My Ultimatum

A few months back I approached my wife with a major concern.  About
us.  I honestly didn't think we were going to make it to Christmas at the
rate we were going.  She admitted that she wasn't feeling the same way
about me anymore.  Better put:  She's no longer attracted to me.

Ouch.

I've felt like a persona-non-grata for quite a while now.  It's all pretty
much little things, but they add up after so many years.  And they continue
everyday to this day.  Case-in-point:  Last Sunday.  We're going
for lunch (my decision where to go again) and I'm struggling to get the
baby-carrier out of the car.  It's windy like crazy and icy
everywhere.  The windchill right now drops the temperature to about
-15.  Cold.  Really cold for this area where a 'cold winter' hovers
around +5 --not -15...  I'm trying to get a blanket over the carrier to
protect my son, stand firm on the icy pavement, and gather up his toys all at
the same time.  My daughter's latched onto my father-in-law to get into the
restaurant before she gets too cold.  I turn around to comment to my wife
that she could try and help (take the diaper bag or something), but she's
gone.  I look and she's inside the restaurant, which is over 100 yards away
from the parking spot.  I think to myself 'if I were to slip on the ice and
crack my skull open... how long would it take for someone to
notice?'  

When we left the restaurant, I struggled to get my son back into the car and
moved to the other side to help strap my daughter in.  My wife had climbed
in the car and leaned over to unlock my daughter's door, leaving it to me to get
both kids in the car.  After struggling to get the kids in the car, I'm
quite cold and shivering.  My hands (no gloves) are shaking something
fierce and I'm struggling with the keys.  Why?  My door's still
locked.  My wife can't lean over and unlock the door.

I'm nobody.  

Dinner Sunday night was also at a restaurant.  My mother's down for the
weekend and wanted to see us.  It was also an opportunity to give my
brother in-law his birthday present which I'd picked up earlier in My Last
Visit to Wal-Mart. Ever.

On the 45-minute drive to the restaurant, my wife kept complaining that I was
driving too fast.  I was speeding, but the number of cars passing me should
have been a good indication that I was the slow-poke on the road.  She
complained the entire drive in.  She complained at the restaurant. 
She complained on the way home.  So I finally pulled over and told her to
drive.  If she waned to bitch about my driving the entire time because she
has no confidence in my abilities to drive, then she could do it.  I didn't
talk to her for the rest of the night.

Dinner Monday night was another story.  She tells me dinner's ready and I
come into the kitchen and sit down.  Our daughter says grace (she's  3
and it's really cute when she does it) and she and my wife begin to eat.  I
don't.  I don't have anything to eat.  My plate is still in the
cupboard.  I'll have to get it, my cutlery and food on my own.

A few years back, when others noted the poor way my wife treats me with 'the
little things,' we were watching a video series on 'loving families.'  One
of the best examples of love we can show to our kids is how we love our spouses,
especially with 'the little things.'  Opening a car door.  A quick
kiss for no reason.

So, I wonder... what does my daughter think when everyone else is served dinner
but me?  What does she think if I'm left out in the cold while everyone
else is in the car trying to warm up?

So the ultimatum has been given.

My wife has the next six months to make a decision (that's why it's six
months...) as to whether or not she still sees me as her husband and best friend
or if I'm just the father of her children.  If I'm not wanted there for
anything else, then there's no reason for me to be there.  And thus My Year
begins...