Vomitization!

It's been a bad week around the house.

After numerous.... 'bad spells' on my part on the 26th, I ended up sleeping for 20 hours' straight before staying conscious for 2 hours and then sleeping another 11 hours. I stayed up for a while after that only to discover my daughter had picked up my bad habit and was now head first into the toilet showing off the apple she'd eaten at Grandma's after dinner. My daughter made a regular (every 30 minutes) trip to the bathroom this morning from 1am until 4am. I was very, very tired by the she finished her wretched retching.

Thank goodness that was the end of the puking in the bathroom.... until my wife started at 8am.

From 8 'til Noon, she followed in my daughter's footsteps into the bathroom, onto the floor, and head in the toilet.

Actually, I tell a lie.

Actually, I'll get back to that.... As I was typing this, my son finally entered the competition. Talk about saving the best for last, my son's all about showmanship. Yep, it's been 8 hours since anyone else heaved whatever filled their stomachs, but my son does it with flair. He's too young to know any better, to be honest, but he also adds a level of spectacular to his throw-ups:
*At least one piece of furniture
*At least one electrical appliance
*Carpeted floor (we have 90% hardwood floors, yet somehow....)
*One deflection (usually off a wall onto another surface, like tiled floor that becomes dangerously slippery).
*At least one innocent bystander (usually me, tonight it was my wife).

OK, back to the lie.... no more throw-ups from my son in about 40 minutes.... *cringes*

Really, am I the only one who *knows* when I'm about to throw up? My stomach hurts, my body temperature begins to rise, I can taste salty bile in my mouth and I know it's time to head for the bathroom. And once I'm in the bathroom, I'm on my knees with my head in the toilet and whatever comes up.... goes down: in the toilet!!!

My daughter, she's 6, and although somewhat sadly experienced in vomiting has started to get the hang of it. Granted, one of the 5 times she threw up last night she hit the top of the toilet, her arm, and the floor, but she's gotten better! My wife, almost 40, still has difficulty, though. I mean, c'mon! Any adult should be able to hit the toilet and leave their lunch properly disposed of... but not my wife. Nope! She gets some on the seat, a little on the floor in front of the toilet and somehow leaves a few chunks on the bath rugs we have on the tiles. You know the ones: the ones every wife gets mad at her husband if he steps onto them with his wet feet? Yeah, those ones. Little chunks of her last meal, perfectly placed for me to step on.

Icky!

I can't wait 'til quarantine is done :(