My Shorts

Yeah, yeah... I could come up with a better title, but... screw it. This is just a list of crap going through the noggin today. I could just continually bitch about work and family (lo and behold I do bitch about them), but there's other things going on i there as well and they're ready to spill out.

"My new network" is finally up and running. I had to sell a few things on eBay at really good prices in order to finally go out and buy the network cables. 28 feet in total. 3 feet for the modem/hub connection and 25 feet to go to the upstairs computer. The upstairs one is my oldie Celeron 300, but complete with 24x12x24 CD-RW and a DVD player. Of course, I formatted the drive and then realized that I don't have my Win98 boot disk anymore --took a bit of work, but I managed to find a version to download.

I have some new theories I'm working on. My first new theory is the Customer Service theory. I was talking to a guy at the office the other day. He was complaining because the kids at Wendy's Hamburgers screwed up his order. Cheeseburger --hold the tomatoes-- and an iced tea. He got a cheeseburger with tomatoes and a root beer. "Swear to God," he says, "This happens to me all the time." I believe him. Certain people, I'm thinking, have poor customer service happen in specific retail areas about 10-20% of the time. I get the food problem too. I went into a White Spot "Express" a few weeks back and ordered a cheeseburger, fries, & Coke. There was 1 order ahead of me and 2 behind. And somehow they lost my order. I have a friend at work who always gets the core of the lettuce plant whenever she orders a salad in a restaurant. I've been with her 4 times when it's happened. My sister has things screw up whenever she steps into a bank and talks to a teller. One time they accidentally put an extra $10 (ten!) in her account --small enough to be unnoticeable, right? She wrote a cheque, had it bounce, and got charged $35 because she was $10 overdrawn... Ugh.

My second new theory... just flew out the window. Ah! Thanks to my neighbours down the street, I just remembered it. "There's one in every neighbourhood" is a classic saying --but it's also true. There's one house in every neighbourhood that you just know is going to be the focal point of all your 'neighbourly' problems. I think the ratio is 1:8, 1 bad household for every 8 houses. That's why in my block there's 3... House #1 was a grow op, but that didn't stop them from partying it up every couple of Fridays. They had a concert (the only way to describe it --they had a band!!) start up at 11:30pm on night just after my daughter was born. Idiots. They're also the ones who had a friend drop by who forgot to set his emergency brakes when he parked on the hill. Down the hill came the Mustang, past cars, by 4 houses, across a busy street, in between our 4 rather large trees, over a 5-foot retaining wall and into both our garage doors. House #2, not to be outdone, we refer to as the MVA house. Again, police have been active there, and one guy made it to the front cover of the local paper --spread out over the hood of the squad car. Apparently, he was still supposed to be in jail... My father once backed into one of their cars on a snowy day. The car was worth maybe $500, but the bill to the insurance company was over $3000. They didn't care. There's been 6 families live there since and they're all bad drivers. They come up the hill extremely slowly (WHY do people do that?) and at the last minute signal that they're turning. There's usually a screech and occasionally, someone passes over the double-line because they think the car's slowed even more (if possible). House #3.... oh man. These guys like to party. They buy loud cars and louder stereos. They have fireside sing-alongs in the middle of super-dry (some might say 'tinder dry') summers. They also find the first firecrackers of the season --just like they did this weekend. Bang! Bang! Pop! Noon 'til midnight. Last night, there were 2 go off after midnight and I called the police --again, they don't care. They have the address memorized down there because they're always coming to break up the parties (Thursday nights were their traditional party night --go figure). One day, they had their car stereo cranked so loud that I could clearly make out the song's lyrics despite living 3 houses away. Their neighbour across the street chased after on of them with a baseball bat because it was driving him crazy. Me? I just honk my horn every morning on the way to work --it's not like they're actually awake or anything... until I honk anyway. In my old neighbourhood, 'that house' was across the street from mine. They had 2 rotten kids and the parents could care less. The kids called the police on me once because I took away the 2-litre Coke bottle they were hockey with --at 3 in the freakin' morning!! Their parents (the kids were aged 9 and 6) were at a party up the street --the neighbourhood grow op. They smashed an entire case of bottled fruit juice, which they stole out of the trunk of my father's car. We were unloading groceries and came out and caught the boy rummaging through the trunk. We scared him and he dropped the case of juice and ran home. We confronted the mother and she just laughed it off. We moved soon after. I got my revenge a few years later playing hockey. The kid still looked the same and had the same smart mouth. He called me 'fat ass' while we were playing and 'somehow' ended up needing a number of stitches.... funny, no one saw it happen despite all the friends I was playing with at the time. Oh, condos are worse. We had 'bowling for toddlers' upstairs, 'door crasher' down the hall (she used to slam the stairwell door into our bedroom wall every morning around 6:30), and 'yappy slut' downstairs for a while (she used to go out to the bars and leave her yappy dog locked in the bathroom all night) until she moved out and a 'one song says it all' family moved in. They played the same song for over 45 minutes every morning. Thumping the floor wasn't loud enough so I broke out the hammer.... don't miss living there either.

The neighbourhood thing runs in the family. My father's neighbour is a social worker and she called the police accusing my father of stealing her horse. she'd left her gate open (she does it often --I've seen her do it twice and I've only been up there for the equivalent of a month) and the horse wandered through my parents' garden and into the trees in their backyard. My father, laughed off the accusation, which riled her even more. He explained the police officer --over the phone from Wyoming where he'd been for 2 weeks-- that he didn't make a quick trip back to take the horse. Now she lets her dog loose whenever my father works in his garden. He's still a horse-thief after all.

My work thing. I'm just about ready to kill. After a lengthy meeting last Thursday, where I explained to my boss that 4 people sharing 2 offices should be able to communicate a helluva lot more efficiently than we are. Case in point: A major event this weekend, I, and my immediate co-worker were given no information on it until the newspaper advertisement arrived for my approval. That's where I got my information. Couldn't get it out of Drama Queen. For today major project, she left a number of things (naturally) to the very last minute and couldn't figure out why no one was helping her. Why should they? I was busy cleaning up her accounting mess (the girl just can't follow simple policy when filling out expense forms) and had no time to listen to her whine. So, what does my boss say on Thursday? He's going to find a way to keep her around after he contract expires at the end of the month. I had to put in 2 and a half hours of overtime today (which actually works out to 5 hours) to finish off a project she'd forgotten about and it was due today. So..... my old, old, old job has been posted and as of Friday everyone in the department has asked if I'm coming back. I've applied for the position (it is a raise in pay and 'less hours' --which means a regular schedule) and if I get it, I'll know by September 15th. I'll ask for a little while to 'discuss' things with my current boss --meaning that I'm 90% in favour of leaving for the old/new job. The 10% I don't expect to change and I'll write a few more Co-Worker From Hell comments over the next few weeks to drive that point home. Could be by the end of the next 2 weeks it's 100% towards leaving. I think they have to pay me out for all my overtime too. Right now the gross is just shy of $4000.... I could use that.

My Family thing continues as well. I wasn't sure, but decided to go to a concert last night put on my the African Children's Choir. I was finally convinced with the 'try new things' line form my wife. 3/4 of the way through the show, I suddenly realized that I'd seen them before. Now I just have to figure out why I couldn't remember. That or it's the lamest deja-vu EVER. My in-laws have 3 kids and a chaperone staying with them. My wife had to make dinner tonight and I came straight from work (thus, 2 and a half hours after I thought I'd be done). Everyone else was done and the kids were getting ready for bed already. So, I sat by myself at the kitchen table, had a Diet Coke and ate my dinner. I went on a TV remote hunt and asked my wife where it could be. She'd put it away because the TV isn't supposed to be on when the kids are around. "Oh," I said. "I guess I'll watch the news later." "Fine," says the wife, "You're not supposed to have pop around them either." Fine. I took my dinner and sat on the patio and finished it up. She got mad at me and couldn't figure out why I left the room. I didn't want to cause any problems. "But the rules don't apply to you and you're the only one eating dinner in there." So, my question was: "Why mention the pop thing, then? If the rules don't apply to me, why tell them to me. I don't care." She got mad and told me to come inside and be sociable. It was rude of me to walk out of the house like that (still hadn't seen the kids, of course). So, I went to be sociable in the living room and went in to introduce myself.... to my father in-law who was the only one upstairs. The kids were all in bed. I told him that I needed to be sociable and then my wife scolded me and told me to go home. Best idea of the evening.

I went home.

And relaxed for almost an hour.

This wasn't very short was it?

My Argument Would Be Similar to His...

A question for Canadians

Because this is what happens when we ignore athletes for three years and 50 weeks

~by Ed Willes, Vancouver Province, August 26, 2004

ATHENS – Shortly after his crew’s crushing loss in the men’s eight final at the Schinias Rowing Centre on Sunday, Andrew Hoskins came out to face the music.

He refused to endorse any of the excuses that were being offered by the assembled newsfolk.

No, the pressure of being the pre-race favourites didn’t get to the boat. No, his crew wasn’t rattled by their second-place finish to the Americans in their first heat of the regatta, their first loss in over two years.

But just before the scrum broke, Hoskins volunteered one thing and, because his commentary was unsolicited, it was likely something he’s been thinking about for some time.

“I don’t how you get people interested in what we’re doing,” Hoskins said. “But if you want to have success, you have to be committed for more than two weeks every four years. If you’re not, this is what you can expect.”

Like most of the Canadian athletes in Athens, Hoskins and his rowers train and compete in complete anonymity for three years and 50 weeks of every Olympics cycle. Then the Olympics come around and, for two weeks, they’re the starting quarterbacks on a Super Bowl team.

If you’re looking for an explanation for Canada’s dreadful showing at these Olympics, that’s a pretty good place to start.

In virtually every other country participating in Athens, Hoskins’ seat on the two-time world champion men’s eight would make him a star. In Canada, it means he has to forestall career, family and education decisions and live a life of impoverishment in order to compete in his sport.

Then, in the two weeks of the Olympics, everyone wants a piece of him. They want to tell his story. They want to share in his victory. When the eight failed, they wanted an explanation.

And it’s the same story all over the Canadian Olympic team. You’ve got members of the media who haven’t been near these sports for 206 weeks who are suddenly passing judgment on these athletes. You’ve got corporations who won’t go near them for three years who suddenly want to be identified with them and the Olympic brand. You’ve got politicians who are keen to show up for the photo-ops, less keen to appear when funds are needed.

It’s a ridiculous system and, over the last two Olympics, it’s produced ridiculous results. There’s also little indication it’s going to improve anytime soon. So where do we go from Athens?

Well, as Hoskins suggests, we have to answer one simple question first: Are we a sporting country? If we are, that means we have to change. The private sector has to step up and invest in the athletes when the spotlight isn’t on them. The government has to make athletics a priority and that means, among other things, stressing physical education in our schools. The media has to show up for national and world championships in non-Olympic years and treat like events.

<>Maybe that way, the athletes won’t get spooked when the hordes descend on them at the big show.

Now, it could be we’ve already had that conversation and decided our priority is the Winter Olympics. That’s fine but if that’s the case, we then have to re-adjust our goals in the Summer Games and understand we are competing against countries that take these sports seriously.

In Australia, the stars of the swimming program make millions. In Canada, rower Chris Jarvis, who’s diabetic, is thrilled to be sponsored by a medical company which manufactures strips for testing his blood sugar.

It’s not exactly a level playing field.

Then again, you’ve probably figured that out by now.

My Easy Choice

Around these parts most people apply for jobs quite quickly. Jobs are posted usually for about 2 weeks before they close and anyone interested on the 'inside' have declared their intentions within a day or 2 of the posting. The new job here in my area went the full 2 weeks before anyone inside made any type of move and thankfully they did because, in a union environment, it stops anyone 'outside' from getting the job.

Ask me 7 years ago how I felt about this and I'd tell you that it sucks and it's not fair to anyone on the outside not getting a chance for work. Ask me now and I'll tell you that I've spent 7 years working my ass off for the opportunity to move up to a better position so they damn well better look at me first. Why? I've earned it.

Not that it means much --trust me. I've been screwed around on a number of jobs and heard excuse-after-excuse when jobs that I'm qualified for and have the experience to apply myself fall by the wayside. It sucks. BIG TIME. But every once in a while something works in my favour.

The last department I was with before this latest one (where I've endured Co-Workers From Hell at every turn) was the usual process for an interview.

Or so I thought.

They actually didn't bother interviewing anyone else as I'd worked with them before and they'd liked the job I'd done. They were more than happy to have me come back. I kinda wished I hadn't gone through the torture of an interview (never want that again, really) just to find out later they didn't bother looking at anyone else. But it worked out for me.

Back in July, the new job in this department opened up. It's a new position. It takes a few responsibilities away from me (things I'm not supposed to be doing anyway) and takes all the responsibilities away from Drama Queen. Yep, she's out (I hope). Our goal was to make sure that DQ didn't even get the opportunity to get the job --and it seems to have worked. Goal #1 is set.

Goal #2 would be to get the job --but then nothing can be that easy can it?

Nope! I mentioned in an earlier posting that the annoying one known as Mary-Mary (Quite Contrary) was gone. Finito. Done. She had my old, old, old (aw man!) job which, embarrassingly, was only 2-and-a-half years ago. Time flies --and it hasn't exactly been fun.

Nope! the last time I can honestly say work was 'fun' was in that old, old, old job. We all got along and all had... well, FUN! And that job's now posted as well. It's les pay than the one over here, but this is the way I look at it:

1. This department has 5 people and no communication skills. Things are scheduled to happen and no one else knows about them. This, understandably, causes a great deal more stress than we need.
2. This department doesn't know how to handle working with any other department here. Which also causes stress.
3. This job is supposed to be a full-time 40-hour work week. Except I have in 14 months over 200 hours of overtime and have missed countless weekends with different projects. This has -yeah- caused stress, especially with my family and with any outside commitments I may have had.
4. This job comes with Co-Workers From Hell (CFH). While they may be good for countless hours of entertainment.... I have to work with them. More stress.
5. My boss is not an easy person to read. While he seems to show how he likes and appreciates me on one hand, the other is showing my CFH what he doesn't like about me. and could do something about it if he'd tell me what that is. A little bit of stress, but more emotional as I find myself withdrawn from some things around here.

And then there's the other job:

1. Yeah, there was stress --it's a job.
2. It's also a department with well over 30 people, all knowing what it is they're supposed to be doing and a doing a damn fine job of it. Period.
3. There may be times when things get dicey, but they know how to pull together and make it work.
4. There's no overtime. There's no demand for it.
5. The boss & I carpool semi-regularly. We get along and we're almost neighbors.
6. I've done the job before and they're all asking when I'm coming back --they didn't like they way I was forced to leave last time and I see them every week as it is.
7. They still invite me to birthday parties because I'm an 'honorary member' of the department.
8. I'm still on their pop/snack fund list. I used to be the king of the list.
9. These guys spend all day together. To the point that half the department plays volleyball together at lunch. 3 times a week.

Easy choice, huh? It may pay less, but the expense of one job over the other is insurmountable.

My Condolences

Ever hear of 'Suicide Frogs'?

Actually, sounds like the name of a band or something.

I was at my brother-in-law's wedding on Saturday and noticed that there was a dead frog on the walkway. Normally, I could care less, but it was flattened --obviously run over. But the only thing there to run it over would be a golf cart.

How can a golf cart surprise a frog?

The next day, walking to the next building for the gift opening, there were 3 more frogs flattened on the walkway. 4 frogs in one weekend?

Oh well, they looked disgusting.

I get to work on Monday and as I walk up to the front door, what's waiting for me? Another dead frog. But we don't have golf carts here.

Weird.

My Apologies

Apparently 'Dreama' needs something to read and it's up to me to give 'er somethin to go on.

Not having a good day. Trying to find shipping rates and have a problem getting to UPS' website. Fortunately, I caught my 3rd mistake and didn't go on a detour to www.pus.com. That would've been bad, I'm sure.

My boss is my hero at the moment as he'd originally scheduled a long and boring meeting for the night of August 30th.... when Canada plays the USA in World Cup hockey. None of us would be there.... We're having the meeting on September 2nd now as the only other night that works, there's another hockey game on. Hehe.

Despite that meeting changing, there's still this bloody meeting Thursday night after work. It sucks because I was invited over to Sex Caffeine's place that night after work.

Totally innocent, mind you. she's finally having her housewarming (she moved in this past April). I just want a tour of the place so I can bug Drama Queen the next day and say, "SC's bedroom is white with a blue comforter on the bed."

Know where that's from?

Les Nessman said it (well, something similar) on 'WKRP in Cincinnati.' He told Herb that Jennifer's bed wasn't round, but square, just like everyone else's. Herb didn't know what to think of that statement (as innocent as it was).

Sorry. Can't think of anything else quite yet.

My Multitasking

Doing any type of web publishing is somewhat boring. It's nice to 'spice' things up... but not driven to distraction. So, I've started downloading horror movies and thrillers. The kind that make you want to look away every once in a while (and I'm getting pretty good at that).

This weekend's movies included 'Ghost Ship' (with close 70 people dying horribly in the first 2 minutes?) and 'Thirteen Ghosts.' I'm watching Thirteen Ghosts right now and this guy just got sliced in half --top to bottom.

Icky.

So, while people are being sliced in half, I'm also writing this blog and publishing some PDF files.

Multitasking is fun!!

Okay, one more thing while we're on the subject. Laurence Fishburne in 'Event Horizon' is (as far as I've seen) the only guy to "get it" in a horror movie. They board a ship that's mysteriously reappeared a decade (or so) after it was reported missing and no one onboard is left alive. The salvage crew finds a data disc of the captain's log and plays the last entry. Blood, guts, icky things and eyeballs greet them and then it shuts off. And what does Mr. Fishburne say?

"Alright people, get your stuff! We're leaving!"

Duh. They don't get to leave, but at least it's better than "there's ghosts in the basement. Don't go into the basement!! I said DON'T!!!!" Yep, everyone trots down into the basement.

Just asking for it.

[done for the night. back to the movie... in the dark... in my basement. AAHHH!!!]

My Evil Self & I

"The man maketh money and the wife taketh away." Thus spake.... somebody. I don't know.

What I DO know is that the money situation's getting to frustrating levels. It wouldn't be so bad if we were both working, but I'm the sole provider right now. And, naturally, the fact that I went out a got a new car was the biggest mistake I could make. Can we afford it? Yes, but barely. We were paying $3000+ a year in repairs on my old car, but suddenly paying the same $3000 a year for the car is insurmountable.

Drives me crazy.

The thing is, we're paying for everything based on my salary and as I discovered --much to my dismay-- a few weeks back, I'm making the same salary now as I was when we bought this house 6 years ago. This sucks.

I'm trying to get things on eBay and managed to get almost 70 things on in the past 2 weeks, but I'm selling a few items that I'd never intended to get rid of. Things change --and I'm doing my part.

But aren't I already doing my part? I'm working 40+ hours a week and put in 200+ hours of overtime in the past year. Yet all the money problems have become my problem. This sucks too.

When my friend fixed my computer, he gave me a network hub, meaning I could hook up my old computer and new computer to the internet via the same connection. Only problem there is that I need to buy some extra network cables to do it. My plan was to keep the newer computer downstairs (now becoming my Fortress of Solitude) and run a network cable upstairs through the ceiling. 2 cables will cost me about $20, but every time I go to get them , there's something else that needs to be taken care of first.

So I haven't reformatted the old computer, hooked it up or bothered bringing it upstairs. So you know what that means...

Yep, I'm getting pressure for not taking care of the computer thing.

My selfish act for the day was getting my haircut for the wedding on Saturday. My hairdresser is the MC for the wedding and we looked over some of the paperwork today, including the program. I'm listed as a 'friend' of the groom. Close. I'm married to his sister, so I think I'm an in-law, not just a friend. Enh, whatever. I'll take it as a sign that within the year we'll be friends --not in-laws.

So, yeah, a haircut. Last week, my wife got her hair coloured and trimmed and it came to $40. She's not in the wedding party, but insisted she not have any greys or whites showing for the wedding. Of course, I haven't had my hair cut since June and I need to look presentable standing up in front of everyone...

So, today I got my haircut (and frosted, hehe) after work. And tonight I'm paying dearly for it. How dare I spend money on myself like that. I paid for it through Paypal (of all things...) and that money comes form one thing and one thing only: eBay. My work. My time. Why should I be punished for it?

So, it's time for me to be selfish and evil. Maybe for the rest of the year.

My Friggin' Long Quiz .:General Info:.
Name::	Hairyhoser --my real name ain't allowed on my blog
Age::	29 for 3 years now --I act 40 in the morning, 18 by lunch and usually hit the bed going 70
Gender::	Male (who else acts 18 by lunch?)
Height::	Tall Scot = 5' 7"
Birthday::	July (I'm a Leo)
Hair Color::	Brown, blonde -a few grays coming through 'til I beat 'em into submission again
Describe yourself in one word::	F*cked
Describe your personality in one word::	Charming --hehe
.:School Life:.
What grade are you in::	At my age, grades don't count anymore --a.k.a. Grade 25 (XXV)
What school do you go to::	Waterloo!
And where is that::	WATERLOO!!!!
Do you get good grades::	When I focus on my work --oh yeah. Got a B- for a class I did in a week and failed a class I struggled with all semester
Favorite Subject::	British history
.:Love Life:.
Sexual Preference::	I'm a heterosexual man
Do you have a bf/gf::	No, I don't like bf/gf's. I'm a hetero... and married
If so,what is their name::	If I could make my own bf/gf... forget it. I'll stick with my wife
How long have you been dating::	Dating my wife? Only a year. But we've been married for 8 years.. (no more dates...)
Do you consider yourself in love with them::	Yup! Just don't like her all that much right now
If so,why::	She's my dream girl. I'm convinced I dreamt about her when I was 15. A brunette wearing glasses, sitting with me all day reading books. I adjusted her glasses & kissed her
Have you had your first kiss::	Why, yes I have (and 2 babies resulted ;o) )
If so,when::	First girlfriend kiss? When I was 12.
Do you have a crush::	Sort of. Trying not to acknowlege it these days (failing tho)
If so,what is their name::	'Sex Caffeine'
Why do you like them::	We'v both been trying to figure that out for 18 months now
Do they know you::	Yes.
Do they know that you like them::	The feeling's mutual.
How long have you known them::	2 years as of July.
.:Friends:.
Best Friend(s)::	My best friend is EZ, but I haven't spoken to him in a year
How long have you been friends::	18 years
Do you consider yourself a good friend::	As good as he gets (hehe)
How many friends do you think you have::	I'm all about the love.... 2.3 million
Most popular::	Alberta --nearly every guy has a crush on her
Most conceited::	I'm not friends with conceited people.
Friendliest::	Sunney
Meanest::	Me.
Prettiest::	Alberta. Definitely.
Craziest::	Fluffy --he's a crazy homosexual!! ;o)
Oldest::	Uhhhh... Boop admits to 54 I think
Youngest::	A few of My Kids are in their late teens still. 'Minty' turned 19 in July
Most recent::	When you hit your 30s friends don't come quickly. The Boy & I get along pretty good though
Smartest::	Me. I scored over 140 on my IQ test.
.:Favorites:.
Food::	Lasagna --my wife's is the best, followed by Mom's
Person::	No favorites
Number::	13
Show::	Regular: Cold Case or Nip/Tuck; Reality: Amazing Race
Letter::	F. For Friday, Free Willy and Filadelphia (old joke, sorry)
Song::	This week? 'More Than This' by Peter Gabriel
Band/Singer::	Band: Pink Floyd / Singer: Peter Gabriel
Place in the world::	London
Season::	Summer
.:Your-:.
Dream Vacation::	Someplace where I can tan and not always burn.
Dream House::	Somewhere big --and with a view
Dream Room::	Home theatre
Location::	BC, most likely
.:Last Time You:.:	I what?
Watched T.V.::	Opening Ceremonies for the Olympics
Went to the bathroom::	It's 12:21 am now --1 hour ago
Ate::	Had dinner about 5 hours ago
Slept::	18 hours ago
Listened to music::	Listening to the radio right now
Used the phone::	7:30 tonight
IMed someone/Got an IM::	2 days ago
Went to school::	Last time I was in a classroom to learn was in January. For my degree --1997.
Played a game::	6 weeks? Haven't put City of Heroes on here yet
Took a shower::	11 this morning
Hugged someone::	:oD Hugged Sex Caffeine about 2:30 this afternoon
Went on a date::	Last Thursday --my wife & I took a day into Vancouver
Wrote a letter::	WROTE, wrote? Years. Email? Maybe 25 hours.
Cried::	Felt a little choked watching the opening ceremonies (great to see so many people getting along)
.:Last Person You:.
Hugged::	Sex Caffeine
Kissed::	My Wife --an hour ago
Laughed at::	Princess --for thinking Sex Caffeine & I were doing The Nasty today
Cried over::	My wife again
IMed/Got an IM from::	Dreama. Hey girl, you made the list!!
Hurt::	Probably my wife --if not, then Sex Caffeine
Talked to::	My wife
Spoke to on the phone::	My wife
Ate with::	Some friends at work. Shared a Diet Coke or two with Sex Caffeine too
Spent time with::	Sex Caffeine (& NOT doing The Nasty!!)
Saw::	My wife
Missed::	No one.
Heard::	Uhhh...
Played with::	My son. "Wonder Twin powers!!" -he's good at it too
.:Have You Ever:.
Been out of the country::	Yes, but not in a week
Been out of state/province::	Yes, but not in a week
Done drugs::	No, but I have inhaled
Done anything illegal::	Speeding counts, so 4 hours ago
Slapped someone::	I slapped my son's hand today when he scratched my daughter
Cut yourself::	Enough to leave a scar? 7 years ago. Minor cut? This morning
Played an instrument::	Played bongo drums 'til my hands were numb at the basketball championship games in March
Hurt someone for no reason::	Yes, emotionally. Never physically.
Hurt someone::	Never physically, so no. or at least not since elementary school
Killed an insect/bug::	Killed a spider in the hallway at work yesterday. No one would go by it.
Gotten stung by a bee::	12 years ago. I'm allergic --I found out. I stepped on it in a field.
Lied to your parents::	Yep, 3 weeks ago.
Stole Something::	Yes, but not for years.
Kissed Someone::	Yes, numerous.
.:This Or That:.
Rock or Rap::	Rock
Singing or Songwriting::	Songwriting (even got to go to L.A. because of it!)
Tennis Shoes or Sandals::	Sandals when it's this hot --no reason for socks!!!
Phone or Computer::	Computer
Biking or Skating::	Biking
Analog or Digital::	Digital --good Lord
Coke or Pepsi::	Coke
Sprite or Sierra Mist::	Sprite
MTV or VH1::	I watched MTV when it first came on the air, junior!
R&B or Country::	R&B --unless it's Faith Hill, then I'll sit there and drool
Cingular or T-Mobile::	T-Mobile, I guess
Cats or Dogs::	Leaing towards dogs these days, but it has to be a Husky
AIM or Yahoo::	Neither, please
Bzoink or Quizilla::	Bzoink
.:Word Association:.
Birthday::	Cake
Peanut::	Brittle (don't even like it)
Good Charlotte::	Queen Charlotte
Ravioli::	Meat
President Bush::	Idiot
T.V.::	Sex
Rock::	Drums
Rap::	Guns
Chef::	Julia Childs
Boys::	Basketball
Girls::	satin
Calendar::	work
Fan::	screaming
Evil::	co-workers from Hell
.:Right Now:
Eating::	Nothing
Drinking::	Ginger Ale, water...
Watching::	Nothing
What is on your mousepad::	No mousepad, but usually a picture of something from home
What are you doing::	taking a really long quiz to waste time
What song are you listening to::	One Thing by Finger Eleven
What's in your CD player::	Peter Gabriel
Wearing::	Shorts, no socks, no shirt
Time::	12:39 am
Month::	August
Day of the Month::	14th now...
Year::	2004
Day of the week::	Saturday
What website are you on::	www.bzoink.com
.:Random Things:.
What color is your mousepad::	Usually navy blue
What color is your keyboard::	cream & navy blue
What is the phrase you use the most online::	I'm all about the love
Did you like this survey::	not anymore, no
Are you sad that it's over::	not really
What are you gonna do after this survey is over::	stretch --geez
Do you like pop-up ads::	No --and one just popped up!
How long have you been online::	Today? 7 hours

You Know It's All About You (Over 100 Questions) brought to you by BZOINK!
EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions

My Strongest Weakness

Unbeknownst to me, 'Princess' had returned from holidays and dropped by his office today. I was in the office next to his when I worked in that department over a year ago now and I forgot about how well sound travels through the walls.

See, 'Sex Caffeine' and I were in that office earlier this afternoon. And I should have thought of the sound thingy --had I known he was even around.

Gratuitous sex sounds travel well.

Going back 18 months, I remember sitting in Princess' office discussing various matters of the day. I shared my office with 'Fluffy' at the time and 'Fluffy' was havig a discussion with the Queen MOB, my old boss. As Princess & I were talking we could hear voices raise in my office, followed by an 'AAHHHH!!' and a sudden big thud against the wall. I went racing over (Princess walked in later --he and the Queen don't always get along) and here the Queen had tried to sit on one of the chairs and it had rolled away from under her, hence the thud against the wall. Fortunately, we all had a good laugh over it. But I should have remembered about the sound travelling.

When rumours of an affair between SC and I first started just before Christmas 2002, it was because we'd been holed up in my office all day. We both disappeared behind the closed door and only came out for bathroom breaks the rest of the day. Otherwise, you could pretty much just hear laughing and giggling whenever you walked by. Had someone been in the other office, they would've heard the movie we were watching on the DVD player in my computer.

One of the things I've tried desperately to do over the past few months is find things SC & I don't have in common so we'll run out of things to talk about. Sadly, I've failed miserably and have only found more and more things we have in common. Favorite reality show? We both like Amazing Race and talk about it the next day. We both like working out around 4:00. We both clued in to the twist in 'The Village' at the same time. We're both addicted to Diet Coke with Lime. We both like Jerry Bruckheimer shows. She hadn't watched 'Nip/Tuck' yet, so I brought in the pilot episode.

And we watched it in her office (my old office, my old computer).

About 10 minutes in, there's a very gratuitous (for TV anyway) sex scene. We had the volume a little too high. It was very warm in the office and I was getting sweaty. When I left about 55 minutes later, I was looking quite unkempt and got called into Princess' office right away. I didn't know he was there, and looking the way I did (and his tone of voice), I knew right away he had the wrong idea, but "It's not what you think" just ain't the right response at the moment. Neither, apparently, is 15 minutes of trying to explain what was happening (and laughing about it at the same time).

He doesn't know what to believe right now.

My Dramatis Personae

I realized that my posts lately have included the numerous people around me and some may be confused as to whom I'm speaking of. So, here for your enjoyment is a list of those I talk most frequently of, and why they earned the name they have....

Hairyhoser - Me. This blog is all about me, My Year and how I'm all about the love. It's also about the stupid things I do, the opportunities I lose out on and how I maintain to be the glue that holds things together at work. My life may be falling apart around me, but I'm blindly hanging on to something.

My Wife - Well, that's pretty much it. She's my wife and things are falling apart right now. And, as I've said to her, I love her incredibly but right now I don't like her very much.

My Son & Daughter - My children. Some days the cause of all my stress and other days the only good thing in life.

My Kids - My staff at work. All but one are younger (much *sniff!* younger) than me and have their whole lives ahead of them. Sweet, somewhat innocent, and some stand out enough to be mentioned below. There are 9 of them in total. 8 are female (7 of which are under age 22) and 1 man-child.

Sex Caffeine - The other woman. The centre of all the rumoured affairs I've had recently (yes, recently) --say, the past year-and-a-half or so. Also the recipient of some 545 emails from me despite only knowing her for 2 years now. While things are mostly innocent, we've both had our share of laughs and tears over the situation. We got close to a relationship but it never actually happened. It blew up at one point when a friend told her that I was using coffee as a means to have sex, hence the Sex Caffeine nickname --shortened to 'SC.' A few people know the truth about our relationship, but the one person who thinks we're spending too much time together is...

Drama Queen - Formerly the Co-Worker From Hell known as 'F-Bomb.' My boss started calling her Drama Queen (DQ for short) because she over-reacts to every little thing and gets herself worked up over minor details when we're working on assignments. Getting worked up about the little things 99% guarantees she'll miss something major and come off like a fool --to the entertainment and detriment of everyone else in the office. DQ thinks she knows the truth about SC & I, but it's almost the exact opposite. SC & I milk it now, though, and have started making excuses to make it look like we have a heavy relationship going. DQ is supposedly leaving for good by the end of September, but it may be sooner than that --gee, I wonder what I'd prefer....

Fluffy - My former office mate from 2002 and 2003. He's a beautiful gay man (told you I was all about the love) and knows it quite well. Fun guy to be around even though we (obviously) don't see eye-to-eye on a number of things. Only the 4th openly gay man I've known well. Fluffy is his nickname, although he thought we were calling him 'Fluffer,' which apparently is just as appropriate. If you don't know what a fluffer is, try your hand at some internet research.

Princess - The 3rd openly gay man I've ever known and a trusted confidante. He's been a source of wisdom over the issue with Sex Caffeine and remains true to this day, despite seeing the mistakes I made. Princess also knows way too much about male/female relationships for his sexual orientation.

Queen Mob - My Old Boss (MOB). Rightfully called the Queen because she acts like one and a lot of people thinks she's one (although not the good queen kind of way --more like the queen from Alice in Wonderland). She & I got along for the most part until the whole Sex Caffeine thing started and I was (for different reasons) already on my way out of the department.

The Curse - My very first Co-Worker From Hell (a.k.a. CFH). It wasn't until I started working in my current job that I ended up with so many CFH's. Fortunately, they come and go.

Whiner - The 3rd CFH. I honestly can't remember the nickname I gave to #2, but she wasn't around much anyway --just a few weeks. Whiner lived up to her name as she got confused about basically everything and then whined until she could understand what everyone was explaining to her. Repetitive tasks were never done the same way when she was around, so it was always eventful.

The Boy - Despite replacing Whiner, The Boy hasn't become the 4th CFH. He's fun and we joke around often. Took him almost 3 weeks before he wanted to throw DQ out the window. He's not fond of the 'DQ' nickname, so he just refers to her as 'Bitch.' He's in his 40s, but most days acts like a horny teenager, so he's become 'The Boy.'

Frodo - One of My Kids. He looks like a Hobbit, hence the nickname --thanks to The Boy. Frodo & DQ are best buds all of a sudden, so we watch what we say and do when Frodo's nearby.

Alberta - My favourite out of all My Kids. She's 21 and extremely sexy, but has been good at policing me with the diet and exercise. She's also responsible for 'Naughty Thursdays' when we cheat on our diets and eat something inappropriate (like cream-filled chocolate chip sandwich cookies). We've gone to a couple of concerts together and some former co-workers know they don't need to ask me if I'm enjoying myself over here when they see me with her. It's true.

Sunnie - She used to be my favourite, but she changed a lot over the past few months before she left. She always had a positive outlook and earned her nickname (as in a sunny disposition) because of it. I think she decided before she left that all the guys in the office were ganging up on DQ (the only woman left) and therefore, we were too mean to be nice to anymore.

Latina Lady - The only one of My Kids older than me. She's gone now too. LL exudes sexuality and was sometimes quite 'hands on.' A favourite among other people in the office area. I did her a big favour one day (had to do with her family coming from Mexico) and she was so excited that she wanted to thank me the best way she knew how. I'm nervous about it, but I'm hopeful she's talking about food.

So, that's pretty much it. The players you see before you in my ongoing life. Now you can keep up to date... I hope.

MY SHEER BOREDOM Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band::	Genesis
Are you female or male::	Man on the Corner
Describe yourself::	I Can't Dance
How do some people feel about you::	Fly On A Windshield
How do you feel about yourself::	Happy the Man
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend::	Anything She Does
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend::	Duchess
Describe where you want to be::	Home By The Sea
Describe what you want to be::	Driving the Last Spike
Describe how you live::	Living Forever
Describe how you love::	Afterglow
Share a few words of wisdom::	Jesus He Knows Me

Bands // Song Titles brought to you by BZOINK!
EmotionDump - 100% Anonymous Emotions and Confessions

My Achin' Muscles

Yeah... yeah... take a few weeks off and pretty much laze around by the pool. 2 days of working out (only about 2 and a half hours though) and I'm really feeling it.

But it's a good feeling. There's nothing like combing your hair, looking in the mirror and realizing there's shape (good shape) in places where it was just round before. Things are working. Things are... looking good.

But I ache.

My Tuxedo

I don’t know if I’ve even mentioned that my brother-in-law is getting married in a few weeks. I’m in the wedding party (and most likely the only short one in the party –I know 2 others are basketball players and I’m sure I’ll get placed right next to them. What can I say? People a foot taller than me are a pet peeve.

Regardless, it was a hassle-and-a-half to get measured for my tux. First, the girl was gone for lunch when I got there. Now, I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve a lunch, but maybe she shouldn’t take it the same time everyone else is (and obviously, the other 6 guys there were thinking exactly what I thought: “I’ll go on my lunch break to get fitted”). So, I opt to come back in 30 minutes when she’s supposed to be back, but she doesn’t show up. No, no: She’s 15 minutes late and I now have 5 minutes left on my lunch break.

Actually, that’s not true. I never have time to take my coffee breaks, so I usually end up taking a 90-minute break. My boss can’t complain ‘cuz we’d just start taking our regular coffee breaks and he’d be desperately searching for us to help out with things (ah, traditions). So, I actually have 35 minutes left, but I haven’t eaten yet today and a hungry Hoser becomes a grumpy Hoser. Give me food.

Nope, I wait for the girl to show up and take my measurements. She finally gets to me (after a lecture from nearly everyone in front of me – she’s in a great mood by the time it’s my turn). Arm: fine. Legs: (whoo-hoo! Hello?) Fine. Waist: 37. What? 37? Hey, I know I’ve been on holidays, but I don’t think I ballooned 5 pant sizes in 3 weeks!! But no, she insists I’m a 37 and my disagreeing isn’t helping her mood. Like telling me I’m a 37 is helping the situation. I ask her to take it again (can she spare 3 seconds????) and I notice this time that the tape is around my waist on the left and is hanging below my pocket line on the right. No kidding it’s a 37 –I more the tape to my waist. She sighs and still says ’37.’

Fine. Didn’t want to eat again anyway.

Oh! Yeah, back at work and the idiots have been running loose. Living up to Co-Worker From Hell designation, Drama Queen sent out an email message to 900+ people about a new “work oppurtunity” in our office area. Yeah, she spells opportunity with a ‘U’. I should ask her to remind me what she majored in for her bachulur’s dugree.

Idiots: 2

Meanwhile, 180 degrees elsewhere… I’m stopped at a red light today (red lights are my friend) and look into the vehicle next to me. And there’s an office-buddy-slash-confidante-slash-friend of mine from back in ’98. I honk and get her to pull over so we can chat for the first time in close to a year (I think). I seem to have done that with a number of people, but she’s one I regret not talking to in a while. At least the guilt-factor was mutual…

Okay, I checked. Apparently the last email was in April, but a physical discussion has been years in the making. 3 years maybe? Still feeling guilty, but it was great to talk to her again.

My Old Contrary Mary

In June I mentioned Mary Mary and how she's caused all sorts of problems in my old department. [see My Vote - June 28, 2004] I heard today that Mary Mary has decided not to return to work from her leave of absence and my old department is free of her evil ways. Free to get on with life as they did before. I'm sure there were tears with the news --but tears of joy. It turns out 2 of my phone calls while on vacation were about her departure. Awww, ain't that sweet?

But this is the thing. There's a new job being created in my current department. It's a job that pays nearly double what I make right now and I have all the qualifications. Will I get it? Who knows? I'd love to get it and Drama Queen thinks she could do it too (despite the Boss telling her she has no skills whatsoever). DQ leaves us September 30th, by the way. Shed another tear, yes?

Hang on. I just realize that two pieces of deadwood have/will be giving farewells officially in the past few weeks.... could this be a trend at the office? My God, it's long overdue!!

Okay, back to me. The Boy emailed and asked if I was planning on applying for this new job --DQ is dying to know. No, I replied, I am not planning on applying for this new job. Why? Because I have already applied for this new job. Planned. Past tense is beautiful.

But now there's potential of this other job looming in the near future. It's another job I could do and have the qualifications for. In fact, part of the job is 'support' for one of my old positions in that old department. No problems there!! And, I still hang out with a number of people from that department, so they may be receptive to me coming back. Oh, sweet.

So, my decision is this: Apply for both. Interview for both. Hope to God one works out in my favour. I'm already dreading heading back to the office on Monday. My holidays can't be over that quick, can they?

My Inappropriate Conversation

She started it, okay? While waiting for my computer to be fixed, I stopped by to say 'hi' to Sex Caffeine. Yep, it's been a few weeks since we last talked (vacations have a tendency to do that) and I wanted to hear about her vacation as I'm hoping to do the same thing before the end of October:

ME: "So, how was your trip?"
SC: "Fine."
ME: "Did you get to the museum to see the exhibit?"
SC: "... No..."
ME: "No? I thought that was supposed to be the highlight?"
SC: "Well, we got sidetracked. A lot. Get it?"
ME: "I want details."
SC: "Well, that's inappropriate!"
ME: "Screw that. You started it! Details! I promise I'll be nice!"
SC: "Yeah, right!"
ME: "Ssssooooo.... how were you?"
SC: "G-- hey!!"

I'm such a bastard.

My Prodigal Computer

*sniff!* It's back!! After 6 weeks of withdrawal, I finally have my computer back. Things work (except the sound, but I'll wait on that for now) and I can actually do things properly again.

It's a special, special time.