Inspired

As much of a FAIL as blogging from the train has been (seriously, for every post published, there's 3 or 4 that vanish completely!), my phone has at least given me the opportunity to quickly jot down notes when some idea gets stuck in my head.

In fact, I just looked into printing everything out to try and physically organize my thoughts and to print it out would be 30 pages of notes at a 10-point font.

Crazy.

So crazy that some people give me odd looks when I'll suddenly stop whatever I'm doing and quickly jot down a note or two on something that's struck me as interesting. I don't want to lose the thought, but keep it in the moment. I like inspiration like that.

Twelve

Twelve weeks. I have twelve weeks where there's no need for me to drive to work. There's no deadlines, no overtime, and nothing stopping me from using the train.

Thank God.

The weeks leading up to our deadline were obviously getting longer and longer. I was putting in 12-15 hour days and then finding every day longer at the office also had a longer commute to the office. By deadline day, my normally 75-minute commute was over 2 hours. I was only spending 6 hours at home. Oh, the stress...

But now, it's a simple train ride to work and a train ride back. I'm leaving the office earlier as well which means I get to see my kids for hours instead of an hour.

Sadly, those twelve weeks will go by fast.

Bruised

No, this one isn't a follow-up to the last one. I've gotten myself motivated to get back into the gym and have hired a personal trainer to get me up to speed.

I started with a metabolic typing test, which told me which foods will help with getting me back into shape.

Shapes.

Shapes. I'll be getting more physically fit and be trimming off the fat as well. Ironically, by eating more fatty foods. Good fatty foods, though.

After the test, came the measurements, form testing (there is such a thing), and then an actual fitness test. The form testing was to check on my body's flexibility (which was laughable) and he tested my body symmetry as well. Not surprised to find out I'm asymmetrical, but he showed me some minor tweaking which improved some of the physical tests immediately.

The measurements actually did a number on me. When he started measuring the body fat --in all sorts of places I normally wouldn't someone venture!-- he'd pinch some skin and measure away. I have bruises on my right arm and right leg from the measurements. Crazy, eh?

And, ah, the fitness test. I haven't had a fitness test since high school and knew some the results would be laughable. At least in this case, I wasn't being told I was failing if I couldn't do something. It's the whole point of the testing: find out where I'm at and then how to improve. So what if I could only do 19 sit-ups and a single push-up (eep), the point was I did them and now I can work on improving the results and myself at the same time.

I had big, big fears about my weight. My motivation and lack of self-esteem after school really did a number on me. I was depressed for a long time and felt that almost everything I did had been a waste. So, I wasted away. When I left the job from Hell, I weighed about 185 pounds. In school, I weighed in just shy of 220 pounds. After school... I was too scared to check. Checking my weight isn't a motivator to lose it. It just adds to the depression. My fear was that I was headed north of 250 pounds and that was very frightening. 250 pounds is morbidly obese, even more than where I was after leaving work. I'm 229 pounds now. I'm 21 pounds less than my fears, but it's still a 70-pound track I need to run.

So, from here on out, it's a series of goals. I have milestones to hit and I have motivation. It's a long and winding road and the bruises will heal along the way.

Unloved

Gah, 2 weeks go by again without a post.

Yeah, I was brooding in my last post and it has led to several questions. Honestly, I'm at a loss as to why the sudden blow up from my wife. She definitely has trust issues with me these days and who knows... it could be a myriad of things causing it. I won't go into details, but I can only assume she's been compounding issues and laid it all out on the table that day.

Or at least I hope she's laid it all out on the table!!

It's been frustrating, to be sure. There's been a roller coaster of emotions over the past 2 weeks and I much prefer the highs over the lows. The one thing that continues to nag at me, though, is the permeating thought that my wife no longer loves me and doesn't want to admit it.

Brooding

People at work today could definitely tell I was having an "off day" today. While I tried my best not to be surly, the mood would get a little gloomier as the day went on. And to think this morning I was completely fine.

See, yesterday I made a mistake. I've always been a bit of an impulse buyer as it helps my mood. For the most part this week, it hasn't been bright and cheery. It's been quite the stress test and I've used every lunch hour to escape. And yesterday I spent $20 on some CDs. When I got home last night, my wife informed that she was having car troubles. Then she announced she'd decided to go ahead with some dental that isn't covered by my work plan. It's going to cost about $400 and who knows how much the car repairs will be. Needless to say, thinking about those high cost items, I forgot about the CDs in my bag.

This morning, my wife sent me a nasty email. She found the CDs in my bag and is mad at me for not telling her about them. She went on to say she has trust issues with me now and can' comprehend how I could spend money so carelessly. She wanted me to think about what I'd done and stew about it all day.

I relied immediately to her email, apologizing for not telling her about them. I was not defensive, even though... in my defense... I didn't think it was that big a deal.

I never got a reply. All day.

So, I was left to brood and, yes, stew for the entire day. The question is: What now? I've apologized and it was an impulsive thing. I seriously think, though, that I'm missing something if she has "trust issues" with me. And that's not a good thing to have me brooding about for a day.

It's not going to be a good night.

(from the train)

Ex

In Match, my solitary post was about an ex-girlfriend who suddenly reappeared in my life and announced she was a former prostitute-slash-heroin addict.

Crazy.

I have several ex-girlfriends listed as 'friends' on Facebook and on occasion, I find myself immersed in conversation with them. And, yeah, that's even crazier.

Last June, I met up with one whom I hadn't seen since we were teenagers. Her Mom never believed I'd turn up, so there were pictures taken... proof. I found out at the party that this girl had broken up with her steady boyfriend to go out with me. We went out once and it wasn't much fun....

Another ex in my friends list has married and divorced numerous times and started up a conversation we pretty much started at our high school reunion back in 2001. She's moved halfway across the country and back since then, and dumped 2 husbands along the way. And suddenly she's talking to me again and asking for relationship advice. And, as quickly as the conversation started, it ended. I have no idea what happened, but if she switches on and off as easily as this, I'm not surprised she's gone through so many marriages.

That was mean.

But as crazy as those two are, I have one ex-girlfriend on my friends list who really tops them all. She & I knew each other for years before we started a relationship. It was my first year of college and our first night together started out as a friendly game of Super Mario Brothers on my Super Nintendo.

A first night of passion by the light of King Koopa's castle.

She's now a madam at a bordello house and has some pictures online that have turned many a head when my friends have seen them. They're also more than a little jealous when I say "been there!"

There are numerous other exes on my friends list, but these are the ones that really stand out. All this tells me is that the women in my life.... throughout my life... have a certain twist to them that just makes life more interesting.

And always leaves me guessing.

Women

Between Facebook, the commuter train, and home, women are truly a focal point in my life. I'd originally written "women are truly becoming a focal point", but I know that's not true: They ARE a focal point.

Work doesn't count. I'm in a department of 80 people and there's 2 women. Of course, maybe that's why I'm going crazy right now. Girl crazy.

I mentioned in a previous post that there's a woman on the train who drives me nuts. I've called her 'Train Hottie' in earlier posts, but there's much much more to the story.*

At least 7 months ago, I was warned a high school field trip was getting on the train and sitting in the usual car where I would sit for the beginning of my annoying morning commute. I moved to the next car and it took a few seconds before I realized there was quite the attractive blond sitting in the next seating section. Over the months I've learned a few things about her. She sits with her Mom and some friends. She's married with 2 kids. Her name (but no mention of it here). Oh, and that she has back problems. I helped her up the stairs on the train one day as she'd just had surgery the day before... Always a gentleman... :) There was also a span of about 2 weeks where I was driving in more than I was taking the train, plus I was sick for a couple days and therefore not on the train for close to 15 days. When I walked up the stairs the next morning for the pleasurable commute, she was sitting in her usual spot, said good morning to me and followed it with "You're here again. All's right with the world." Very sweet. I paid her back this week when I commented on her haircut (it was a couple inches shorter, but still fairly long). None of her friends had noticed yet. Oh yeah, good job by me.

As the first to really catch my eye, she's now known as Train Hottie... #1.

Yeah, you can see where this is going (prepare for a long, long, LONG post!).

Train Hottie #2 has been mentioned in previous posts. She falls under the 'My God Hot' category. She's stunningly beautiful, always reading (occasionally wearing glasses, other times not), and has a smile that brightens up the day. I've seen the smile on rare occasions, which kind of makes them a special treat. I have one of those smiles to talk about, but that's for another time (but worth it --I suffer for it). I've been trying to figure out who she looks like and the closest I've seen is the actress Elizabeth Mitchell. Sadly, since I started the easier commute, #2 has only sat with me a few times, although twice in the last week. Yes, you can say I have a mad-on crush on her. One day I was very excited to see her on one of my downtown lunchtime excursions. One of my co-workers was with me and confirmed to the other guys in my office that I have good taste. Of course I do!

Train Hottie #3 totally reminds me of Kari Matchett (she's a TV actress who's been in several series over the past few years: 24, Heartland, Studio 60, ER). #3 usually sits beside me on both the commute in and on the way back. She's one of three I see on both trips. We barely ever talk, but when we do, she's very amiable. A great set of legs too. :)

Train Hottie #4 totally distracted me a few weeks before Christmas last year. She sits with a group of people a few sections down, but on busier days, they've squeezed in with me. She totally reminds me of my first girlfriend and when I discovered she shared the same name, I truly wondered if it could be her. (She isn't, though). The day I first saw her, she was showing off her new blouse to her friends. Now, most people would start out by saying they bought a new blouse and then ask if anyone wanted to see it (obviously, close to Christmas, it was cold and she was wearing a winter jacket). Nope, she whipped open her jacket and said "Whaddaya think of this?" And THEN followed up by saying she bought a new blouse... She wasn't asking me what I thought, obviously, but she did turn to me when she realized I was there and smiled, "Oh, your opinion counts too," she says. My only response (besides "uh-bahh?") was "that was distracting." She's not as attractive as the other hotties, but she makes up for it with her amazing sense of humor. Yes, she makes the trip go by faster.

All 4 Train Hotties above have similar characteristics. Blond hair, blue eyes. And while Train Hottie #5 also has the blond hair, she has extremely deep brown eyes that truly drive me crazy. I first saw her earlier this year and was completely stunned with her looks. I know next to nothing about her, as I've sat with her twice. Two other times, I've given up my seat for her with good reason. She's pregnant, and as I found out this week, she's about 6 months along. And to be honest, I think she's even better looking now than she was before. Oh yes, one of my coworkers congratulated me when I commented that TH#5 was pregnant. He told me he didn't realize women could have a baby simply by having a guy ogle them.

Jerk.

This post is longer than I thought and I haven't even hit (ahem, LOL) on the other women in my life right now. So, there's a sequel and I have a name for that post already. Stay tuned tomorrow!

*I was also mistaken when I said she was the 3rd woman who'd caught my eye. If that's true, I honestly can't remember who #2 is!

Vanishing

Apparently my idea to post on here via my new "smart" phone isn't very successful.

I had a great post I wrote today in about 45 minutes.

Nope, nowhere to be seen, I'm afraid. Despite Blogger's "ability" to save drafts automatically, there's no draft saved. No is there a post published after I clicked on 'Publish Post.'

Twice.

I'll try and write something more... soon.

(not from the train *sigh*).

Balance

When I started the new job, I knew the biggest risk was the temporary status in the contract. Essentially, I was guaranteed work for 6 months, with a good chance of the contract being extended. It was extended on day 1, actually. It turned out they needed me for 7 months.

My contract expires the end of August and in some ways, I was looking forward to the end. Oh, it's a great job, but I am tired... a lot.

And now my contract is getting another extension, 99.9% guaranteed. There's a slight chance it'll end early, but if it doesn't end early, then I'm most likely on for the long haul. Or Spring of 2009, whatever. I already have a contingency plan in place, in case the job ends unexpectedly, but it'd be nice to keep it as a contingency only.

At the same time, my wife has been offered a job that really answers a lot of the gaping holes in our life right now. The timing was perfect. So, naturally, she turned it down.

Muh?

My wife has decided she doesn't want to work much anymore and after years of scraping by, we're going to continue down that road for a while longer. I am not, however, upset about it. She's worked hard for a number of years, doing more than her share of the financial contributions. So, it's my turn for a while... or forever. Unless there's lottery winnings in my future.

So, the balance remains. We'll be no further ahead, financially, but maybe our relationship will improve... that's a good balance.

(from the train.)

Point

My faith in humanity is dwindling to nothing very, very quickly.

I have to drive into work twice a week at the moment and the commute is, once again, really getting to me.

In MY opinion, I'm an above-average driver. I'm not a great driver, by any means. I'm also not a horrible driver. I speed, yes, but you're not about to see me run red lights or stop signs and speeding in playgrounds and school zones will never NEVER happen. But comparing me to other drivers out there these days.... my God...

To my American readers, these numbers are kilometers, so please don't think it's miles. Do the math if you really want to know, but understand some of these speeds are f-a-s-t fast!

I have 2 bridges to cross on my commute in. It's usually the faster route and even in Springtime, the slower route can get a little frosty in the heavily wooded, turns and add in some fog and they're not the type of road I want to be driving on before sunrise with people doing 40-50 over the speed limit of 80.

So, the freeway is my way right now.

Leading up to the first bridge is a tight, round onramp with a maximum speed of 60. The bridge itself is 80. Most people on the bridge these days travel around 110 or 120, some go even faster. On the onramp, the fastest I've seen people go on the max. 60 onramp is about 120. Until this morning, that is. This morning, I was keeping up with traffic (doing 90) when a girl passed me. I figure by the speed she passed me, she was doing 140 to 150. So, close to 3 times the legal speed limit.

Once I got on the highway (max. 100), I kept up with the morning traffic as we sped along at 110. As we approached one hill, a semi was in the fast lane and they slow down big-time when they hit this particular hill. So, we were fortunate that he pulled into the outside lane as we started up the hill. Too bad for Dude in the SUV, who thought he could pass everyone in that lane. Even worse for Dude was the fact that his lane was slowing down and the fast lane was now speeding up again and he'd have to wait for a chance to get back in.

He decided not to wait, though.

Within a couple seconds, I nearly had a hood full of black SUV as he forced me off the road. If it wasn't for the wide shoulder in that particular spot, I would've gone into the grass and down an embankment, most likely rolling my car. This particular area shows numerous "scars" along the edge of the road where cars, trucks, and semis have been pushed off by aggressive drivers. And here I was, a couple feet from the same fate. Fortunately, I hit the brakes and stayed on the pavement. As I looked up, leaning on the horn (usually a universal sign of "pay attention to me!"), I saw another universal sign: his middle finger waving at me.

Within moments I was doing 140 to catch up to him and get the licence plate number to contact the police. And, as I dialed 911, he slammed on the brakes and I nearly slammed into him before I once again saw his middle finger and he sped off.

But I had his plate number, and we were headed straight into the jurisdiction of one of my friends in the RCMP. A quick call to the RCMP had a cruiser waiting about 10 minutes' drive further down. If they didn't get him for reckless driving, he did them one better by blasting by the cruiser doing over 150 (which is the speed I was at trying to catch up to him). I'm sure he was angry because he would've lost at least 10 seconds by having to wait to get into the fast lane legally...

But these 2 crazy drivers was not the end of the day's driving adventures. In the last block before my office building, as I walked down from my parking spot, a van pulled into the intersection a stopped. He was dropping his 20-something daughter off, I'm assuming to go to the ESL school in the neighboring building. As he she got out of the van, she walked across the street towards the school...

Right into heavy traffic. How this girl did not die and how no one smacked their car in the sudden screeching of brakes and turning of wheels is unbelievable. And she never looked up to even acknowledge that she might've done something wrong. She just continued across the busy street.

So, my faith in humanity is dropping quickly. In 34 years, it's gone from the 100% everyone starts with, down to a point or two.... like 0.2%

Not more than that.

Found

I found one of the missing posts. I guess it stayed as a draft after I hit publish... The other, however, is long gone.

I'll have to figure out what went wrong.

~from the train.

Jake

"But this could be a bad year for the family. And that's where the coping really hits home. See, her oldest 2 daughters, both in their 80s, are watching their husbands' declining health. It's likely both husbands will not see 2009. One for sure, the other it's hard to say."
~From 'Passed' - February 23, 2008.

Last Wednesday morning, I was thinking back over the latest "weekend that wasn't" and was thankful that for a couple hours on Sunday afternoon I'd gotten a chance to honestly kick my feet up, lay back on the couch and RELAX. It had been a while and I figured it would be a while longer before I could do it again. It was while I was riding the train to work that I realized I should've done one thing that Sunday afternoon: Visit Uncle Jake in the hospital.

Uncle Jake's been sick for a few years, had a lung removed because of cancer, had a brain tumor removed, and gotten over various illnesses in between. He'd always been strong, but the cancer was back for round 3 and not many people make it through 3 rounds of cancer. For the second time in 2 years, the family was called to his bedside, and this time people knew he wasn't going to make the recovery he did the first time around.

I visited with him the first time and he was so thankful that people were visiting. It kept his spirits up, even when things looked awful for him. He held my hand tight the entire 90 minutes I visited with him. I even sorted out the problems he had with the portable DVD player his grandsons had brought in so he could watch videos of his favorite hymns.

So, there I was on the train thinking to myself: "I should've gone in." I decided there and then that going in at 8 at night was acceptable. I could go in after work. Of course, being Wednesday I knew it would be next to impossible, so I might cut work early to get in an see him. It was decided.

When I got to work and opened my email, the message at the top was from my wife, titled "Uncle Jake."

Uncle Jake passed away last Tuesday night after drifting into a coma earlier in the day. His breathing had slowed to a halt and within moments he was gone. He leaves behind 4 children, 13 grandchildren and a handful of great grandchildren. His funeral was today.

I never got to see him again after the funeral in early March. I'll miss him.

Rest

Wow! I had a single post for the entire month of March. Come to think of it, that's one more post than I read on anyone's else's blog.

Wow.

And to think it just got busier at work. Well, the plan behind the cell phone with the keyboard was to do the writing thing. It's not working out, seeing as how this should be my 4th post for April, but it's somehow my 2nd. Yep, there's 2 mystery posts... somewhere. I'll get back to them another time, I guess.

Work is busy. I'm at work between 55 and 60 hours a week and then you can tack on 2-3 hours of commuting every day, so I'm basically gone from home for 13-15 hours a day (or 70 hours a week on average). And now it's busier.

Sadly, coming home does not mean resting. This is a quick update just to say "still alive and still trying!" but my schedule's packed and my official weekend off and time for "rest" should start sometime late Sunday night.

No wonder people get burnt out. And that's without having a family to deal with!!

Eep

My wife had a job interview with one of my old departments yesterday. I knew about the interview and I knew about the department.

I didn't know who all was in the department now.

I knew Cee was there and my wife would be working right next to her. The head of the department loves me (I was one of her favorites when I was there (gah!) 8 years ago). My wife told me last night that the department head's assistant is Sex Caffeine.

Yep.

SO NOT what I was expecting to hear.

It led to a sleepless night. See, Cee (ha!) was one of my confidantes at work and my official sounding board for the trials and tribulations I was going through with Sex Caffeine back then.

And now they work together. And my wife be joining them.

What was it George Costanza said? "Worlds are colliding."

This can't end well.

(from the train).

Cell

The first post in quite some time, I know. I'll make it special.

Short but special.

I finally got a new cell phone, an HTC 640, which has a QWERTY keyboard. So, this blog entry comes both from my phone AND while I'm onboard the train. Ha!

Fear not. This post may be short, but I'm saving up a bunch of stories... including the return of Sex Caffeine.

Yeah... I said it.

Red

There's some debate over when we originally met and things got... interesting. I say it was 1992 or 1993, but there are hints that it was 1990 or 1991. SHE seems to think it was 90/91 and she's most likely right on this. Sad, really, as all things considered I should have the better memory of it...

I think.

Whatever the case, sometime between 1990 and 1993 (yeesh), I met a girl named 'Red.' Obviously not her real name, but you get used to that, yes? Red was cute, totally cute. And yeah, now that I think on it more, 1993 doesn't work because I was in a heavy relationship then. So, sometime in the early 90s, Red and I met at a function for the youth group we were involved with back then. As I refer to it "in another life."

I was one of the leaders, more like a student council leader than say an adult supervision-type role, so this isn't getting creepy or anything. I'm not that effing old, after all. The early 90s were still "part" of my teen years....

Gah, so far not really staying on topic.

Red & I met at a function. I know I was outside the building with friends, talking about... whatever. There's a good chance we were joking about something and it was definitely at night and cold. Red came up to talk to me and introduced herself in what could only be referred to as a "totally awesome" introduction for any (horny) teenage boy. See, it was a cold night and she grabbed my hand, placed it on her breast to feel the 'THO' (more commonly known as 'SNE' = Sudden Nipple Erection), which ultimately (and quickly, I might add) led to a similar occurrence on my behalf. My friend standing with me, asked for proof of just how cold it was, but he was shunned.

It was 1990. I stopped talking to that guy in my senior year of high school. She was right.

For a couple of... sporadic nights over the following months, she & I had a thing going. It didn't last for whatever reason (probably because I got back together with 'My First Love' once again). We drifted apart and never saw one another again after I split from the youth group in 1994.

I don't usually talk about this, but we actually had a scare back then that, had it come true, would mean I'd have a child just about ready to graduate from high school. That's a BIG scare...

Still, we drifted.

After '94, I found myself looking for more in my life and ended up at church. Years pas, marriage happens, so do kids finally (and on purpose!) and I find myself still struggling with past issues and "hang-ups" but also taking on a role of responsibility at the church. I think most people forget I started going to the church in my early 20s and spent no time there with their youth program. Thus, there's always levels of confusion when people do hear stories from my past. I wasn't an innocent church-going, God-fearing young boy. Nosiree.

As time passes, we come to last weekend and I'm walking my kids into the church. I see a display stand for a program run in the nearby community and there's a redhead standing by the display, talking to people. I look twice, but think "Nah.... there's no way." And I move on.

I tell my wife about the redhead and comment that if her name is... "Red" then "We have a past." (polite way of putting it, hm?)

My wife goes downstairs during the service to help take care of the kids and I make my way to the office to help with my... responsibilities. There's 4 of us in the office and I comment: "If that redhead in the front row is named "Red", we have a past." Not even a minute ticks by and a lady in the church is talking about the community program. She introduces one of the leaders of the program and calls her up to speak.

It's Red. We have a past.

Red introduces herself and begins to speak of her troubled past.

It's Red. We have a past.

She describes her years of homelessness, living on the streets in one of the worst neighborhoods in Canada.

It's Red. We have a past.

She goes into vivid detail about her addictions to IV drugs. "Mainly heroin," she admits.

It's Red. We have a past.

She talks of her move into prostitution and into abusive relationships.

It's Red. We have a past.

The other people in the office take all this in and look back to me. "That's some past."

It's Red. We have a past. But not that past.

Red's been clean for 2 years now and heavily involved in helping other women clean up and get out of bad relationships. She's working closely with a lady from our church. A lady just coming back from countless years working in Africa. Red will return to Africa with her for a brief stint to help her shut down her work there.

It's Red. She's speaking about Africa. We have a past.

Red & I have since caught up have reminisced upon our past together, which she agrees is definitely another life. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if our little scare turned out to be true. It's hard to think on that and know the pain she's obviously been through. But she's back in my life and we're talking again. And we're talking about Africa.

I haven't finished writing about Africa because I don't know how to end it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just thinking about something that won't happen or if my timing's just "off." But Africa keeps finding its way back into my life, which means I have to finish writing about it soon.

And I may yet have another chapter about it too.

Postcards

Having a random thought day and not really motivated to do anything else... So, just quick little blog entries for now :)

The Postcard thing is still happening and driving my best friend crazy. The 4 latest countries to send a postcard to him: Kuwait, Peru, Argentina, and Burkina Faso.

Awesome.

In my original post about the postcard joke some 4 years ago, I mentioned a song I was listening to at the time. Here's a version of it:


And yes, he is indeed singing the song in his bathroom. They were practicing some of their songs for a new album and they videotaped all the bathroom sessions and included some of their other songs from previous albums. :)

Impressed

3 weeks are done at work and they've me they're impressed. I came onboard during a major deadline crunch and got to work right away --screw training and orientation. I learned on the fly.

3 weeks, 150+ hours of work, later and they're impressed. Good! I'm tired, but I still have a bounce in my step as I head to the office.

Train Hottie's around, but she's returned to sitting in another area where she originally sat when I started sitting in that car. Train Hottie was actually the 3rd woman I'd noticed on that specific car (nice car!), but took top status because she's, well, the hottest. :)

I need a life.

But even her reign may be over as there's yet another hottie frequenting the train. Nope, never sat close to her, but she's walked past a couple times and I've sat with her on the rapid transit afterward, but.... wow.

Hehe. On a side note --of sorts-- my nickname at my job previous to this one was "Ol P.", which stands for "Old Perv" because I'd notice the girls before anyone else. :)

Passed

My wife's grandmother died this past week. She was just shy of her 102nd birthday, so I don't think it came as too much a of surprise that she passed away. It wasn't like she was sick and suffering for very long. Her health was in decline over the past year or so and her mind was slipping as well. But no one can deny she had a long and good life.

She had 4 daughters and 3 sons, one of which died in infancy. Each of the surviving 6 children are still with us and have gone on to have large families of their own. It isn't until you get to our generation that the number of children declines from 3-4 to 1 or 2. For the most part, anyway. Some have had 3 or 4, but others are more urban in their thinking and don't have space for large families. Needless to say, the last family gathering at Christmas had 70+ people there and that was just the offspring of her children. 5 generations in total, celebrating Christmas. That's a good life.

There are some taking the news of the matriarch's passing pretty hard. At first I had difficulty understanding clearly why they weren't more prepared for this. To me, I saw it as an inevitability.
A woman over a century old should be expected to pass away and the blessing of having her in fairly good health for so many years beyond expectation should just lead to a time of "this is it." Her latest great-grandchild was born at the beginning of February. Everyone expected it, why can't they cope with the passing of a family member?

Seems harsh, I know. And I'm not trying to detract from her passing in any way. She'll be missed and missed greatly by a huge number of people. She had a huge, loving family that extended throughout the church family as well. A church she helped establish. She has a huge legacy she's passed to her family and that family is now spread across the globe, working in basically every continent doing missionary work.

A huge family. With no death.

And that's when I clued in. The family's taking it hard because the last death in the family was in the late 1980s, early 1990s. Her husband died of a heart attack while gardening and the family took it hard. Death is not a common factor in the family, despite it's size. To think some of her grandchildren are away at university without knowing a death in the family shows that.

But this could be a bad year for the family. And that's where the coping really hits home. See, her oldest 2 daughters, both in their 80s, are watching their husbands' declining health. It's likely both husbands will not see 2009. One for sure, the other it's hard to say.

She had a good life and we get to celebrate that on Tuesday. I'm not sure where we're going to put everyone though. She's touched a lot of lives.

Cars

I gave my parents my car. That's the easy way of putting it. Their car has a wonky transmission, their truck is a gas guzzler, and my car is barely being used with me switching to mass transit for my work commute.

So, the car stays under my name, but my parents can drive it for the next 6 months. And pay the insurance too. :)

I have my parents' vehicles too, now. The truck is in the driveway and the car in the garage. Everyone hates driving the truck and I'm annoyed my Dad turned down a $5000 offer for it because he wanted $5500. Now he'll be lucky if he can get $4000 for the stupid thing.

Somedays we have to juggle things around here if I'm forced to drive to work. The truck would cost me about $70 in gas to get it there and back and that's not worth it for anyone.