Bruised

No, this one isn't a follow-up to the last one. I've gotten myself motivated to get back into the gym and have hired a personal trainer to get me up to speed.

I started with a metabolic typing test, which told me which foods will help with getting me back into shape.

Shapes.

Shapes. I'll be getting more physically fit and be trimming off the fat as well. Ironically, by eating more fatty foods. Good fatty foods, though.

After the test, came the measurements, form testing (there is such a thing), and then an actual fitness test. The form testing was to check on my body's flexibility (which was laughable) and he tested my body symmetry as well. Not surprised to find out I'm asymmetrical, but he showed me some minor tweaking which improved some of the physical tests immediately.

The measurements actually did a number on me. When he started measuring the body fat --in all sorts of places I normally wouldn't someone venture!-- he'd pinch some skin and measure away. I have bruises on my right arm and right leg from the measurements. Crazy, eh?

And, ah, the fitness test. I haven't had a fitness test since high school and knew some the results would be laughable. At least in this case, I wasn't being told I was failing if I couldn't do something. It's the whole point of the testing: find out where I'm at and then how to improve. So what if I could only do 19 sit-ups and a single push-up (eep), the point was I did them and now I can work on improving the results and myself at the same time.

I had big, big fears about my weight. My motivation and lack of self-esteem after school really did a number on me. I was depressed for a long time and felt that almost everything I did had been a waste. So, I wasted away. When I left the job from Hell, I weighed about 185 pounds. In school, I weighed in just shy of 220 pounds. After school... I was too scared to check. Checking my weight isn't a motivator to lose it. It just adds to the depression. My fear was that I was headed north of 250 pounds and that was very frightening. 250 pounds is morbidly obese, even more than where I was after leaving work. I'm 229 pounds now. I'm 21 pounds less than my fears, but it's still a 70-pound track I need to run.

So, from here on out, it's a series of goals. I have milestones to hit and I have motivation. It's a long and winding road and the bruises will heal along the way.