My Anniversary

Today is a special day for me.  It's not your typical 'anniversary' to your spouse, or how many years you've been at your current job (I've been working for close to 7 years and that anniversary is in August --and to celebrate it, I won't be here).

Nope, this anniversary is for the loss of The Curse --my first Co-Worker From Hell (shortened, of course, to 'CFH' to save my typing skills)

In my close-to 7 years here, I've never had so many run-ins with co-workers until I moved to this department just over a year ago.  Now, in the space of that year, I've gone through 5 of them.  4 are CFH, one is not --well, the jury's still out, but it's looking good.  But The Curse was something special to be sure.

We started here the same day and as I was taking "the tour" of the facility, she was in the boss' office (not my current boss --hence, I've been here the longest out of the entire department) complaining about the work we were required to do and just what all she would not do as long as she was working here.  I knew immediately it was going to be a tough time.  Fortunately, we were only going to be working together for 30 minutes each day, but the email messages took a nasty tone very early on.

My favorite story leading to the demise of The Curse was her last full day in the office.  It was a really busy week (much like this week this year has been) and she had been trying to get me away from the office for a good 20 minutes.  I was getting ready for lunch and she kept coming to the office door saying things like, "It's a beautiful day.  Go eat lunch outside." And things like hat.  It was too weird, so I refused.  In fact, I brought my lunch into the office (which
I very rarely do) and ate there.  I also emailed my boss to see if there was anything special happening that day that I may not be aware of.  Indeed, there was. My new boss was arriving and taking a tour of the place before officially starting in July.  So, The Curse wanted me out of the office when he arrived. 

No way was I going anywhere.

I'd forgotten a drink however and went to another department where they have a really good "pop fund" and grabbed myself a drink.  On my walk back, I run into my new boss on his tour.  The lady showing him around takes one look at me and says, "He knows this place better than I do and he's going to be answering to you anyway --he can show you around the rest!"  And thus, the three of us walk back to the office... and The Curse's smile turns into a frown as we come around the corner.

It turns out about a week after we'd started, The Curse had met the new guy when he'd arrived for his interview.  He thought he'd get a "head's up" on various parts of our department before his interview, but unbeknownst to him, the staff was completely new and were just learning where and what things were.  No help.  When he was formally introduced to us, he commented that the Curse "didn't know anything."  Open posture suddenly whips into a closed posture and The Curse is pissed royally.

The next day, The Curse leaves early with a strange back ailment.  Her claim:  "The computer's at a funny angle" and she's thrown her back out trying to use it.  My claim: Whiplash. From receiving the comment from the new boss...

The next day, she stays until I arrive and takes off.  It wasn't until this year that I re-read her final message to my boss & I that she'd like to cut back her hours and only work until 11:30 "when the pain starts." Yep, took me a year
to realize I started at 11:30.  D'aaawwww. I was the pain.  The next day, she doesn't show up at all and there are several people panicking and trying to figure out what's happened to her --including the new boss who has dropped by the office for some paperwork.  The only person who has an answer for him is a friend from my last department who says that The Curse hasn't come in, but good ol' me has been called in early and I'll be there any minute to help out. She adds that everyone counts on me for things anyway --especially if they want things done.  Such a sweety.

The Curse never set foot in the office again and I was told the following week she'd been granted an "early retirement package."  I had 2 former bosses call and congratulate me for the work I'd done to get rid of her --something they'd been trying for years to no avail.

I wasn't trying, but I soon earned the nickname 'Killer.'

Ah, memories.