Phoot!

So, a few years back, I went to the doctor because I kept losing my voice. This was at a time when I needed to talk at work. Constantly. Losing my voice meant not going to work and as appealing as that was, I knew corrective measures in my health were necessary before corrective measures at work were taken instead.

What was discovered was instead of my known allergy to cut grass, I had a flurry of other allergies that really cut into my diet and such. It made sense, because I'd always known there were some foods that made me feel a little "off" even when I'd been feeling fine.

So, on doctor's orders, (and this was just as I was starting my health kick) I had to drop several types of food:

• whole wheat bread
• carrots
• corn
• apples
• peaches
• pears
• almonds
• celery
• anything with gluten

Cut out a lot of healthier things to eat and suddenly the healthier lifestyle takes a bit of a turn. Years of effort by my wife to get me to eat healthier suddenly vanished.

I went to see a nutritionist and if she's like any other nutritionist, I'll never bother again. For the record: My cholesterol is fine. LDL, HDL, triglycerides: all good. Everything is good. So, when I see the nutritionist, I'm armed with my cholesterol numbers and voice my concern about having to cut fruits and vegetables from my diet. I want suggestions for alternatives, not a suggestion on how to cut down on my... cholesterol. So, yep, she spent hours suggesting foods that will help me cut down my cholesterol.

I guess the only way to talk to a nutritionist is to have bad cholesterol.

A somewhat recent problem I've been having is with a little something no one really likes to discuss.... well, okay, no one except for boys and most men. Gas.

I've been getting bloaty more and more over the past few months and I'm almost always belching or... erupting down below. So, it's time to looke into it, yes?

Well, the advice is: cut down on carbohydrates. Not cutting them out completely, but enough to "ease" the pain. So, it's time to stop eating:

• dairy
• broccoli
• peas
• beans
• radishes
• cabbage
• cauliflower
• apples (done, allergic!)
• raisins
• prunes
• bananas.
• no fatty meats
• no fried foods
• no soda pop
• decrease fibre.

So, what does that leave?

Coffee. Black. And keep it coming!