My Dramatis Personae

I realized that my posts lately have included the numerous people around me and some may be confused as to whom I'm speaking of. So, here for your enjoyment is a list of those I talk most frequently of, and why they earned the name they have....

Hairyhoser - Me. This blog is all about me, My Year and how I'm all about the love. It's also about the stupid things I do, the opportunities I lose out on and how I maintain to be the glue that holds things together at work. My life may be falling apart around me, but I'm blindly hanging on to something.

My Wife - Well, that's pretty much it. She's my wife and things are falling apart right now. And, as I've said to her, I love her incredibly but right now I don't like her very much.

My Son & Daughter - My children. Some days the cause of all my stress and other days the only good thing in life.

My Kids - My staff at work. All but one are younger (much *sniff!* younger) than me and have their whole lives ahead of them. Sweet, somewhat innocent, and some stand out enough to be mentioned below. There are 9 of them in total. 8 are female (7 of which are under age 22) and 1 man-child.

Sex Caffeine - The other woman. The centre of all the rumoured affairs I've had recently (yes, recently) --say, the past year-and-a-half or so. Also the recipient of some 545 emails from me despite only knowing her for 2 years now. While things are mostly innocent, we've both had our share of laughs and tears over the situation. We got close to a relationship but it never actually happened. It blew up at one point when a friend told her that I was using coffee as a means to have sex, hence the Sex Caffeine nickname --shortened to 'SC.' A few people know the truth about our relationship, but the one person who thinks we're spending too much time together is...

Drama Queen - Formerly the Co-Worker From Hell known as 'F-Bomb.' My boss started calling her Drama Queen (DQ for short) because she over-reacts to every little thing and gets herself worked up over minor details when we're working on assignments. Getting worked up about the little things 99% guarantees she'll miss something major and come off like a fool --to the entertainment and detriment of everyone else in the office. DQ thinks she knows the truth about SC & I, but it's almost the exact opposite. SC & I milk it now, though, and have started making excuses to make it look like we have a heavy relationship going. DQ is supposedly leaving for good by the end of September, but it may be sooner than that --gee, I wonder what I'd prefer....

Fluffy - My former office mate from 2002 and 2003. He's a beautiful gay man (told you I was all about the love) and knows it quite well. Fun guy to be around even though we (obviously) don't see eye-to-eye on a number of things. Only the 4th openly gay man I've known well. Fluffy is his nickname, although he thought we were calling him 'Fluffer,' which apparently is just as appropriate. If you don't know what a fluffer is, try your hand at some internet research.

Princess - The 3rd openly gay man I've ever known and a trusted confidante. He's been a source of wisdom over the issue with Sex Caffeine and remains true to this day, despite seeing the mistakes I made. Princess also knows way too much about male/female relationships for his sexual orientation.

Queen Mob - My Old Boss (MOB). Rightfully called the Queen because she acts like one and a lot of people thinks she's one (although not the good queen kind of way --more like the queen from Alice in Wonderland). She & I got along for the most part until the whole Sex Caffeine thing started and I was (for different reasons) already on my way out of the department.

The Curse - My very first Co-Worker From Hell (a.k.a. CFH). It wasn't until I started working in my current job that I ended up with so many CFH's. Fortunately, they come and go.

Whiner - The 3rd CFH. I honestly can't remember the nickname I gave to #2, but she wasn't around much anyway --just a few weeks. Whiner lived up to her name as she got confused about basically everything and then whined until she could understand what everyone was explaining to her. Repetitive tasks were never done the same way when she was around, so it was always eventful.

The Boy - Despite replacing Whiner, The Boy hasn't become the 4th CFH. He's fun and we joke around often. Took him almost 3 weeks before he wanted to throw DQ out the window. He's not fond of the 'DQ' nickname, so he just refers to her as 'Bitch.' He's in his 40s, but most days acts like a horny teenager, so he's become 'The Boy.'

Frodo - One of My Kids. He looks like a Hobbit, hence the nickname --thanks to The Boy. Frodo & DQ are best buds all of a sudden, so we watch what we say and do when Frodo's nearby.

Alberta - My favourite out of all My Kids. She's 21 and extremely sexy, but has been good at policing me with the diet and exercise. She's also responsible for 'Naughty Thursdays' when we cheat on our diets and eat something inappropriate (like cream-filled chocolate chip sandwich cookies). We've gone to a couple of concerts together and some former co-workers know they don't need to ask me if I'm enjoying myself over here when they see me with her. It's true.

Sunnie - She used to be my favourite, but she changed a lot over the past few months before she left. She always had a positive outlook and earned her nickname (as in a sunny disposition) because of it. I think she decided before she left that all the guys in the office were ganging up on DQ (the only woman left) and therefore, we were too mean to be nice to anymore.

Latina Lady - The only one of My Kids older than me. She's gone now too. LL exudes sexuality and was sometimes quite 'hands on.' A favourite among other people in the office area. I did her a big favour one day (had to do with her family coming from Mexico) and she was so excited that she wanted to thank me the best way she knew how. I'm nervous about it, but I'm hopeful she's talking about food.

So, that's pretty much it. The players you see before you in my ongoing life. Now you can keep up to date... I hope.