Brooding

People at work today could definitely tell I was having an "off day" today. While I tried my best not to be surly, the mood would get a little gloomier as the day went on. And to think this morning I was completely fine.

See, yesterday I made a mistake. I've always been a bit of an impulse buyer as it helps my mood. For the most part this week, it hasn't been bright and cheery. It's been quite the stress test and I've used every lunch hour to escape. And yesterday I spent $20 on some CDs. When I got home last night, my wife informed that she was having car troubles. Then she announced she'd decided to go ahead with some dental that isn't covered by my work plan. It's going to cost about $400 and who knows how much the car repairs will be. Needless to say, thinking about those high cost items, I forgot about the CDs in my bag.

This morning, my wife sent me a nasty email. She found the CDs in my bag and is mad at me for not telling her about them. She went on to say she has trust issues with me now and can' comprehend how I could spend money so carelessly. She wanted me to think about what I'd done and stew about it all day.

I relied immediately to her email, apologizing for not telling her about them. I was not defensive, even though... in my defense... I didn't think it was that big a deal.

I never got a reply. All day.

So, I was left to brood and, yes, stew for the entire day. The question is: What now? I've apologized and it was an impulsive thing. I seriously think, though, that I'm missing something if she has "trust issues" with me. And that's not a good thing to have me brooding about for a day.

It's not going to be a good night.

(from the train)

Ex

In Match, my solitary post was about an ex-girlfriend who suddenly reappeared in my life and announced she was a former prostitute-slash-heroin addict.

Crazy.

I have several ex-girlfriends listed as 'friends' on Facebook and on occasion, I find myself immersed in conversation with them. And, yeah, that's even crazier.

Last June, I met up with one whom I hadn't seen since we were teenagers. Her Mom never believed I'd turn up, so there were pictures taken... proof. I found out at the party that this girl had broken up with her steady boyfriend to go out with me. We went out once and it wasn't much fun....

Another ex in my friends list has married and divorced numerous times and started up a conversation we pretty much started at our high school reunion back in 2001. She's moved halfway across the country and back since then, and dumped 2 husbands along the way. And suddenly she's talking to me again and asking for relationship advice. And, as quickly as the conversation started, it ended. I have no idea what happened, but if she switches on and off as easily as this, I'm not surprised she's gone through so many marriages.

That was mean.

But as crazy as those two are, I have one ex-girlfriend on my friends list who really tops them all. She & I knew each other for years before we started a relationship. It was my first year of college and our first night together started out as a friendly game of Super Mario Brothers on my Super Nintendo.

A first night of passion by the light of King Koopa's castle.

She's now a madam at a bordello house and has some pictures online that have turned many a head when my friends have seen them. They're also more than a little jealous when I say "been there!"

There are numerous other exes on my friends list, but these are the ones that really stand out. All this tells me is that the women in my life.... throughout my life... have a certain twist to them that just makes life more interesting.

And always leaves me guessing.

Women

Between Facebook, the commuter train, and home, women are truly a focal point in my life. I'd originally written "women are truly becoming a focal point", but I know that's not true: They ARE a focal point.

Work doesn't count. I'm in a department of 80 people and there's 2 women. Of course, maybe that's why I'm going crazy right now. Girl crazy.

I mentioned in a previous post that there's a woman on the train who drives me nuts. I've called her 'Train Hottie' in earlier posts, but there's much much more to the story.*

At least 7 months ago, I was warned a high school field trip was getting on the train and sitting in the usual car where I would sit for the beginning of my annoying morning commute. I moved to the next car and it took a few seconds before I realized there was quite the attractive blond sitting in the next seating section. Over the months I've learned a few things about her. She sits with her Mom and some friends. She's married with 2 kids. Her name (but no mention of it here). Oh, and that she has back problems. I helped her up the stairs on the train one day as she'd just had surgery the day before... Always a gentleman... :) There was also a span of about 2 weeks where I was driving in more than I was taking the train, plus I was sick for a couple days and therefore not on the train for close to 15 days. When I walked up the stairs the next morning for the pleasurable commute, she was sitting in her usual spot, said good morning to me and followed it with "You're here again. All's right with the world." Very sweet. I paid her back this week when I commented on her haircut (it was a couple inches shorter, but still fairly long). None of her friends had noticed yet. Oh yeah, good job by me.

As the first to really catch my eye, she's now known as Train Hottie... #1.

Yeah, you can see where this is going (prepare for a long, long, LONG post!).

Train Hottie #2 has been mentioned in previous posts. She falls under the 'My God Hot' category. She's stunningly beautiful, always reading (occasionally wearing glasses, other times not), and has a smile that brightens up the day. I've seen the smile on rare occasions, which kind of makes them a special treat. I have one of those smiles to talk about, but that's for another time (but worth it --I suffer for it). I've been trying to figure out who she looks like and the closest I've seen is the actress Elizabeth Mitchell. Sadly, since I started the easier commute, #2 has only sat with me a few times, although twice in the last week. Yes, you can say I have a mad-on crush on her. One day I was very excited to see her on one of my downtown lunchtime excursions. One of my co-workers was with me and confirmed to the other guys in my office that I have good taste. Of course I do!

Train Hottie #3 totally reminds me of Kari Matchett (she's a TV actress who's been in several series over the past few years: 24, Heartland, Studio 60, ER). #3 usually sits beside me on both the commute in and on the way back. She's one of three I see on both trips. We barely ever talk, but when we do, she's very amiable. A great set of legs too. :)

Train Hottie #4 totally distracted me a few weeks before Christmas last year. She sits with a group of people a few sections down, but on busier days, they've squeezed in with me. She totally reminds me of my first girlfriend and when I discovered she shared the same name, I truly wondered if it could be her. (She isn't, though). The day I first saw her, she was showing off her new blouse to her friends. Now, most people would start out by saying they bought a new blouse and then ask if anyone wanted to see it (obviously, close to Christmas, it was cold and she was wearing a winter jacket). Nope, she whipped open her jacket and said "Whaddaya think of this?" And THEN followed up by saying she bought a new blouse... She wasn't asking me what I thought, obviously, but she did turn to me when she realized I was there and smiled, "Oh, your opinion counts too," she says. My only response (besides "uh-bahh?") was "that was distracting." She's not as attractive as the other hotties, but she makes up for it with her amazing sense of humor. Yes, she makes the trip go by faster.

All 4 Train Hotties above have similar characteristics. Blond hair, blue eyes. And while Train Hottie #5 also has the blond hair, she has extremely deep brown eyes that truly drive me crazy. I first saw her earlier this year and was completely stunned with her looks. I know next to nothing about her, as I've sat with her twice. Two other times, I've given up my seat for her with good reason. She's pregnant, and as I found out this week, she's about 6 months along. And to be honest, I think she's even better looking now than she was before. Oh yes, one of my coworkers congratulated me when I commented that TH#5 was pregnant. He told me he didn't realize women could have a baby simply by having a guy ogle them.

Jerk.

This post is longer than I thought and I haven't even hit (ahem, LOL) on the other women in my life right now. So, there's a sequel and I have a name for that post already. Stay tuned tomorrow!

*I was also mistaken when I said she was the 3rd woman who'd caught my eye. If that's true, I honestly can't remember who #2 is!

Vanishing

Apparently my idea to post on here via my new "smart" phone isn't very successful.

I had a great post I wrote today in about 45 minutes.

Nope, nowhere to be seen, I'm afraid. Despite Blogger's "ability" to save drafts automatically, there's no draft saved. No is there a post published after I clicked on 'Publish Post.'

Twice.

I'll try and write something more... soon.

(not from the train *sigh*).

Balance

When I started the new job, I knew the biggest risk was the temporary status in the contract. Essentially, I was guaranteed work for 6 months, with a good chance of the contract being extended. It was extended on day 1, actually. It turned out they needed me for 7 months.

My contract expires the end of August and in some ways, I was looking forward to the end. Oh, it's a great job, but I am tired... a lot.

And now my contract is getting another extension, 99.9% guaranteed. There's a slight chance it'll end early, but if it doesn't end early, then I'm most likely on for the long haul. Or Spring of 2009, whatever. I already have a contingency plan in place, in case the job ends unexpectedly, but it'd be nice to keep it as a contingency only.

At the same time, my wife has been offered a job that really answers a lot of the gaping holes in our life right now. The timing was perfect. So, naturally, she turned it down.

Muh?

My wife has decided she doesn't want to work much anymore and after years of scraping by, we're going to continue down that road for a while longer. I am not, however, upset about it. She's worked hard for a number of years, doing more than her share of the financial contributions. So, it's my turn for a while... or forever. Unless there's lottery winnings in my future.

So, the balance remains. We'll be no further ahead, financially, but maybe our relationship will improve... that's a good balance.

(from the train.)

Point

My faith in humanity is dwindling to nothing very, very quickly.

I have to drive into work twice a week at the moment and the commute is, once again, really getting to me.

In MY opinion, I'm an above-average driver. I'm not a great driver, by any means. I'm also not a horrible driver. I speed, yes, but you're not about to see me run red lights or stop signs and speeding in playgrounds and school zones will never NEVER happen. But comparing me to other drivers out there these days.... my God...

To my American readers, these numbers are kilometers, so please don't think it's miles. Do the math if you really want to know, but understand some of these speeds are f-a-s-t fast!

I have 2 bridges to cross on my commute in. It's usually the faster route and even in Springtime, the slower route can get a little frosty in the heavily wooded, turns and add in some fog and they're not the type of road I want to be driving on before sunrise with people doing 40-50 over the speed limit of 80.

So, the freeway is my way right now.

Leading up to the first bridge is a tight, round onramp with a maximum speed of 60. The bridge itself is 80. Most people on the bridge these days travel around 110 or 120, some go even faster. On the onramp, the fastest I've seen people go on the max. 60 onramp is about 120. Until this morning, that is. This morning, I was keeping up with traffic (doing 90) when a girl passed me. I figure by the speed she passed me, she was doing 140 to 150. So, close to 3 times the legal speed limit.

Once I got on the highway (max. 100), I kept up with the morning traffic as we sped along at 110. As we approached one hill, a semi was in the fast lane and they slow down big-time when they hit this particular hill. So, we were fortunate that he pulled into the outside lane as we started up the hill. Too bad for Dude in the SUV, who thought he could pass everyone in that lane. Even worse for Dude was the fact that his lane was slowing down and the fast lane was now speeding up again and he'd have to wait for a chance to get back in.

He decided not to wait, though.

Within a couple seconds, I nearly had a hood full of black SUV as he forced me off the road. If it wasn't for the wide shoulder in that particular spot, I would've gone into the grass and down an embankment, most likely rolling my car. This particular area shows numerous "scars" along the edge of the road where cars, trucks, and semis have been pushed off by aggressive drivers. And here I was, a couple feet from the same fate. Fortunately, I hit the brakes and stayed on the pavement. As I looked up, leaning on the horn (usually a universal sign of "pay attention to me!"), I saw another universal sign: his middle finger waving at me.

Within moments I was doing 140 to catch up to him and get the licence plate number to contact the police. And, as I dialed 911, he slammed on the brakes and I nearly slammed into him before I once again saw his middle finger and he sped off.

But I had his plate number, and we were headed straight into the jurisdiction of one of my friends in the RCMP. A quick call to the RCMP had a cruiser waiting about 10 minutes' drive further down. If they didn't get him for reckless driving, he did them one better by blasting by the cruiser doing over 150 (which is the speed I was at trying to catch up to him). I'm sure he was angry because he would've lost at least 10 seconds by having to wait to get into the fast lane legally...

But these 2 crazy drivers was not the end of the day's driving adventures. In the last block before my office building, as I walked down from my parking spot, a van pulled into the intersection a stopped. He was dropping his 20-something daughter off, I'm assuming to go to the ESL school in the neighboring building. As he she got out of the van, she walked across the street towards the school...

Right into heavy traffic. How this girl did not die and how no one smacked their car in the sudden screeching of brakes and turning of wheels is unbelievable. And she never looked up to even acknowledge that she might've done something wrong. She just continued across the busy street.

So, my faith in humanity is dropping quickly. In 34 years, it's gone from the 100% everyone starts with, down to a point or two.... like 0.2%

Not more than that.