren't you glad I asked?

Happy Being Miserable

I don't believe that life is supposed to make you feel good, or make you feel miserable either. Life is just supposed to make you feel.
~Gloria Naylor

I felt compelled to write both yesterday and the day before, but I just couldn't motivate myself to do it. I'm sick. Again. Only this time, it feels like I've thrown up and am left with that nagging stinging pain in the back of my throat. Not that there's been any vomit this time around. I got this --whatever it is-- from my wife, who now claims I got it just so people would feel sorry for me. Yeah, well, isn't that the point of getting sick? Like I WANT to get sick...

I fell asleep early on Saturday night. Woke up late on Sunday morning and fell back to sleep after my shower. Well after going to church and out for lunch, I ended up crashing on the in-law's sofa for another good 90 minutes or so. I also went to bed early Sunday night --just after 11 when I'm usually good until 2:30 or 3.

On Monday, I basically did the same thing only I felt much worse than before. And to top it off, my wife just thinks I'm being lazy.

So sweet!

My son is sick too, but that's just a concern not a problem like me.

So then there's the news that Monday is the most miserable day of the year. I don't agree with that. Sunday was worse.

I'm sick. My wife's sick. My son's sick. It was beautiful outisde, but all I wanted to do was sleep. My wife's mad because I'm lazy. The service at the restaurant on Sunday took forever.

And Johnny Carson's dead.

Worst day ever.

Me, Myself, & I

Felling a wee bit of writer's block, so it's time for something "fluffier." This post thanks to 'Madley' who begat it from another blogger somewhere down the road...

I haven't done a "ME, ME, ME" thing in awhile -- thanks Tasty Stacey!

3 names you go by:
a) Hairyhoser
b) Hoser
c) [my name]Dawg

3 screen names you have:
a) Hairyhoser
b) [my name again]Dawg
c) My name...

3 things you like about yourself:
a) I've got a great sense of humour.
b) I'm artistic.
c) I'm both a flirt and a social butterfly.

3 things you dislike about yourself:
a) I'm not always in a good mood.
b) I'm a little selfish still..
c) The only time I seem to have for socializing is in Sims2.

3 parts of your heritage:
a) Canadian - 8th generation, baby!
b) Irish (18th century anyway)
c) Scot (from my Dad again --but about 16th or 17th century)

3 things that scare you:
a) Snakes
b) some heights
c) noisy elevators (... I have my reasons)

Your everyday essentials:
a) Coffee
b) Email
c) [sex]

3 things you're wearing right now:
a) socks
b) jeans
c) underwear (it's kinda warm here --sorry, Dreama)

3 of your favorite bands/artists:
a) Peter Gabriel
b) Police
c) Barenaked Ladies

3 of your favorite songs at present:
a) "Come Talk to Me" - Peter Gabriel
b) "I've Seen All Good People" - Yes
c) "Honestly" - Carey Brothers (just a single person. His last name is 'Brothers' is all...)

3 new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
a) Acting
b) Set up a special event on my own
c) A different exercise regimen --join a fitness club?

3 things you want in a relationship (love is a given) :
a) Cooperation/support
b) Healthy intelligent conversations
c) [sex] --can you name 3 I think are currently missing?

2 truths and a lie (in no particular order):
a) I was blonde as a little boy.
b) I nearly died from acute appendicitis.
c) I'm a 33rd Degree Mason.

3 physical things about a love interest that appeal:
a) Sensuality/sensitivity.
b) Well rounded shoulders.
c) Long hair --always a favorite.

3 things you just can't do:
a) Rollerskate.
b) Finish school.
c) Motivate myself when the rut gets too big.

3 of your favorite hobbies:
a) Drawing.
b) Writing.
c) Playing Sims2.

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
a) Sell off all this stuff surrounding me and make good use of the $$.
b) Go on a real vacation.
c) Have [sex].

3 careers you're considering:
a) Writer.
b) Cartoonist.
c) Actor.
[I'm doomed].

3 places you want to go on vacation:
a) Scotland.
b) New Zealand.
c) Fiji.

3 kids names:
a) Mungo.
b) Siobhan.
c) Eoin.
--I wasn't allowed to name our kids.

3 things you want to do before you die:
a) Learn to play a musical instrument.
b) Be successful at... something. And have it recognized.
c) Be told that I am appreciated. Or at the very least: [sex].

3 people who now have to take this quiz:
a) Anyone who isn't having [sex] right now.

Gone At Last

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."
~Hans Hofmann

Okay, this is my second Amazing Race post in a week.

Why?

Because the little snot is finally gone.

E.
Lim.
In.
Ated.
Baby!!

Yes, shed a tear for that freaky couple Jonathan and Victoria who failed miserably to read '2' instead of '1' on their instructions. 2 donkeys. Not 1. And way not to walk your one donkey but hire some Ethiopian 'servant' to... haul your ass up the hill. Lazy bastards proved once and for all they deserved to lose.

Phew!

So now all disrespect turns towards Adam and Rebecca. Why? She's supposed to be such a strong character, but why she stays with Adam --I don't know. He's definitely a boy (a mama's boy for that matter) living in a man's body. At least I think it's a man. Can someone NOT do a drive-by scissoring his 2 little --I don't know, horns??? off his frickin' head? Geez, he better be a loser too. And soon. She's so strong but she sticks with this guy for over two years?? Please. If I acted like Adam, I wouldn't expect any intelligent woman to stick with me for more than an hour.

Frozen Wastes / Playing With Fire

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
~Noel Coward

Between snow actually falling on Saturday night, then the resultant rain mixing to make it an ice-covered wasteland, I bravely faced the element (not elementS, there was only one: water. And a lot of it. Frozen.) and shovelled the driveway before church. It needed to be done. We have an uphill driveway facing a downhill street so if I didn't do it we'd be out of control on the uphill before completely losing it on the downhill.....

So when I got up in the morning, I threw on some yardwork clothes and headed out to the driveway. I asked my wife to make coffee (my first meal of the day) and I'd get the driveway done. No shower, no breakfast --just get the job done.

I was hoping she'd bring me a mug at least to the garage so i could enjoy a sip or two whilst finishing up, but no, that's too much to ask apparently. I was talking to the neighbor's son when he came out to their driveway (we go to the same church and he came out to do it really late on a Sunday --like 30 minutes before the service starts). I asked him why he didn't do it earlier and he said his Mom made him get ready for church first and then shovel the driveway...

And immediately I had a flashback to my own childhood... well, at least my youth. My mother always --and I mean always asked me to do some chore right before a big date or dance (or both!). Seriously, even after the always-embarrassing parental prom photos in my senior year, my mom says, "Oh! One more thing! Can you do the kitty litter?"

Ahhh, memories:

But seriously. That's not me, by the way... just a little Photoshop fun for your enjoyment.

When I got in, I grabbed a mug of coffee (frickin' frozen is a good description of me at this point) and my wife said I didn't really have time for both coffee and a shower since I'd taken too long. So... down slams the mug of coffee, off to the shower I go, full of grumbles and mumbles about the "thank you" for doing the bloddy drive in the first place. I shower, get dressed and look at the clock to see we still have 20 minutes to get the 3 blocks to church. So, now it's time to piss off my wife:

My 24oz. Travel mug is filled with caffeinated goodness to bring along to church. I'll be slurping away during the whole service. And if anyone asks, I was too busy shovelling the driveway to have breakfast and then I'll ask for their forgiveness. I mean, 2 people in the choir bring coffee up to the fornt of the church with themevery Sunday, so me doing it on a day most places are shut down won't exactly be frowned upon.

We're also picking up my mother-in-law, who lives on the way, so it's just a quick stop to get her. As it is, only about a third of the congregation showed up for the service and a few of those people were form other churches which were shut down because of the weather. Our church stays open every Sunday ever since there was a weather cancellation and a woman who usually lives in Africa drove over 90 miles from a worse-off town just to find the church doors locked. In esssence, no more excuses from the people living just down the street.

But before I left to shower, I mentioned the neigbor's son shovelling so late and that "his Mom made him get ready for church first." As I was about to continue to remind her of my youth when similar things happened, she instead lashes out about me being so negative and derogatory against women.

Wha?

The hits just keep coming later on in the afternoon. After lunch, we're waiting for "Mom" to finish up at the bank and notice, despite the freezing rain, a man standing outside an apartment building in a tank top and sweat pants. As we drove by, we could see why. He was waiting for a truck to pull up and to help carry a baby inside the building. "That's a father," I said, "You can tell ebcause he's putting everyone else ahead of himself no matter what."

So what do I get for a response? "That's good"? No. "Just like you"? Nope. "That's what's appreciated"? Uh-unh. "That's the way it should be." Oh yeah. There you go. I'm just pointing out the obvious --and obviously not doing my best, right?

That evening, the power goes out because of the ice on the wires and broken branches falling down. I don't have an excuse to back away and work on the computer and instead sit in the living room, light some candles, and offer to play games with the kids. This is good for about an hour or so, but I'm tired and feel the need to curl up on the couch and have a nap. In the meantime, my wife is also sitting in the living room and reading by candlelight. She's brought a couple of candles down off the top of the entertainment unit (about 4.5 - 5 feet off the ground) and put them on an end table --within reach of our 18 month old son. Sure enough, she gets up to get something out of the kitchen and my daughter screams when he walks towards the candles. I wake up in a start and lose my balance jumping off the couch to stop him before he burns himself. Down I go, on my right hip and my son starts to cry because of my shout and subsequent fall. So, my wife rushes back to make that my son is alright. And 30 minutes later, she asks me why I feel the need to shout all the time.

I assure her it had nothing to do with my falling on the floor and hurting my hip (nice purply bruise there, by the way) and how much I appreciate her concern.

'Twas a long night. Fortunately, the power's back on today.

Lazy Mornin'

"We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action."
~Frank Tibolt

I am, right now, about 160 auctions behind where I actually want to be. I'm hoping by tomorrow that I'm caught up, but the most I've been able to do in one day is about 50.

I don't think I'm going to make it.

I need some inspiration and motivation to continue and this past week just wasn't a good week as I fell "off the eBay wagon" and started getting lazy again with shipping things out. It doesn't take much to fall behind, that's for sure. But I knew yesterday that getting behind would NOT help my future on eBay, so I bucked up and did the most daring thing I've done so far.

I had 20+ auctions that needed to be packed and mailed, but knowing I was late with some of them (by a few weeks at this point), I decided to go the more difficult route and head to the U.S. of A. to mail everytihng out with their incredibly more reliable postal system. (As a note to any American readers of this post: If you think you're postal system is bad, then you ain't seen nothin! The Canadian postal system is more expensive and ultimately slower than the American system.) Think of it this way: If I lived in a northern community and mailed in my property taxes for the year say on January 2nd, then my payment should arrive within 5-7 business days. DAYS!! If I want to guarantee that they get it quickly by mail, then I can pay $6-$14 to have it mailed by registered mail and they "guarantee" it will be there within 3 days. 3 days, by the way, doesn't include the day you dropped it off and the day it's actually delivered. I learned this when I sent those packages to New York and complained after the guaranteed 15 days had passed that neither had reached their destination in time. One took 17 days to arrive and the post office argued that I shouldn't be including the day I mailed it out or the day they delivered it. I eventually got my $16 back for that one --and the other one too after it took 45 days to reach Fordham University. 45 freakin' days. Lewis & Clark could've walked it there faster than the bloody post office took!!

So, off to the USPS I go, which is a 40 minute drive, then a 20 minute walk in -12 degree wind chill to drop off the items. $45 later, everything is on its way to all parts of the U.S. (and one to England at 1/3 the price and 1/3 the delivery time!!). I also got tracking numbers for everything and guess what? It's Saturday and 2 packages have already arrived!

If it were any easier, I'd do it again.

But I'm still in need of motivation and I tihnk this morning I got it. When I left for bed last night, my week's auctions were at a paltry $14.83. 84 auctions and nothing to show (which doesn't help with the motivation either, really) for it. Well, this morning that changed as the sales now total $56.56 which is a fantastic jump n 8 hours!!

And off I go to list more items for tomorrow!! Motivation ON!!

Run Around the World

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
~Lily Tomlin

Tuesday nights are a "look forward to" TV night for the family. My wife, daughter & I are all fans of Amazing Race. This is the 6th Race and I'm still antsy throughout the entire episode.

And how close were we to finally getting rid of that rat bastard Jonathan last night, eh?

I did a little digging to see just what makes this couple, Jonathan and Victoria, click. Or unclick. Or whatever. So, off to the Amazing Race website I go!

Y'know... his wife Victoria is kind of hot. She is. But for every "hot" point she earns... she's with Jonathan and that's like minus-2 points for every year they dated and minus-10 points for every year they've been married. Oh, and for her comment "I think Jonathan would make a great father"? Yeah, minus a million points, woman!!

The human race is better off if he never has kids. He's 42 and acts what? 12? Maybe? On a good day? And he owns a spa, for God's sake! I thought spas were for relaxation and meditation. How would you like to go and relax in a mud bath in his spa? He'd stand over your shoulder all the time. "You're gonna lose." "You're such a loser. It's all your fault!" Yeah, that's my idea of relaxation.

And Jonathan's quote on their bio page:

"I bring the Jedi Mind Trick to The Amazing Race. I can wave my hand and make the impossible happen."

Yeah, no kidding. You take all the fun out of the show, you bastard!!

Oh, and one more thing. Had I been close by in Berlin when you pushed Victoria running too slow? Your nose would be considered an "inny."

PLLLEEEAAASSSSEEEE let next week's episode be their last!!

Lonely In Your Nightmare

"A vision without action is called a daydream; but then again, action without a vision is called a nightmare."
~Jim Sorensen

As promised, I wnet ot bed early last night since I've been burning the 3am oil for the past few weeks. I seem to be doing all right with 6 or so hours of sleep a night (and I've read recently somehwere that less than 8 hours is actually better for you too). Lately, however, my teething son hasn't been helping with the 6 hours' sleep so it's pretty much turned into 5 hours a night. And yes, 5 hours is more difficult to cope with.

But working into the wee hours of the morning seems to be the better choice. I'll have to write down my "daily schedule" one of these days to share on this blog. Obviously, it's not something I'd write out at home normally, mainly because my wife reading these posts would probably kill me and/or divorce me...

So last night, feeling quite tired and after promising to come to bed at a decent hour --did just that.

I was asleep before 11pm.

I didn't sleep for long, though, as I woke form a very strange dream, not exactly a nightmare, but intense enough that my heart was racing. And then I was awake until almost 3am again.

So, what was the dream about? All I can remember is this:
I was travelling in a vehicle that seemed in so many ways to be like a space shuttle or something. On the 'wing' was a chair (I think) and we were being chased by these gigantic robot-like monsters. They wanted the chair (and one actually managed to grab onto the wing and sit down on it) and were continuing to chase us. Once one of the monsters got on the wing, we seemed to take off higher into the air (we'd been skimming along the desert floor before that). The robot on the wing then tried to break into the "shuttle" but could break through the window (robot-proof glass?). The one woman on board was right by the window and started screaming that it was going to get through the window, but someone else shouted out that it couldn't break the glass. But then, as it continued to pound on the glass, the window began to break its seal from the frame...

And then I was awake.

Weird, eh?

Read About It

There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.
~Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

I got down to the library on Friday to pick up the next book in the series I've been reading since June 2003. After this one, I own the final 2 books in the series, making for a total (so far) of 19 books in one series. I've read 10 other books by the same author (must be my favorite, yes?) over the past 5 years. 6 were 2 trilogies, one was the first of another trilogy (I think --there maybe be more in a series, but I've never bothered to check) and the other 3 were standalone books (although one could easily be an 'aside' story to the 19-book series). I got the book on Friday and I'll be finished before bed tonight.

Why? First, it's a really good book and an easy read. Second, I have 2 to go and I've been dying to read them since I picked them up at a used bookstore last April.

Just as important to me, though, is that I've never been big on reading books because for the great majority of my life, I was buried in comic books. Granted, I still read those too. About 50 or so a week (that's about 1,000 pages of information), PLUS daily newspapers, PLUS internet chat messages, PLUS a half-dozen regular weblogs (and once a week I do a 'blogexplosion' too), AND to even the tide a bit --while I'm typing this I'm watching TV shows with my Windows Media Player.

How's that for information overload?

I've started reading Marvel comics form the 80s that I may have glanced over 20+ years ago and now I'm curious to see if there's anything appealing in them.

So what's with all the reading? Well, another book I've been reading off-and-on for a few years (it's filled with interviews and articles) discusses the different ways writers come up with their stories. And as I've mentioned here before, I am working on a story right now that so far consists of 1,000 pages (and I have managed to break that down into smaller 'books', so don't think I'm writing something heavier in weight than 'War and Peace'). But writers --get this-- get their ideas from other stories, real-life events and somehow mix them together into a formula for a story. One comic writer uses the same basic formula for everything he's written (and off the top of my head I'd say it's got to be somewhere above 25,000 pages), but still manages to submit work that's considered by many to be rather exciting stories!!

So, is this plagiarizing? No. Think of it this way: I read a non-fiction history book a few months ago and one sentence in that book set up the initial conflict I was struggling with in my story. One sentence. Now, this was a history book, so it's depicting an event that occurred some 700 years ago. It's given part of my story from a single sentence. Next up is the book I'm finishing today. In the foreword by the author (there is something to be said about picking up later editions of books), he explains how he had plans for his characters, but in introducing a supporting character in this story (and one about 4 books earlier), he had suddenly discovered that the direction he had for these characters was no longer the direction they were headed. What could be better?

So, from 2 newspaper articles about scientific results, one history book depicting a minor event 700 years ago , one major (local) news event in the closing days of the 20th century, one major international news event in the past 4 years and I'm suddenly overwhelmed with settings, characters and conflict.

Again, what could be better?

Snow is Falling

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
~Doug Larson

It's barely snowing today and yesterday it was pretty much like today only not as windy. So, the wind chill factor means that our temperatures are becoming more and more... "Canadian" in January.

One good thing I've noticed about this blog is that I can go back and see something I jotted down a year ago and remember the exact event. January 6, 2004 was our "big snowfall" of the year when we were told to expect up to 20cm of snow and got 5cm instead. This time around, we
were told to expect up to 5cm and so far have gotten about 12. I'm finding it cold now, though. Must be my age ;-)

When I was a kid, I lived up north and my first day of school it was -44 out. That's cold enough that both Fahrenheit and Celsius measure it the same: damn cold. I was hoping to find some facts, but Google goes crazy as soon as you type in 'temperature.' -44 is cold enough that your breath crystallizes when you exhale. Exposure at those temperature means frostbite --fast.

Now, I'm here where it's -12c with the wind chill and I'm whining about it. This sucks. I should be able to handle it. [My excuse is the snow up north was the "dry snow" and down here where it rains so much it's a really, really "wet snow" so despite the 'warmer' temperature, it seems colder because it chills you more effectively than colder, dry snow.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, snow! My wife had been called into work for Friday (my old office), but the place was shut down giving everyone a long weekend.

Of course, they also had this to cope with this week:

I wrote last month about 2 fires over a weekend of places where former co-workers would hang out? I referred to one of them as 'Saturday,' the pub where people met up on Saturday nights. This one pictured above is most referred to as 'Friday' although it was extremely popular for lunch during the week as well. It burned down on Thursday. Glad I have an alibi.

Getting back to the snow... Friday, had I still been at the office, would have officially been a "snow day." And I have to say that snow days are a lot more exciting when you actually care whether or not you go into work. It's kind of like Christmas in some ways: The excitement of an unexpected gift.

I should feel that way everyday.

I think the fact that I have been working on things has taken away some of the excitement of 'being home.' I spend a lot of time on the computer (eBay, web stuff, games...), so it's a lot like work right now (especially since the eBay stuff is bringing in money!!). But when your office is in your home... snow days aren't really exciting.

I really feel a need right now to reconnect with some part of my youth. I just have to find a healthy alternative...

Like a good snowball fight.

Thursday's Lists

Attempt easy tasks as if they were difficult, and difficult as if they were easy; in the one case that confidence may not fall asleep, in the other that it may not be dismayed.
~Baltasar Gracian

My wife, finally I think, has realized that if I'm given a list of things to do --I'll do it.

The problem is, when I have a list of things to do. It gets modified something fierce. And then I'll miss something or do something "similar" but not exactly the way she wants and then she comments on it. I'd like to say 'bitch-n-complain' but she'd say comment. Not even 'criticize,' but there you go.

Oh yes, it's snowing today too and having knowledge of that means heading out early today.

Between my son not sleeping well last night and the fact that I'm usually still awake at 3am, I got up and ready to go out in the snow by 9:30. That's showered, 1st cup of coffee, and fully dressed. My list today consists of:

1. Go to the bank. Deposit money orders from eBay.
2. Hit Canadian Tire and see if they have any "chimney sweep logs" in stock. We haven't found any in about a month, so.... (note to self: expect to pay $25 or so... bloody expensive bastards).
3. Go to Radio Shack and find the adaptor for the optical mouse for the older computer. (note to self: so much for the "useful" Christmas present for the computer! It doesn't recognize USB ports!!). All the other electronics stores didn't have any.

Seems simple enough. Bank opens at 10am, so I'll head out then after having some breakfast. But first, my wife has to shower and get some laundry started, so I have to watch the kids (our son has serious abandonment issues --no one knows why--) until she comes back upstairs.

10:15 - she comes back and she's thought of a few more things for me to do.

1. Since I'm at Canadian Tire, how 'bout I pick up a new snow shovel too. The other one's getting on in years and she'd like a newer "ergonomic" one. Oh, and since our daughter's older now, maybe it's time for a crazy carpet or something to play in the snow (if it gets deep enough).

10:20 - I put on my boots and jacket. Grab my keys when she stops me to add:

1. BANK. They're matching donations for the tsunami relief. Make a donation when I do the deposit.

10:22 - So, I step into the car and suddenly she's at the door:

1. Shovel the driveway and walkway before I go. She doesn't want the mailman complaining if he slips.

11:09 - Finally get into the car and drive away.

I get to the bank, make the deposit and donate $25 to the disaster relief. Feeling a little better knowing there are those that will get so much more out that money than we ever will.

In the same mall, in between the bank and Canadian Tire are Radio Shack and Blockbuster. I'm contemplating renting some DVDs to help bide time if there is potential for a huge snowfall over the next few days (5-day forecast was simple: S-N-O-W). I don't get very far before spotting on the previously viewed shelf copies of 'Elf' for $16.99, And I have a coupon, people!! We'd planned on buying this before Christmas, but all the place sin the mall didn't seem to have it in stock. We picked up Return of the King yesterday (the extended version --of the DVD, not Wednesday) and I almost grabbed the single copy of Elf in HMV. Single copy. That's it for the whole 20 square mile area. But here's copies in Blockbuster and $12 cheaper!!

After that, it's over to Radio Shack where the adaptor is available for $7.99. I pick it up and grumble to myself that the super-cheap mouse has now almost doubled in price.

Canadian Tire has 2 different chimney sweep logs. The traditional one is $21.99 and the other one (by just as good a company) is $7.99. Guess which one I'm taking? I hunt high and low for crazy carpets before I finally notice that they're in their outdoor section (coincidentally.... OUTSIDE). Not only that, but right next to them is the ergonomic shovels. $25.99. So much for the cheaper log, eh? Beside it is a big bag of rock salt which will come in handy as well and for $1.69 a bag is reasonably priced. No more kitty litter which seems to track inside all the time instead of staying on the driveway and walkway. The crazy carpet selection isn't very good and I decide (after picturing my daughter out of control with the one in stock) not to pick one up. Besides, $14.99 for a sheet of hard plastic? Nope. Not gonna happen.

So, I come home and review my list (in bold are the additions and in blue are my wife's "comments" about the list):

1. Go to the bank. Deposit money orders from eBay. Donate money to disaster relief. I was supposed to only do $20, but I'll pretend I won the argument by asking "Is it really worth talking about $5?"
   
2. Hit Canadian Tire and see if they have any "chimney sweep logs" in stock. We haven't found any in about a month, so.... (note to self: expect to pay $25 or so... bloody expensive bastards). Pick up an ergonomic snow shovel and a crazy carpet. $7.99 for a log be damned. I didn't pick up the one she talked about. $25.99 for the shovel was too much [insert bashing head here] and I should have looked around more for a good sled or something for our daughter.
   
3. Go to Radio Shack and find the adaptor for the optical mouse for the older computer. (note to self: so much for the "useful" Christmas present for the computer! It doesn't recognize USB ports!!). All the other electronics stores didn't have any. $7.99 was way too much money to spend and just shows further proof what a waste a new mouse was for the old computer. There was nothing really wrong with the old one. It just doesn't react very well when you move it around the desk.

As for stopping at Blockbuster..... When did I ever get the idea that we were planning on picking up 'Elf'? Oh, I don't know. Maybe the dozen or so times we discussed it before Christmas. And how disappointed we were when we couldn't find it. Or maybe it was JUST FREAKIN' YESTERDAY when we talked about it at HMV. Good Lord.....

But at least she wasn't complaining.

Nausea Times Two

Twice yesterday I started feeling really ill and at first I couldn't explain it.

Well, I thought it was coming from this email I'd read from an eBay user (add an 'l' and you know how I was feeling) who was complaining that I hadn't followed his explicit instructions to-the-letter (which was true, I hadn't as I misread his paragraph-plus on the correct type of cardboard to use in packing the item) and that his purchase was now ruined. Despite my offer to refund his money, he refused and kept going on-and-on about "somebody else must have packed the item --YOU had my instructions, why didn't you follow through?" Guh.

I'd checked out his feedback and although his is fine, he's pretty nasty with some other people and says they act quite childish. So, after reading a few comments like this, I decided I'd just be apologetic and leave it at that. And, of course, wait for my first negative feedback. Which actually hasn't come yet.

But then later on, I started feeling that way again and I knew it had nothing to do with this guy on eBay. It stayed with for over an hour until I finally clued in to what was causing it.

I was typing in the questionnaire I'd submitted last night and had been watching episodes of a British TV show called 'The Peep Show.' PERVERT? No. It's a comedy that has the camera act as the first-person point of view (in fact, it was originally going to be called 'P.O.V.' but they changed their minds). The camera, however, acting like a person moves and shakes around a lot and as I'm typing, half my monitor is moving and shaking.

I was getting seasick.

It's a good show, but I don't know if I can handle getting nauseous everytime I watch it.

Reflections of What Used to be

Found on another blog... who got it from an unknown meme...

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Going into life completely on faith. I'd always done half-heartedly before, but I know there's something out there for me and I need faith to see me through to wherever it is I'm ending up.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Done and done!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
In 2003, yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not this year (phew). Although, there was that one lady at work who I'd written up in her evaluation. She died.

5. What countries did you visit?
The U.S.A. Like I had money/time to go anywhere else. It's 3 minutes from my (old) office to the U.S. border!

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A career decision. A chance to use my creativity.

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
February 21: Met up with 'My First Love' after a 12 year absence. Her baby is due any day now... (not mine!)
October 8th: Last day in the same office as the Co-workers from Hell.
October 27th: Last day of work, a.k.a. Co-workers from Hell get their revenge.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
"Getting it." Knowing, as I wlake dot that fateful meeting, that it was exactly the right time for me to leave work and not regret it.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Even thinking of doing anything more than being a friend with 'Sex Caffeine.'

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I slipped and fell one day at work. Otherwise, just the plague in mid-December.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
The new car was a definite big purchase. Hey! Just realized that was something else change changed in both 1994 and 2004!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My wife. She stuck with me the entire time I was a selfish prick. You stay, girl!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mine for the most part. Oh, and the Co-workers From Hell. Still can't get over how unbelievably stupid they were.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Mortgage. Bills. Car payments.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The realization that not having to go into work anymore was a good thing.

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
'Falling' by Ben Kweller.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Oh, ummmm. The weight didn't change (fluctuated, and I did lose 35 pounds at one point) but I am definitely more physically fit now than before... less body fat, does that count?
c) richer or poorer? Poorer. Comes with being unemployed and then getting screwed around on over half my overtime claim. Richer in life, faith and knowing who my friends are, though.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent time with my family instead of focusing on work. Seriously, where did it get me?

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Work. Paid work (and the screwy overtime) and even volunteer work. I was burnt out for a good few months there.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Duhhhhrrrr.... I spent it at home with my family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
Yes. I fell deeply and madly in love with my wife all over again.

22. How many one-night stands?
Zilch.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
'Hush' really jumped out at me this year. It's really quite well done. And Paget Brewster made my top 100 sexy women list as well.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Let me just say that I "strongly dislike" many people. Wait...Michael Moore...I hate him.

25. What was the best book you read?
"Candide" by Voltaire

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Tammany Hall NYC. 'Back in the Bottle' would be my #2 answer for question #16.

27. What did you want and get?
A new car!!

28. What did you want and not get?
The chance to redeem myself in my old, old, old, old department.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That, or 'Hero.'

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went and saw Spider-Man 2 in a crappy theatre. And I turned 29 for a 3rd straight year!

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
My boss (from Hell!) getting arrested for DUI. Stupid bastard.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Metro-sexual. Oh yeah, baby. I stepped it up a notch in '04.

33. What kept you sane?
Writing here. Telling secrets to 300 or so people...

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jon Stewart. Wait. Does that sound gay? OK, I admired Jon Stewart, but if you want to go with 'fancy' then it was definitely Jennifer Garner. (I even put her in Sims 2, eh?)

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Screw the U.S. election. We had one in Canada too and I so wanted Belinda Stronach to lead the Conservative party to victory!!! She woulda had any politician eating out of her hand and that would be a good thing.

36. Who did you miss?
My family here at home. How I could work 10 miles away and make it seem like 5,000 I'll never figure out --or forgive myself for doing.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
There's been a handful of people I've met through this blog and I now read theirs on daily basis (regardless, Madley and Julie, if they post every day). Otherwise, I don't think there was anyone new.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
If you gut instinct is telling you that this person is an idiot --go with your gut instinct.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Again, gotta go with Ben Kweller's 'Falling':

Hey, trees fall and so do men

Even the walls start caving in

And you feel like there's no pretend for you



I don't feel like I'm falling

No I don't feel like I'm falling

No I don't feel like I'm falling down

Just say hello to the ground



We could talk if days weren't so fast

And mistakes just leave it so unsure

Wanna hold you like never before

Cause we're falling and I love you more and more

G'night.

Resolution #5

"Character is the ability to carry out a good resolution long after the excitement of the moment has passed."
~Cavett Robert

I think overall, 2004 was one year where I stuck to nearly every resolution for the majority of the year.

1. A selfish prick? Yes I was, thank-yew-very-much.
2. Cut down on Coca Cola? Sort of. I stopped with regular Coke for a few months after Diet Coke with Lime arrived on the scene. But I'm back to the normal stuff (and the "healthier" alternative 'C-2') and drink about 3 cans a week.
3. New friends? Close. I found out who my true friends are and how important it is to value them.
4. Doing Things that make me better? Big time. New car. New hairstyle... same body but with muscles and a fitness level to it now.

And now 2005 has begun and I need to think up new resolutions. So here we go:

1. Take this talent and use it. I once was awarded an art scholarship and never used it. I've basically put down the art supplies since then and have felt the urge to draw. Again.
2. Spend 24 hours on a story. I never did write the 'My 24 hours.' post last year, so I'll have to write about it this year. By April. :-)
3. Teach my son his first mega-word. My daughter, when she was 2 years old, told people she wanted to be a hematopathologist when she grew up. She said it a friend of mine -a career counsellor- and he had no idea what that was. Now I have to think up a good one for my son...
4. Land a career by my birthday. Nothing wrong with setting dates for these, right? I'm saying career, because I don't want another job. I want a career, a place where I want to be. That's the second most important lesson I learned this past year. The first was 'have faith.'
5. Do one thing I've never done before. Be that bungee jumping, climbing, whatever... just to DO something I haven't done means I'll never have to say "I've never..." again.
   

And thus, we've reached the end of my resolutions for 2005. I hope I can do as well again this year.

My Conclusions

This is My Last Post...

Where are You going? - Dave Matthews Band

Where are you going, with your long face pulling down?

Don’t hide away, like an ocean

But you can’t see, but you can smell

And the sound waves crash down



I am no superman

I have no answers for you

I am no hero, oh that’s for sure

But I do know one thing for sure

Is where you are, is where I belong

I do know, where you go, is where I want to be



Where are you going, where do you go?

Are you looking for answers, to questions under the stars?

If along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me until a brighter day

It’s okay, where are you going, where do you go?



I am no superman

I have no answers for you

I am no hero, oh that’s for sure

But I do know one thing for sure

Is where you are, is where I belong

I do know, where you go, is where I want to be



Where are you going, where do you go?

Are you looking for answers, where do you go?

Well, it's my last post with 'My' in the title anyway and I'll struggle for the next few days getting used to the next theme. Nobody did guess correctly on My Theme....

So, what was My Year like? Well, to be honest, I was following a theme for a post that was never written. Whoops. Essentially, I was looking at the fact that in 1994 my life changed drastically, work, family, life, love. It all changed. I met my future wife, I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years, I lost family members, changed jobs (having to suddenly grow up and acknowledge the world was a bigger place), and found myself burnt out from the group I'd associated with since my pre-teen days. Life changed for the better. And I, in My Year, wanted to focus on change again and make it again for the better.

But 2004 didn't seem to be going the same as 1994 to me. At least, it didn't seem that way. Things were getting progressively worse with work, family, life and love. I nearly split with my wife and lusted after another woman. I distanced myself from family members. I got burnt out with the church I've been attending since 1994. Things seemed so bad by Fall that I couldn't see anything getting better.

And then I left work.

And it's amazing what's happened since then. The burden is gone. The dedication to a job that I didn't like is gone (along with the feeling of doing anything ever again that I don't love doing). The handful of people who tried very hard to make my life a living Hell are gone. I've had the opportunity in the past few months to watch my son grow (after missing the first year of his life because of work). I've been spending more time with my daughter and seeing the incredible potential in the talents she shows at the age of 4. The way she looks at the world in wonder. I got to renew my relationship with my wife instead of throwing it away because of stupid meaningless things. I've learned more in the past few months than the past 7 years. I've also realized the importance of faith in life. When there's no other path you can see, faith clears the way and it's... I don't know how to describe it: open the windows, open the doors, turn the lights on and shout. That's how it feels.

And thus, 2004 comes to a conclusion as my wife and I raise a glass of Merlot to 2005 and continued excitement in our lives. 2003 closed with me alone and sad for the future. In 2005, the sky is bright (figureatively speaking --it's cloudy, cold and windy outside) and everything is ahead of me on the path of my life.

Even if I can't see it all right now.

[and very soon the new theme for 2005 begins... My Year is over].