The One About A Quiet Sunday

Today was the first Sunday since mid-December where my wife & I haven't had an argument about... anything.

Yeah, that means both Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve were bad days and hopefully the holiday stresses are finally beginning to disappear around here.

I tihnk last week was the most upsetting. The arguing just came out of nowhere... and then we headed to church.

Like I said, a lot of it has to do with stress. Yes, I'm fully aware I've barely been working (and "the check's in the mail" for the work I have done, of course) and if anyone thinks I'm sitting idly by thinking life's good.... well, maybe there's more to me laying awake until 4 in the morning. And then to be at church where I haven't felt welcome in almost a year. It's been a year since I resigned from the various positions/responsibilities I had at the church simply because I needed to focus on finishing school. Now, however, barely anyone talks to me and at the end of the service while my wife gets the kids, I stand by myself and hold onto their jackets. Last week, the pastor wanted people to share how they're feeling right now and person-after-person went up to talk about good things in life, or how they're dealing with struggles in their daily routines. I sat back and wondered if anyone actually cared. See, it struck me as I sat there that people only talk to me there when they want advice. I have a few 'friends' that are much the same way. If they need a suggestion or some advice, they come to me. The only thing I was thinking that day is "what makes anyone think I'm there to lead them out of the dark? I'm in the dark too."

Anyway, it's depressing. And 'depressing' has a pretty good hold on me these days. But at least today's been quiet.