Time Is Wasting

The one good thing about writing assignments coming due is it gives me an excuse to watch all these movies on the computer.

FYI, 50% of my computer screen hold the Media Player and the other 50% is for Word, FrontPage... Firefox. :-) The benefits of a 19" screen, yes?

I went out and picked up 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' for $6 the other day. I love this movie!! It's just way too funny!

I remember a bit on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update with Dennis Miller. Downtown Chicago had flooded from some broken pipes or something and entire city blocks had been shut down. Dennis Miller said that they had a suspect for the broken pipes: Ferris Bueller.

I'd heard once there was going to be a sequel after he got out of college and started working. I guess nothing ever became of it.

How's this for wasting time instead of writing for school?

Little Man You've Had a Busy Day

Alright, my son's been a busy boy and refused to have his afternoon nap for me again today. This really sucks because he has this look like:
"Yeah, you could be working, but I'd rather slap you in the face for the next 10 minutes or so."
Little punk.

But today was actually a very very busy day for my daughter. She had her graduation ceremony from pre-school today as well as the season-ending ballet recital. We had lunch with all the grandparents in between, so she was a pooped princess in a flower costume by the time she made it home.

No, I wasn't at the recital as someone needed to take care of the little punk of a boy.

Next year --when hopefully I'm not as busy myself.

Is This the End?

Oops! Sounds ominous, but I'm not talking about quitting this blog or anything!!

Let's just say it's that time of year as we watch all our fave TV shows come to a close for (hopefully) the season and will (hopefully) return in (hopefully!! Scrubs!! Alias!?!?!) the Fall.

Yup. It's cliffhanger ending time!! So, I thought I'd give a rating (out of 10) for my favorite shows' season enders: Do I have to say SPOILERS PEOPLE!!!
(I'll type 'em as they come to me)

1. Grey's Anatomy - 7/10. T'ain't nothing wrong with a sudden wife's appearance during a romantic couple's date, right?
2. Lost - 9/10. OK, quite a number of loose ends were taken care of (but the monster's caused more questions) and we did see another character die (and yes he has been around since the beginning of the series!!). They blew the hatch open, Charlie's got drugs again, Walt's been kidnapped and Sawyer's been -presumably- shot and left for dead. C'mon September!!
3. Scrubs - 6/10. Honestly, I can't remember how it ended. I think Eliot left to work at another hospital, so...
4. Desperate Housewives - 8/10. More loose ends taken care of and a bit of a "hunh?" at the end, so yeah I'll anticipate it again in September!!
5. Without A Trace - 8/10. Well, I think everyone was expecting a certain FBI agent to die (on the operating table anyone?) but that didn't happen. Instead, we end up with Danny & Martin on the wrong end of a hail of machine gunfire. Uh-oh. Potential death and destruction give it a higher rating over mysterious spouses (Grey's Anatomy).
6. Alias - 10/10. I thought, after last year's 2-year amnesia/Vaughn got married cliffhanger, that Alias would take it a bit easy this time around. Nope. After saving the world, Sidney & Vaughn take off for a bit, he says he's not actually Vaughn, their original meeting was no accident, a car slams into them, fade-to-black, What the Hell? Please tell me I don't have to wait 'til January, ABC!!!!

I think that's it for my fave shows. If anyone else has something they'd like to mention, please feel free to comment!!

OK, one more thing while I'm on a TV theme here...

GEORGE LUCAS:
If you're seriously thinking of doing a live-action Star Wars TV series occurring between Episodes 3 &4.... pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don't do a "Young Luke Skywalker Adventures" series. Take a look at the failure of Young Indiana Jones with the whiny/bratty Corey Carrier playing the young boy. 19 of the 44 episodes were about the whiny boy and the rest were really cool shows with Sean Patrick Flannery, which would be the equivalent of Luke at the beginning of Ep. 4.... Just don't... PLEASE?

Violent Crimes

Finally got a chance during my extremely late night last night to watch Quentin Tarantino's 'CSI' episode(s?).

Tarantino definitely has a "thing" about him with whatever he gets his paws on, eh? I think the first thing that comes to mind with Tarantino is music.

He always finds an appropriate song for any incident. And to this day I still get the "heebie-jeebies" when I hear 'Stuck in the Middle With You' and think of the one scene in 'Resevoir Dogs.' And I guarantee you, if you don't recognize 'Misirlou' by Dick Dale & His Del-Tones... you will. How 'bout 'Twisted Nerve' by Bernard Herrmann?

The music sets the story in some ways and in others DRIVES it. And you're left with a visual for, well, when I think of Resevoir Dogs, YEARS.

But in CSI, the thing that really stuck out to me was Tarantino's other gift: pop culture. Anyone else remember board games like 'Dukes of Hazzard'? Oh man, beautiful memories there (not just about George Eads being tortured either!)! Adding some pop culture reference (the Royale with cheese speech from Pulp Fiction or the Madonna Like A Virgin discussion in Resevoir Dogs) helps build the characters by adding a level of humanity you might not normally get out of these tough guys. When Mr. Pink waxes poetically about the deeper meaning of 'pain' in Like A Virgin, he comes across as a poet instead of a weasely jerk (which he actually was).

So it's the pop culture references that really stick out in this case.

So, yep, enjoyed the episode (or 2) and extra kudos to George Eads' acting in this one. He really suffered a lot in the finale and the suffering still seemed prevalent afterward.

Don't Get Married

I'm procrastinating from schoolwork, but that's usually the way it works. Too bad I have a Midnight deadline and it's 8:26pm...

I've been "over the whole Sex Caffeine saga for quite some time now. Our near-affair/potential disaster-complete-with-explosion has already passed the "2 years ago" mark. Our email messages dwindled after I left work back in October and I think there's been maybe a dozen since.

So, my daily-plus contacts with her have decreased to less than 1 message every 2 weeks.

Cool.

Except today I got a message from her about her upcoming wedding. I know I've mentioned the engagement --or at least the boyfriend in previous posts. It was one of the catalysts that the unhealthy relationship we had at one time was actually in "a good place" now.

But the wedding invite's done 2 things to me:
1 - It's a chance to see her how I've pictured her for quite a while.
2 - It's finally a chance for some real closure. To see her married.

The only problem is that the wedding is on my last day of the semester, so I most likely can't make it to the wedding. I'm hoping there's a reception or something.

I really need the closure right now.

Tick Tock

My wife's mad at me right now because I got mad. Not at her, but just mad in general.

See, last night I said I was having a late night (meaning 2 or 3am before bedtime) because I still had work to do before Friday. And I knew Thursday was going to be an unproductive day what with it being garbage day, my daughter's preschool day, and my wife was planning on getting her hair done this afternoon while my son has his "nap." So I stated that there wouldn't be much time.

My wife hates it when I don't come to bed at an early hour, but in situations like this, it's unavoidable. But, to alleviate any annoyance on her part, I promised to be in bed before 1am. Good compromise, especially since she said I had "all Thursday morning" and "a little while Thursday afternoon."

So, for my painting this morning I managed to get the garbage out to go before ten, but then had to wait until my wife showered, then I showered, before heading down to my office to get the painting done for school tomorrow afternoon. It was 11:30 before I got started and 45 minutes later I was back upstairs ready to convince my son it was "naptime" so I could get back to my work. My wife's hair appointment was at 12:30, so she should be back by 1:30, maybe 2 at the latest.

So, by 3:15, still losing the battle with my son, my wife walks in *finally* from the hairdresser's. I'm furious, and she's saying I'm mad at her.

Nope. I'm mad because I should've stayed up really freaking late last night to get my work done instead of relying on the "all morning" and "a little while" of the afternoon turned out to be 45 minutes in total.

Now she's gone to work (and not talking to me) until 9pm and I have 2 kids to take care of.

I leave for school 6am tomorrow morning.

Sleepless night anyone?

If I Were A Painting

Today's a painitng day and I don't mean around the house.

I'm painting a picture of a cathedral where one half will look larger and the other half smaller.

I've completely forgotten WHICH colors & contrasts make things larger and smaler though.

Crap.

Could be a loooonnnngggg day!

Asshole

This thing killed me a few minutes ago (oohh, like "real time" blogging) on Patton Oswalt's site about a recent show in Youngstown and I HAVE to share:

Weird reactionary moment: A young comedian dropped in to do a guest set on the late show. At one point, he made a clumsy joke about Third World kids making his clothes for seven cents an hour, and how evil that was, and a lady in the front row piped up: “Someone had to make ‘em, asshole!”

Oh, still laughing!

Give It A Name

Today's been a day of coincidental conversations. I'm just filling out a blog commentary on the origins of my nickname 'Hairyhoser.'

Dreama started it. So it's her fault. She & I were "classmates" through the University of Waterloo and after I called her a brat, she called me a 'hoser.' Well, being a little on the hairy side myself, the 'hairy' was soon added and the rest is history.

Dreama also said something about my "funny accent." This from the woman from Newfoundland, whose ex0husband mumbled something some might say cold have been English, but I never really figured out what he said to me. Hell, he could've been asking me about a ride back to British Columbia and I would've agreed simply because I had no frickin' idea what exactly he'd said.

Next thing you know I'm wearing a pirate shirt.

So, while I'm writing the comment, I get an IM message from Latina Lady. She has a question: "What does hairyhoser mean?"

See? Lots of questions and a somewhat simple answer.

Thus the legend of 'hairyhoser' is understood. I hope.

Ain't That Just Like a Dream

From a recent Blog Explosion...:

What Your Dreams Mean...

Your dreams seem to show that you're very preoccupied with your fears and problems. These bad dreams indicate that you need to spend more time on your issues during the day. You tend to be a very productive thinker. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. Your dreams indicate that you have very conflicted feelings. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind. You secretly want to hide your dreams from your waking mind.

What Do Your Dreams Mean?

Everytime the Phone Rings

How bloody annoying is this?

Since Monday, I have received 12 calls from the same phone number on my cell phone. They've never left a voicemail message and I've tried to return calls to them to find out who they are, but to no avail.

But 12 calls without a message?

I've since added the number to my "personal" call display under the name "dduuuhhhhrrrrr."

Just leave a damn message already!!

Chewbacca

I told you to embrace your inner geek. 13 hours into Day #1 of Star Wars Episode III and I will be in the theater enjoying it!

Show starts at 1pm and my wife & I will be there with bagels tied to our heads!

Oh yeah!!

[I'm kidding about the bagel thing. I hate bagels]

Suicide Is Painless

Reason #7483427582345623478056082365784326527564738 why I need a camera phone...:

My wife is an electoral officer for the provincial elections today. EO's work in teams of 3 with one supervisor. My wife's "partner" is, well, she's....

Take Loretta Switt from M*A*S*H, put her on acid for the past 20 or so years, and dress her up in the zaniest colors ever!

And now you have an idea what my wife's partner looks like.

And why I need that damn camera phone!!

The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth

Today a debate broke out in class. The teacher commented that the Death Star wouldn't blow up the way it did in Star Wars because there's no oxygen in space.

OK, a couple of points:

1. Not sure WHY you brought this up today, bud, but I think the point you were trying to make was that you can't hear anything in space, therefore, there would be no explosion. Please, tell me that's what you meant. Because if you start into a rant about there being no oxygen in space and therefore no way for the Death Star to *combust*, then we have a problem. 'Cuz all those people on board weren't wearing oxygen tanks now, were they?
2. Why -oh God WHY- would you dare even tihnk about starting a Star Wars debate in a class full of computer geeks?

Granted, we're all geeks. Every one of us. I know a guy, K, who could probably get some from a different girl every night if he so chose. He's got money, a very nice car, looks... and he plays video games incessantly and loves Dungeons & Dragons.

B is a pothead, but you an see the former athleticism abandoned after high school. Again, he has the looks and although he doesn't have the money, he has the drive to get it. He admits to being addicted to The Sims.

I'm not very athletic (I dabble), I'm very sociable, intelligent and if I had money I'd know what to do with it. While I can't (CAN'T) have a different woman every night, I damn well know how to treat them and treat them well (if you get my meaning). Oh, and I love comic books, Star Wars, and online RPGs.

But I will not, never oh ever get into a debate about Star Wars, Star Trek or be able to tell you which exact episode so-and-so boinked such-and-such an alien. Nope, don't care. Give me the story over the mechanics, thanks.

I don't let my inner geek shine on a daily basis. I'll show him off occasionally, when the time is right. Sometimes, it just ain't a good time.
and, yes, the few people I talk to who knew me a year ago can't believe they're actually seeing me (a more real me than I was in 2004). I've done the difficult in some ways:

I've embraced my inner geek.

Bad Trash

We got home last night around 9:45 to discover that although our garbage was gone, our toilet was still sitting at the end of the driveway. Yep, I'm officially a yokel now, because I have a frigging toilet at the end of my driveway.

There was a note on the ground a few feet away and it took three reads before we finally found the word 'toilet' listed amongst the "not permitted" list.

They'll take a fridge, but they won't take a toilet.
They'll take a television, but they won't take a toilet.
They'll take a dishwasher, but they won't take a toilet.

So, anyone want to guess what the environmental impact is of each?

I did a little bit of an internet search and this is basically what I found.

1. Fridges have PCBs. PCBs cause cancer, affects the immune and reproductive systems and many other problems.
2. Dishwashers have been known to cause cancer (well, through the heated chlorinated water anyway)
3. TVs?
   

Who's Going to Take the Garbage Out?

Today is 'Spring Cleanup Day' in town. It's the day on the schedule that the garbage trucks come out and pick up any crap you have to throw away. Yep, the broken toilet is now sitting at the end of the driveway, ready to be taken away.

I've always been.... unsure about 'spring cleanup.' Not the idea of cleaning crap out of the house, but just looking aorund the neighborhood. People have been putting junk out by the curb for over a week. And for over a week there have been old stained mattresses, broken TVs, rusted out barbecue stands, and, yes, cracked toilets. But over a week of this looks rather embarrassing, I think.

Another thing that bothers me about it is that there are items that could have easily been donated to thrift shops and there are 3 in town. One house (I know the landlord and he's been fairly patient in allowing them to stay despite the lack of a full payment of rent in months) had three 27-inch TVs in their trash. THREE. Could these have been taken down to a thrift shop, repaired and sold with the money being put to a good cause? Apparently not. And then someone came along and took them anyway.

Now, taking that into account, haivng this crap out for a week means there are scavengers driving around and grabbing trash from everyone's houses. Some of it's just taken away, but others rummage through and leave a bigger mess than before. And while some are seeing things they could possibly use at home, some people drive around and pick up every broken-down lawnmower or every TV. You know they're making money off of it, or at least trying to.

Of course, what I really hate is having our old toilet at the end of our driveway. Yick!

Breathe Again

OK, now that the latest Amazing Race is over, thank God Rob & Amber didn't win.

Uchenna & joyce played a classy game and I'd like to think most people were rooting for them because of the way they played. I mean, even at the end, neither was willing to run in, win the million THEN go back and pay the cab driver. Nope, they begged money off people and nearly lost the race because of it.

Classiest scene: At the final checkpoint, Alex (of Lynn and Alex) was praying "Uchenna & Joyce, Uchenna & Joyce, Uchenna & Joyce." Ah, the power of positive thinking.

So, maybe this proves to some people that people get what they deserve. When it came to the final flight to Miami, Rob was pushing to get on the earlier flight, screaming "Please, my mother." And it wasn't any help. They got on the plane by going to the gate, but Uchenna & Joyce basically just said, "Please, we need to get on that flight."

Here's a question: Who would believe someone being filmed by a TV camera is actually rushing in an emergency for their "mother"? Anyone? Anyone?

Just nice to know when the race was finally over that I could breathe again.

And no, I'm not watching Rob & Amber's wedding on May 24th. Media whores to the max.

A Strange Day

It's 2:30 and I've had enough of Monday already.

This morning I thought there was a hockey game on the radio, but instead the local sportsradio station had endless interviews with former Steve Nash coaches and friends & family. Fine, he's the first Canadian to win the NBA MVP. I get it. Sadly, I'm going to agree with Mark Cuban on this one: "Alright, we love Steve Nash... yadda yadda yadda."

Coincidentally, if you know anything about Mark Cuban, know this as well: He was my boss (from Hell!)'s idol and he talked about him all the time. That's enough about that, but it sure explains a lot.

So, aside from a lack of radio listenin' this morning, turns out I took 15 minutes to walk from my kitchen to the garage and was running really late. And you know the minute you're running late someone has to screw up the morning commute, right? The longest mile of the commute had 2 stalls and they were expecting long, long lines of cars trying to get around the stalled vehicles.

It wasn't actually that difficult and I even made it through the worst intersection in near-record time today. But then things totally slowed down on the freeway.

Anyone working with traffic laws in British Columbia, could you please make it a justifiable collision if the single occupant of the car ahead of you in the HOV lane is doing less than the speed limit? Pretty please???
I mean, really, what do you think all the honking and flashing of lights behind actually was? A parade perhaps?

Digressing... So, I'm in class and just a few minutes after we start, I hear a whimper from behind. One of the only women in the class is looking a little ill (a little pasty white) and her arms are shaking. I thought originally, she was just cold. But then her head started swaying and I thought she might be fainting.

You know it's a rough program when people work on projects for 24+ hours straight, so I thought maybe she'd just overdone it.

I asked her if she was okay and she turned and said "okay" while giving me the OK sign. But then I noticed she was still shaking and she could loosen her fingers from the 'OK.' A guy on the other side of her desk called the instructor's attention to what was happening and when he asked if everything was okay, she just repeated "okay." He went back to the lesson. I noticed that both hands were now formed into claws and she was still shaking a bit. Suddenly, she started to fall off her chair and I leaned forward just in time to catch her. The instructor saw this and I helped her lie down on the floor and shouted at the instructor to call for first aid. He ran out of the room to call and I just kept talking to her.

Eventually, the first aid attendants arrived and while I still wasn't sure if she was haivng a seizure or something else, I just held her on the floor and made her focus on my eyes. She shouldn't speak properly at this point either.

It turns out she was hypoglycemic and her blood sugar was incredibly low. She had been working overnight on her project and only ate a slice of toast for breakfast. I helped take her to the firemen who answered the 911 call and stuck around assisting while we waited for the paramedics to arrive. We got some apple juice in her and she started to perk up, but the firemen gave her a pack of glucosel, which is like a packet full of sugar rush. It helped her out, but when the paramedics arrived, they were pretty insistent on testing her blood sugar before releasing her back to class.

While I was gone, my instructor told the rest of the class that they're going to be the lucky ones if I'm in their development group for our final project at the endof the program in 2006. Why? Because I'm "a take-charge guy who has not problem giving orders to anyone." It turns out my instructor is a former US Marine and he told me later the last time he had a medical emergency was his foxhole buddy who'd been shot. He had a bit of a flashback --which really has to suck.

Anyway, she's fine but gave us a bit of a scare. I think she was worried that people might look at her funny, but I told her that everyone was just concerned with her, not about her.

Oh, and somehow I got my project done in class today too. Go figure.

Difficult By Design

One of the classes I'm taking is all about design.

Or, at least it's supposed to be about design.

The course reminds me a lot of math in high school. No, it's NOT math, but the question "how much of this am I going to use in my life?" comes to mind. We've spent 5 weeks now looking at masterpieces. Leonardo Da Vinci, Caravaggio, Rembrandt, Durer. Big names in art. And I should know as I took 3 terms of art history in college after getting 98% on the art history 12 final exam.

But the program I'm in has virtually nothing to do with 'design.'

So why are we taking it?

No answers yet, but I appreciate the irony that after 5 assignments I'm sitting at 100%.

Now, the instructor. She's something else. And I don't mean that in a good way. She's very condescending, she can be quite rude and she has an air of superiority about her at all times. With one assignment, she gave me suggestions on what to change as I was "doing it all wrong." So, I made the corrections and she lambasted me about the corrections I made. I did everything she suggested and still managed to do it wrong. Sheesh.

And then she gives me 100% anyway.

I'll admit now I skipped the last hour of the last class. Had enough for the day and had my next assignment. Enough already.

Rumor Weed

Had a drink "after work" with an old friend from work, Bean. I worked with her with my very first work assignment at the old office back in 1997, so definitely a longstanding friendship. She had a couple of stories to tell.

Drama Queen officially replaced me at the job From Hell. It was also the only way for her to stay altogether at the office as she failed miserably with the promotion they'd given her last summer.

Where's that 'No Shit Sherlock' picture I had???

Anyway, it turns out the department had received someone else in a transfer just a few weeks after I'd left and she's proven herself to be just as useless. Very good at wandering around and visiting people, but not very good at staying in the office and actually working. So, DQ comes back to help out... sorry, taking a giggle break... and that leaves The Boy with the rest of the work.

Poor Boy. I'm surprised he's still alive --or that everyone else around him is.

Bean asked me if I was ever offered a new position if I'd accept and come back. I simply replied that I had several nightmares about that happening. In other words, NO.

NO
NO
NO
NO
NO.

Book Smart, Street Stupid

Thanks to Madley for this one:

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