My Real Christmas Day

Oh man, was I sick for Christmas.  We went over to the in-laws place on
Christmas Eve after church.  It's a traditional thing to go to one of my
wife's relatives on the 24th.  The usual spot has been off limits for 2
Christmas Eve's now because of a messy divorce/separation thingie.

I wasn't feeling too good that night but shrugged it off to being tired.  I
lasted a good 4 hours on Christmas Day itself before heading home and crashing. 
I got up once on the 26th to go to the bathroom and headed back to bed until
about 10:00 on the 27th.  And then I only felt a little better.

I'm feeling much better today and was surprised by the number of people asking
how I was feeling.  Most people don't notice when I'm not around, so it's
always a shock when there's genuine concern.  That, along with a few people
saying they missed seeing me over Christmas, threw me for a loop.

I would've started re-thinking this whole My Year thing, but then my
father-in-law interceded...

My Christmas Day

Why do I bother with a Gift List? 

Every year I'm asked to put together a list of things I'd like to have for
Christmas because I'm "so difficult to buy for."

And I do it.  Every year, a new list of the things I'd like.  DVDs,
CDs, clothes.... whatever.

And every year I don't get a bloody thing on the list.

So why do I bother?

I do it so I can remember all the things that are best left for me to buy --and
when someone sees me buy them and asks, "why don't you wait?" I can point out
that the waiting is forever.

I'm still waiting for the Beatles Anthology CD box set.  That was, what? 8
years ago?

I'll get it on my own, thanks.

This year, the big thing I wanted was a leather jacket.  Had a couple of
DVDs listed too, but the big one was the leather jacket.

I'm picking it up tomorrow - December 29.  My Christmas day.

I'm also picking up the DVD I really wanted as well as the next couple of books
in the series I'm currently reading.  All on my list.

So my Christmas is a different day than others --been done before.

My Sex Caffeine

So it's kind of become a running joke that I can't share with too many people
(ah, the irony --people who know me too well, that is) that the one who freaked
out about coffee meaning sex and made me think...

This picture (c) Me.  2003.  So, bleh

Around the same time, the local phone company starting running a commercial with 'Love Machine' by The Miracles and the song stuck in my head.  I started thinking, "I could be her 'sex machine'... No, no!  Her 'sex caffeine.' Jackpot!" And thus, the sex caffeine era began.  Now, don't get worried or confused --there's no actual sex involved!  I mean, good Lord, me having sex is a rare occurrence... me having an affair? Not gonna happen! It was later on I found out that there were indeed rumors about the two of us floating around the office.  It didn't help that last Christmas we disappeared behind the closed doors of my office and watched a couple of movies on the DVD player in my computer.  Think of being outside the office and a couple disappears for a few hours only to emerge after much giggling.  Yeah, not a good thing...

We also did have that tendency to go for coffee once or twice a day and for a
while we went out for lunch or to each others' office for lunch.  On one
occasion, we even went for dinner.  In essence, we had an affair in every
sense but physical.  There was no [to quote a line from
Andy Richter Controls the Universe] 'slappity, slappity, boogedy,
boogedy, boom.'  Could there have been?  I don't rightly know...

Well, I do know actually and the answer is a resounding

Quite.

Possibly.

Yep, there were feelings there for me and I subconsciously recognized them. 
Co-workers noticed we were getting closer even if we didn't.  In fact, this
past summer, one co-worker came right out with "Oh man, she's got it for you!"

I didn't see it and then a friend of hers did. 

And she freaked out.  Big time.

Are we still friends after all this?  Well, sort of.  We do still
talk.  She actually left work shortly before I moved form the department,
so it was like a quick break-up.  The irony is, once she landed a new job
the emails started coming in... 'let's go for coffee.'

It was uncomfortable at first and then she started dropping by more often. 
One of the last time she came by before I went away for my vacation (some
vacation --I stayed at home for 3 weeks...) we were having coffee on the
restaurant patio and they were doing some renovations.  This guy looks at
us and apologetically says, "Not too romantic, eh?  Ha ha."

"Yeah.  Hah ha.  Ah, shit."

To make things even more interesting, I found out she was coming back to work in
a matter of weeks.  I'd be away, but I was concerned things might go too
far again once I came back.  Once I was back, we did go for lunch for my
birthday (although she admitted to ditching me on my actual birthday --the whole
reason I came over to the office that day anyway --still on my 'vacation.') and
had coffee a few times, but then something happened.

I had the balls to confront her on the subject and she admitted to it.  The
problem was, I was admitting how I felt too.

And how it just wouldn't work.  She's too good for me and her values are
better than mine.

So now the game goes on.  We get together with other people for coffee
and/or lunch, although I put my foot down last time when a few people started
insulting her and I refused to be there another minute if they continued their
rants.  Visiting her office doesn't work anymore as my old boss (her
current boss) is suspicious that something is up.  So, I stopped doing the
email thing.  Not outright.  I test myself every week and see just how
long I can go without emailing her or her emailing me.  Some weeks I win,
but most of the time she does.

But this past week was the ultimate test and now we see if I can continue into
My Year in 2004.  She was one of the people who dissed me with the whole
gift thing.

Is it over?  Right now I'm hoping so.  I'm gonna try and be caffeine
free for a while.

We'll see if the game begins again in My Year.

My Innuendos

[This is another re-post from last Spring, but there's more
news, so I thought I'd post again...]

Last week was "one of those weeks" at work.

Over the weekend, a friend at work had one of her friends suggest that
"going for coffee" is an innuendo.  Coffee means sex.

Now, I love coffee. Some days I can't get enough coffee. It perks me up. It
keeps me energetic. It keeps me focused.  It's cheap. I bought a 99-cent
blue-glass mug that holds twice as much coffee as your regular-sized mug. I pay
$1.10 every time I fill it up. After three fill-ups, I've paid for the mug.
After 10 cups, I get a free fill-up. It's cheap and it's great.  Coffee
usually comes in a black liquid state and depending on who you are, you may add
cream and/or sugar to it. Some people even go further and add specialty flavors,
whipped cream and various forms of sugar. It could almost be said that no two
cups of coffee are exactly alike.  Coffee tastes best when brewed at 98
degrees. It brings out the most flavor and the most caffeine.

As a child -and now I see why some people say coffee stunts your growth-I used
to sneak the remnants in my father's mug when he wasn't looking. So, I even like
cold coffee.

But coffee means sex?

"A little sugar," yes. "a dab of cream," alright. "A
quick pick-me-up," you bet. I've never thought of "going for
coffee" to mean sex.

Around the office these days, there are a lot of moves occurring. It's kind of
like professional sports. We get traded between departments every once in a
while. There are not a huge number of moves, but when they do happen, everyone
wants to talk. "Where are you going?" "How's the new guy going to
fit into a different team?" It's just a fact of life working here that if
it happens to you, you're going to have to talk about it. A lot. Around here,
though, instead of just coming out and asking everyone wraps the questions into
an excuse. And the excuse is usually....

"Going for coffee."

And this year I'm moving. And the offers to go for a cup of coffee are
increasing exponentially.

Now, I have a regular crew that I go for coffee with on a daily, if not
semi-daily, basis. Suddenly, one of those colleagues has been told that coffee
means sex. And nothing anyone says can change her mind.

My biggest problem is that I'm trying to explain that coffee arrives hot in a
mug and ready to drink. It's a substance that perks me up. It's the exact
opposite of sex. Let's be honest, the last thing any man does after sex is perk
up.

If coffee is sex, I'm doing it wrong.

If coffee is sex, I'm also the biggest slut at work. Whilst trying in vain to
explain that coffee and sex are vastly different characteristics of survival
("sex is for life as coffee is to the working week"), people tend to
drop by wanting information on the office moves. "Let's go for
coffee!" they say. One woman working in my new area, and to whom I've
spoken to at least 3 times in the 2 years she's worked here, said she's so
excited because now we can "go for coffee!"

Everyone stops by for coffee and every time they do I start to snicker and
giggle like I'm 13 and back in class with the gym teacher trying to explain sex
to us. He did a better job than my parents did, though. "Here. Read this
book" was as close as my parents ever got to "the talk." And by
the time they got around to giving me a book to read it was too late anyway.

Actually, if memory serves, the gym teacher had 5 or 6 kids, so he probably
wasn't the best person to discuss abstinence with us teens.

Aside from the coffee talk becoming a sexual innuendo, there's also some others
that crept into conversations.  I usually ,on a monthly basis, hit a
Mexican restaurant nearby with a couple of former co-workers (worked with them
prior to a big move back in 2000). 

Note to self: Have to get them to stop referring to it as a
"threesome."

One friend at work bought a horse that just so happens to share my name. 

Note to self: Have to convince her that the horse needs a new name before
even more people raise concern over her "sore hips from riding."

I carpool with a number of people living close to me.  One of them recently
bought a new Seabring convertible.  She shouted at me down the hall that we
were going home early and topless...

Note to self: Remind my car pool people that the top down on the convertible
is referred to as 'TOP DOWN' not 'TOPLESS.'

None of this would be so bad, but these things all happened in front of this one
friend.

My eBay Thing...

Over the past 5 years or so, I've been a buyer/seller on eBay with relatively
no problems.  Well, the problems would come in batches and that's usually
when I'd take break.  

Recently, I had a few big items that I knew would sell on eBay (and for a lot of
money) and I thought: 'This is going to be the make or break for me.' 
Either this works for the best or I stop selling things on eBay --for good.'

So, I sell 4 things for just over $3500 to 4 different people.  One in
Arkansas, 2 in New York, and 1 in the Netherlands.

Case #1:  Arkansas bound.  This guy paid right away and
I sent it out right away.  The post office tracking information let me down
though as there were no updates on the package until the day it arrived 6
days later.  Yes, I was worried.

Case #2: The Netherlands.  It took a few days for this guy to
respond.  He finally did and said he'd be paying via Paypal.  That's
fine, that's what it's there to do for me.  A week goes by and
nothing.  I email him again and he says there was an error with my email
address and his payment went to a fake email address.  He says he's
cancelling the payment and it's taking longer than he thought.  In the
meantime he starts complaining that I sent him the wrong email address.  It
was an automated email and the address is correct.  In fact, he sent me the
message in his reply and the address is correct.  Idiot.  I'm still
waiting for him to pay and it's now 2 weeks later.

Case #3:  New York state of mind.  Nothing.  He
paid, I sent.  He's happy.  Or at least he's quiet.

Case #4:  New York state of mindless.  Paid quickly and
I sent the same day as the other 2 items.  Arrived in the U.S. 2 days later
and has been making its way to New York City ever since.  By Wednesday of
the week it was to arrive, the emails began.  "Where is
it?"  "I need it by Christmas." "Why aren't you
answering emails?"  That was day one and all within 15 minutes of each
other.  Thursday saw a few more messages the same (and responded to all of
them and asked him to be patient as it was taking time this close to the
holidays).  Friday started with a panicked message that the package had
been delivered to me.  In reality it was an email server message
confirmation stating his messages were delivered to me.  I clarified that
with him and then early the next day received a message from a conflict
resolution company affiliated with eBay.  I'd been accused of fraud and he
was requesting his money back, especially since he hadn't heard from me in days
(in reality 11 hours).  I requested a mediator and passed on all
correspondence sent from Da Loser.  To make matters worse, this person is a
student at a fairly prestigious university in New York.... I guess entry
requirements have slipped recently.

Depending on how these 2 annoyances end up, this may be it for me on eBay. 
The frustrations these two have given me far outweighs anything I've dealt with
over the years.  Oh! So frustrating!!!

My Last Bit of Christmas Shopping

This was supposed to be the good year where all my shopping was done early
and All I had to do was wrap the boxes as everything was delivered to me. 
I love online shopping and thought I was done.

The big problem was buying stuff for my wife.  I was reluctant at first to
pick anything up at all after she dissed me for my birthday.  Nothing. No
cake. No presents.  No.... nothing.  She said in late September she'd
gone to one shop to look for something (they're a big --HUGE!-- electronics
chain selling TVs, DVDs, CDs, computer stuff, etc.), but said she couldn't find
anything.  

Nothing.  

For me.  

That's virtually impossible.  I've got to be one of the easiest people to
buy for. I'm constantly buying things for myself on eBay (somebody has
to).  I love movies, I have eclectic tastes in music and books. 
Nothing.  Couldn't find anything for me.  Please.

It made Christmas shopping difficult.  I'd see things I'd like for her, but
was adamant that I wouldn't get her anything.  Of course, a few weeks back
I bailed and decided to get her something.  A little something.  When
I went to go shopping, she shouted at me, "Don't buy anything too
expensive!  Money's tight!"  so, everything I looked at I
second-guessed myself and wasted a day of shopping and not buying anything.

Last week, I went to go again and we got into a fight and I didn't go.

So, today was the final opportunity I had to go shopping before starting work at
Noon.  My plan:  Get to the mall when it opens at 9:30.  Get my
shopping done by 11 or 11:30 and then get to work and go for a quick
run.  

Simple.  For anyone but me.

For me the morning starts with an upset son and a stumbling daughter.  And
once the daughter stumbles, she starts crying and that sets off the upset
son.  And 9:30 rolls by quickly while the wife decides to take a long
shower.  Long shower is followed by close to an hour to get dressed (she's staying
home all day, how long does it take to get dressed to stay home???).  I
finally leave, quite perturbed, at 10:35.  

By the time I get to the mall, it's 11 and I only have a little time before
work.  As I'm wandering around the mall, I realize I've left my boss' gift
at home.  Left in a such hurry that it stayed on the dresser.  And
he's leaving today and will be back in January.  Crap.  I'll have to
get another gift while I'm out.

Most line-ups aren't that bad, at least not as bad as I was expecting.  I'm
able to pick up most gifts quite quickly.  That is, until I hit the
bookstore.  They had one long line-up snaking through the store before you
got to the three cashiers.  As I got closer I overheard the cashiers commenting
that the debit/credit machines were down and they could only take cash. 
Everyone at a cashier was using plastic and they all were insisting that the cashiers
try again.

And again.

And again.

Good lord.  I finally shouted out, "I have cash!  I have one
book!  Can I cut in line!?!?"  Talk about dirty looks from the
people in front of me.   gave them another 5 minutes before I
left.  Was I that evil?

I had to drive to another mall to get my boss' gift.  I'd bought such a
cool thing fro him, I wanted to get it again so I needed to drive a bit. 
Ended up getting a spot just outside the front door of the store. 
Weird!  People were driving all over the lot looking for spots and there
was one right in front of the door.  I knew I needed to rush to get the
gift both because I was running out of time for work and was worried that the
parking spot was too good to be true.  I actually walked right in and found
what I was looking for right by the cashier.  And there was no line.

After all this, I made it to work on time and still didn't buy anything 'big'
for my wife.  Too bad, I guess.  I'll write a note saying she can go
spend a hundred bucks at the store of her choice (I have no idea where she wants
to shop these days --it changes too much).

So, Christmas shopping was skewed by done --and done before December 24th so I'm doing better than most men...

My Nutty Professor

[This is actually a re-posting from a different
list I contribute to on a fairly regular basis...]

One of the geography professors here died of a heart attack on Thursday,
November 20, 2003.  He was one of the 'foundations' here at work.  He was one of
those profs that had the university almost literally built around him in his
office in what we call "the Motel."  The Motel reminds me of my old elementary
school.  It has that moldy/mildewy smell and creaky feel to it that reminds me
of the milk and cookies I got one time at the principal's office when I was
brought in after a doctor's appointment.  It's an old building that felt like
home.

He was in that building for close to 25 years and for at least 18 of those years
has waited semi-patiently for it to be torn down.  The government finally, after
12 agonizing years, okayed it's replacement to go up in 2005.  He said, "When
the ball hits this building, I'm popping the champagne to celebrate my
retirement."  One of the poli sci profs lamented with him that the Motel would
outlive them both.  He's half right.

He was an unexciting professor, to say the least.  I took two courses with him
and although my marks were good, I dreaded those courses.  There was one segment
of them that grabbed me though and to this day, I still use the techniques I
learned in that segment whenever I travel (it was a field study course, after
all).  I remember the bus trips, when he would grab the microphone to talk to
the class while we headed... wherever we were headed.  I'd be sitting in the
back of the bus and my friend "H" would be about halfway up.  He always blew
into the mic to make sure it was working and I'd bug "H" because her head would
bob almost immediately as she dozed off.  Me, I had my earphones on and he would
ask, "Can you hear me?  Can you hear me in the back?"  I'd give him the thumbs
up and turn the volume up as far as it would go.  I never listened to one of his 
lectures on the bus.  Ever.

But there's another story about him that not too many people know.  He was in
love with "H" and "H" with him.  He was married at the time and so was "H".  In
fact, he waited for "H" to get a divorce --as he had-- in order for them to be
together.  But "H" remained married to her husband and waited for her sons to
finish school.  In 1994, he remarried, but "H" remained near him when he set up
his own research office.  She was his assistant.  This year, she finally
divorced her husband.  He also divorced his second wife.  They were going to get
married in 2004.  He'd even bought the ring.  "H" found the ring over the
weekend.  

He and "H" also introduced my wife & I.  My wife was a geography student and I,
history.  "H" always told him if he did nothing else, he got to see people fall
in love.  And he did.  Twice.

They were just leaving on Thursday to do some Christmas shopping when "H"
thought he was making fun of her.  But when she turned to look at him, he was
already turning gray.  He died instantly of a massive heart attack.

"H" has lost the only man in 15 years she's really loved.  She got to be with
him for 9 months and a lifetime to remember the time they spent together.

 

My Straight and Stronger Course

Email sent out, Tuesday 8:30am: "Hey guys, 
I have your Christmas presents down here in the office.  Drop by any time
to get 'em and I'll most likely have some coffee on for us too!"

Email reply #1, Tuesday 9:42am: "Hey back, Can't make it, sorry.  Maybe
later?"

Email reply #2, Tuesday 10:03am: "I'll see if I can come down.  Busy
day today."

Email reply #3, Tuesday 10:05am: "I've got to be honest - today's not a good
day for me. But go ahead without me or maybe we can try again Monday or Tuesday
(tomorrow's out, too).  Or in the New Year."

Email reply #4, Tuesday 10:57am: "My moment of quiet has expired and I must
also pass.  I have stuff until at least 3:30 today.  But on Monday or Tuesday I
am open to some fun."

Email sent out, Tuesday 3:00pm: "Wow.  Dissed by everyone.  Thanks. 
Well, I'm outta here for the day and am here for 16 hours tomorrow.  I
guess we'll talk later."

Email reply from #3, Tuesday 3:40pm: "Crappy day tomorrow, huh?  Good
luck and glad it's not me!  See
you next week (or maybe tomorrow afternoon if you're coming to the Dean's party
- free food!).  Have a great rest of the week."

Email sent out, Wednesday 7:20am: "I'll think about next week and let you
know."

...and these are supposed to be my friends.

I have some issues to rethink when My Year starts in 12 days.

When it comes to giving gifts, you'd think people would be happy to drop by and
get it or even just say thanks.  Nope, I get the brush off.

From my 'friends.'

I went through something similar just as I was heading into senior year in high
school.  My friends called me up shortly after midnight on my birthday and
told me they just realized it was my birthday, but they were drunk at a party
they were having.  That Fall, they weren't my friends anymore. Screw 'em. 
That was early 90s and by the mid-90s I was only speaking to a couple of my
so-called friends from school.  I'd moved on.

So maybe it's time to see about changing my friends again. Why put up with this
again?

My Funny Co-Worker

One of my co-workers knows next to nothing.  If nothing were a big hole
in the ground, she'd be the one flapping her arms trying to keep herself from
falling in.

This week, we've been discussing the usual amount of useless knowledge the rest
of us have and she oblivious to everything --but wants to take part in the
conversations anyway.  I mentioned to my boss that I'd heard that Lloyd
Axworthy was going to be the next president of the University of Winnipeg. 
Aside, from the fascination that I'd know something like this, my co-worker,
we'll call her 'Piper,' had no idea who he is or what he's done in his life (a
former Canadian Foreign Affairs minister once nominated for a Nobel Peace
Prize).  Somehow our conversation drifted to Helmut Kohl, the German
Chancellor (Piper didn't know Kohl or what a Chancellor was --so I explained
that to her as well).

(would you give this man a hat?)

So, the story with Helmut Kohl is that he'd been drinking a lot on the flight to Calgary.  When he got off the plane, the mayor of Calgary was there to present each G-7 Summit dignitary with a white cowboy hat --the symbol of the city of Calgary.  Kohl took the hat and jammed it down hard on the mayor's head (think about how painful it is when you put on a hat that's too small and it crushes your ears --now imagine someone else doing it). The moral of the story?  The German chancellor's a bit of a dick.

We were also talking about this crazy guy in the area who talks to the trees
and shrubs on campus.  My boss thought of Bill Murray in 'Caddyshack' which
is a perfect description of this guy.  Piper has no idea what Caddyshack is
and my boss explained that it was a golf movie.  She thought she must've
seen it if it's a golf movie (she is a golf nut after all).  My smart-ass
comment was, "That's where the 'caddy' comes from..."



We've also made fun of her since she doesn't know who Fonzie is and was quite
concerned for my boss & I when he sang the Anniversary Song from Flintstones
when he found out it was my 6th anniversary working here. 

Sad.  Piper says it's because she has a life --but how can anyone say they
have a life and not know who The Fonz is????

My Picture of the Day

I love this picture... so cute!! (good Lord, was that me???)

My Year to Come

Whilst putting my socks on yesterday morning, I made a decision.  As my
toes ripped through the fabric and I grabbed a second pair only to have the same
thing happen, I made a decision.

2004 is all about me.

Me.

Me.

ME.

It was the mid-1990s when I last put myself in the forefront and broke through
the barriers in my way.  I left the group of friends I had and moved on to
new friends and associates.  I broke up with my long-time girlfriend. 
I buckled down at school.  I went to England.  I bought a new car.

Somehow, over the past 10 years I've managed to wiggle my way back into a
depressing hole of putting others before myself. Not that there's anything wrong
with putting others ahead of yourself, but isn't it also good every once in a
while to be a greedy bastard looking out for yourself?

And what the Hell do socks have to do with this anyway?

My wife's closet has expanded/bulged with new clothes for years to the point
that this past year she started putting clothes in my closet (which really isn't
a good thing when I'm in a rush to get ready in the morning and grab one of her
blouses).  Meanwhile, I have 1 pair of jeans that aren't stained or torn
(usually in the crotch and at Christmas time, you really notice that cool winter
breeze).  I have a couple pairs of socks that aren't completely
deteriorated to the point that at least one toe isn't out in the open.  My
running shoes were bought in 1995 and my everyday leather(esque) shoes are from
1998.

This past weekend, after running my ass off for a good cause, I'd already decided
it was the last year I'd be doing it just because I'm exhausted and find it a
really thankless job.  That thanklessness was accentuated on Sunday when
they had a big 'thank you' for all the volunteers and named each one
personally.  They skipped me.  They also managed to take all the
pictures during the 5 minutes I wasn't there. 

Sweet.

So 2004 is all about me.  I've already started the New Me Year. 
Pictures of me from the summer look vastly different than the guy typing this
right now.  I've gained muscle and lost weight.  I'm dressing better
(by sneaking clothes to work so that my wife doesn't flip out that I've spent
money on myself).  I'm also exuding a lot more confidence than I did even 6
months ago.

Look out world.  There's a whole (new) me coming soon!

My Bad

Mental note: When someone asks you "Who are you sleeping with?" Laugh, and brush the question aside.

Don't blush.

I'm such an idiot.

My Jealousy

Oog. I just and checked my website. I haven't updated it since July 20th, the day after my son was born. How I found the time to update it then I have no idea.

I have no time now, that's for sure.

To make matters worse, I always feel like I'm competing with a similar site even though his is so much better than mine.

Do I give up?

I should, but for some reason I still think I can make it work.

One of these days...

My Return to Work

Oh crap.  That week went by quickly.

I'm back in the office and my email is overloaded with junk.  577 messages
about enlargements, viagra, prescriptions, and... 'giving her what she needs
this Christmas.' [time off from her husband???]

Over my week off, I had:

*7 emails from people around the office asking me questions (one of which was
answered during the week).

*5 emails from people I hang around with at work (mostly hockey pool stuff and
Survivor comments), all of which I responded to.

*6 phone calls from panicked co-workers (the ever lovin' co-workers from Hell
never know when to stop) about things they weren't sure about and obviously (to
them) couldn't wait a week.

So, I'm back and we'll see how the week goes.  I read a horoscope that
said to take each workday one at a time and it would be liveable.

We'll see.

My Busy Weekend

The alarm went off at 5am Saturday morning and I was off like a shot to start
cooking turkeys.  I'd been told over a week earlier that we were cooking
for 90 people.



When we put the turkeys in the oven, we were told that it was actually
200.  Not sure on the exact numbers, so we decided to make as much of
everything else as we could --aiming for 120 people.



For hours we mashed, mixed and cooked potatoes, veggies, dressing and 5 big
turkeys.  And then we heard that they were expecting 120 people for the
lunch and we felt much better as we had food for at least 120 if not more.



It was 120 people, but we only needed to cook for 60.



So, our good cause for the day turned into a good cause for a number of days as
the leftovers should still be served for a few days into this week.



I got home about 4 in the evening and had to get ready pretty much right away
for the company Christmas party.  I was so tired that I had this feeling
I'd be the first person carried out of the party --not for drinking-- but for
falling asleep.  Exciting times, I'm sure.



I had my times mixed up for the party and it was cocktails at 6 and dinner at
6:30.  I left home for the 20 minute drive at 6:25.



The place for the party was confusing as it was an outdoor resort with several
buildings set aside for such functions and all were in use that night.  I'm
wandering around the woods in the dark peeking in windows to see if I recognize
anyone and don't.



To make matters worse, I'm passing cars with our parking passes in the
windows.... they gotta be around here somewhere!!

Finally, I see a familiar face in the first building I'd passed by.  I'm
cold and wet, but I finally made it to the dinner  even later than I'd
thought I was going to be.



I got inside (snuck in a back door to get in too) and saw that the people I was
supposed to be sitting with were in the buffet line so I snuck in with them to
grab a plate.  



Sadly, they'd given away my seat since I was late and said I could still join
them (good thing, or I would have had to sit with the Deans) if I could find an
extra chair somewhere.  While waiting in line, I started trying to think up
excuses for carrying a chair across a semi-crowded banquet hall. 
"Someone stole my chair" was the best I could come up with.  Then
I realized I didn't have any cutlery either.  "Someone stole my chair
and all my cutlery while I was getting my dinner!"  



What a lame excuse.



Fortunately, a co-workers' husband made it to the table first and walked over to
the dean's table and grabbed the chair and cutlery, explaining they were for
'the boss'.  This guy had no idea who he was talking to and they watched to
see who was sitting in the chair.



Hehe.



Dinner consisted of a choice of turkey or vegetarian lasagne.  I had lasagne
as I didn't really want to see another turkey for quite some time.  Of
course, Sunday night's dinner was going to be turkey for my family's Christmas.



Sunday rolled around and we worked furiously to get the turkey cooked and
served.  Then it was time to open presents.  My mother's philosophy is
that any history book she's interested in will make a great gift for me. 
So, while I mainly focus on Victorian England, my mother's gift added books on
the war of 1812, Medieval art, and one on Celtic saints.  Hmm.



In the days of digital technology, you'd think the last thing I'd want is a
VCR.  But both of mine crapped out a few weeks' back.  I've found that
there's about 10 shows I really want to watch, but they're mostly on 2 nights of
the week.  By taping them on 2 VCRs, I have a couple of hours' viewing for
each night of the week.  As it is, one of my favourite shows jumps around
the schedule so much that I've resorted to downloading the episodes and watching
them on the computer --usually late at night when I'm typing things like this.



By the time my head hit the pillow I was ready for a good 24 hours' sleep. 
Sadly I had 5 hours to go before my return to work.

My Homecoming

Left Friday morning about 9 to head back to warmer weather at home.  My
parents were planning on leaving about 30 minutes after me for the trip back and
they had concerns about finding my car in the ditch while they drove a fair bit
behind me.



As is usually the case in my family, 'something comes up' and for whatever
reason, my parents didn't leave shortly after me.



In fact, I'd driven the 5 hours home when they called to say that they were 20
minutes outside of their own home...



Concerns raised about my father's age and the declining speed of his car to
coincide with it were immediately raised, but my father assured me that my
mother had decided to buy a new dress for the weekend and that had taken nearly
5 hours of shopping to pick one out.  So, instead of the old-man-driver
stereotype we were dealing with the woman-shopper stereotype.



Beautiful.



I made it home quickly and safely and knew I only had a short time before things
would get busy.  Again.

My Doodle

One other good thing about being away from it all is I have a chance to sit
down and draw again.  I've written a story that this picture goes with and
hopefully I'll finish the whole thing before I leave on Friday.  It's been
swimming in my thoughts since about Easter, but this is the first opportunity
I've had to put it on paper.  It's done in red ink and I think that's why
the image looks so pink.  The paper WAS white.

(clicking on this picture will open a larger sized image in
another window)

My Solo Vacation

I've been working at the university for 6 years now and have taken a total of
7 weeks vacation.  2 weeks have been close to real vacations, one to
Pennsylvania, Washington DC and New York and one to Ontario for a family
wedding.  I took 3 weeks for the birth of my son and the other 2 were to
study for exams.

I'm given 3 weeks' holidays every year but lose them unless I specifically
request that they be held for another year.  I haven't done that and it's
actually a good thing since I'd still have close to 10 weeks to take off. 
As it is, my new job has resulted in a lot of overtime and I have to take it as
time off.  That's another 8 weeks that I need to fit in by the end of
March. Don't really know how I'm going to do it, but the temptation to add it to
an education leave has been there.  Trying to get any "ME" stuff done
around the house is virtually impossible and I find that I'm retreating to my
sister's place on numerous occasions to handle the stress and just to have some
"me-time."

I'm on a week's holidays right now and headed north to my parent's home in
the north Okanagan.  Why?  I can't afford to go anywhere else and I
can justify going solo to my parents.  It's thinking time for me and I can
rely on my parents' wisdom with issues in my life.

I laugh as I write "parents' wisdom" as they've never been good at dispensing
wisdom in the past.  In fact, my father's wisdom when I was buying the
house was to hold off on cashing my Bell shares for a few more days to take
advantage of the dividend cheque worth $300.  I waited a few days, got the
dividend cheque and went to cash in shares that had dropped nearly 20% from the
date I'd originally intended to cash them.  So, I earned $300 and lost over
$5000 on the shares. 

My parents wisdom also helped out my sister years ago when she debated moving
to Australia for a year.  She'd pretty much talked herself out of it, but
my parents insisted that she look at her options for work and friends at home at
look at the bigger picture.  They finally convinced her that moving would
be a good idea and when she announced her plans, they blasted her with
everything she hadn't planned out.  It's probably the first time I ever
felt sorry for my sister and she stood in the doorway sobbing with confusion. 
It wasn't the first time I yelled at my parents, but it was the first time to
defend my sister.

But if there's one thing my parents seem to have done right it's marriage. 
They've been married for 35 years and seem to still lvoe each other.  They
drive each other crazy but you can still see something there.

I think I've lost that 'something' in my own marriage and need their wisdom. 
I need to know what my 2004 should look like and I think they can help me with
that.  I know it's going to be a year with changes --I just don't know how
many changes there will be.

So, I'm here for the week.  I come home on Friday (with my parents in
tow) and try to have an abnormal 'family Christmas' over the weekend.  I'm
cooking turkeys for a Christmas lunch for Union Gospel Mission for Saturday. 
I'm going to the university Christmas party on Saturday night and hoping to
recover in time for a family Christmas dinner on Sunday.

My Links (this week)

404 - File Not Found

Error message with attitude

Lunch

Oh! Yummy!  OH!

The
Olympics

Very funny flash

Obey the Suit

Funny ad for a tailor

My Inevitability

It happen eventually and today was the day.

I dropped my 4-month old son on his head.

Fortunately it wasn't a big drop or anything.  In fact, my arm was
underneath him the entire time, but he still bumped his head and cried up a
storm

(not that he wouldn't've cried anyway --I think he's been
'relatively' happy for about 3 hours in the past 72...).

My son has this tendency to arch his back whenever he decides the position
he's in is no longer acceptable.  Arching his back means he can roll over
quickly and abruptly and make his way to the edge of the couch, chair...
whatever.  He was in his swing and started to get restless and I went to
comfort him (pick up and cradle for about 40 minutes is the true definition). 
I took the crossbar off and undid the strap.  My daughter asked me a
question as I went to lift him out and he arched his back at that exact moment.

No crossbar to block him.

No strap to hold him in.

He was clear of the swing chair and falling to the hardwood floor just over a
foot below the swing.

I was on my knees when he arched out of reach and I leaned forward to catch
him.  I tried not to hit his head on the chair and managed to catch him
just above the floor.  That quick a movement, though, meant his head
flopped and it banged on the floor.

And he cried.

He almost arched out of his high chair tonight as well.  That would have
been a 3-foot drop to the floor.

Just another notch in my bad father book.

My Massacre

 

'Let It Snow' has struck my email account again. This becomes a problem when
you correspond with too many people. You let your sense of humour out and all of
a sudden everyone thinks they 'have to share' emails like this:



"SPLAT!!



You have just been hit by a snowball! To continue the fight just throw this
snowball at 5 friends!"



Fine.



I got hit by a snowball. Happened enough in my younger days that I appreciate
people having fun.



But this isn't a snowball fight anymore.



It's a massacre.



This morning alone I've been hit by 172 snowballs.

My Never Ending Song of Love

I've got a never ending love for you

From now on that's all I wanna do

from the first time we met I knew

Id have never love for you



I've got a never ending love for you, 

from now on that's all I wanna do

from the first time we met, I knew

I'd have a never ending love for you

after all this time of being alone

we can love one another 

feel for each other

from now on



its so good I can only stand this

never ending love for you

from now on that's all I wanna do

from the first we met I knew

I'd sing my never song of love for you

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do....



after all this time of being alone

we can love one another 

feel for each other

from now on

its so good I can only stand this

never ending love for you

from now on that's all I wanna do

from the first we met I knew

I'd sing my never song of love for you

One of the athletes at work got this song stuck in my head a few weeks back.  It's used in a car commercial right now and it is a catchy song.

Kill me please.  It's gotta stop.

Oh yes... The version I'm listening to is by the 'New Seekers' so if you're a download addict you know where to find it and who to look for...

 

My Cats

Took these pictures this morning and then shooed the boys downstairs as they
attacked the kitchen table.  Brat-cats.

 

My Boss

My boss is a decent enough Calgarian, but today he decided to play the Ass.

Boss: "Was there a hockey game last night?"

[uh-oh! I thought, he found out! Crap!]

Me: "Uh, yes. There was. WHY?"

Boss: "Just curious. There was nothing in the paper this morning."

Me: "Oh...?"

Boss: "Who was playing?"

Me: "Calgary and Vancouver..."

Boss: "And Vancouver won, of course right?"

Me: "Uh, no..."

Boss: "NO?!!?! Well, that's interesting! LOST to Calgary, hmmm? What was the score?"

Me: "4-1."

Boss: "Four goals you say? Well, will wonder never cease! And Iginla? Did he manage to score?"

Me: "Twice."

Boss: "That goalie, Turek, must've played one great game!"

Me: "Turek didn't play..."

Boss: "No Turek?!?! Well good for McLennan!"

Me: "...he didn't play either."

Boss: "No Turek? No McLennan? Are you telling me the third-string goaltender beat Vancouver?!!?!?"

Me: "I guess so..."

Boss: "Isn't that interesting?"

Me: "Not really. I'm supposed to be the sarcastic bastard in this department!"

My Vacation

So, yep, taking the next week off of work.

Now working at a university you'd think I'd take more time off. We're already closed from December 25 - January 1, but I'm only taking next week off.

See, the week I come back, there's no more exams which means...

No more students.

It's a time to get some work done without numerous/constant interruptions.

You can also be a bit lazier with the work as you enjoy the quiet.

Thus, I'm taking next week off and then going back for 7.5 days of semi-quiet bliss.

I'm taking January 2nd off as well. No way am I working another Friday like that!

In 1998 I worked on a smaller satellite campus and got stuck working on the Friday after a week off for Christmas break. I was the only one in the building all freakin' day. By 4:00 I vowed never to work another Friday like that again. I even pulled out the phone book calendar and saw that 2003 was the next January 2nd like that. And this year, fortunately, I remembered about it and booked the day off.

This is after one of my co-workers freaked my boss out in mid-November. She told him I had to take all my holiday time and banked time (a.k.a. time off in lieu of overtime) by the end of the year... It's the equivalent of 9 weeks total between the two. He was quite worried until I explained that it's the fiscal year, not the calendar year...

Still have to fit in 8 weeks by April 1st... hehe

My Playlist

The music currently streaming into my headphones:
1. Police - Every Breath You Take
2. Outkast - Hey Ya
3. Black Eyed Peas - Where is the Love?
4. Fountains of Wayne - Stacy's Mom
5. Afro-Celt Soundsystem (w/. Peter Gabriel) - When You're Falling
6. 54/40 - Casual Viewing
7. Genesis - A Winter's Tale
8. New Seekers - Never Ending Song of Love (*I'll explain later...*)
9. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen the Rain
10. Police - Everything She Does is Magic
11. Hall & Oates - You Make My Dreams Come True
12. R.E.M. - Bad Day
13. Depeche Mode - Just Can't Get Enough

So, yeah, I'm on a bit of an 80s kick right now....

My First Blog

So, here it is. Jude, the displaced Newfie Brat in Nova Scotia forced my hand here.

Not the first time she's done that, I might add.

Her blog can be found here: http://dreamazone.blogspot.com/

I'm contemplating my week as I don't have to head into the office again until December 15th and then it's only 8 simple days until I'm off for another week-plus.

Took nearly 50 shots of the kids tonight for a Christmas card. Just to get that perfect shot.

And I got it.

Well, once I merged 2 shots into one in PhotoShop anyway...