My Worst Fear

This is the third week of Hell at work and it wasn't like this a year ago. I recall around this time in 2003 doing a "quiz" stating on a scale of 1 to 10 how much I liked my job --and I put 10. Now, it's tough to get a 1.

Everyone's stressed and acting stupid. I'm forgetting little things because of all the big things going on. An email from a co-worker on Friday started out with "Jesus Christ, man! I told you what you needed to do already." Okay, but I was just asking for clarification.

It's not just me either. A friend in the IT department is quitting in a few weeks because he's had enough of the stress. He was balled out by one of the nicest people I know. I've known her for at least 10 years now and not once have I ever heard her talk down to anyone --and suddenly, she's off on a rant. Wow.

My boss isn't helping me either. Everything --and I do mean everything-- over the past few weeks has been a "top priority" from him. Right now I have a list of 10 top priorities and if I get 9 done in a day, then he's hounding me about #10. And I've had more than enough, thank you.

I said I'm 100% ready for a move to my old department, but that could very well be 110% now.

And that's my worst fear.

I'm so looking forward to a move (and the sooner the better) that if it doesn't happen, I'm going to lose it. Only twice in my 7+ years there have I ever been depressed. I was thinking more along the lines, today, that I'm exhausted. Not physically, no. Emotionally, though. I can't watch sad shows right now because I start getting choked up (even Wizard of Oz got to me) --and don't you dare make me watch 'Cold Case' or that'll send me over the edge.

I'm a 31 year old (I admitted it) man and I feel like I could cry at any moment just yo get over this. It's kinda crazy.

Even Sex Caffeine stated she's worried about me. She saw me on Friday and waved and I never noticed her. At all. And today, I almost forgot her real name.

I really need some good news. And soon.