My Shadow

I have a co-worker who I refer to as a friend, but it's a strained relationship. It's strained for numerous reasons and listing them out makes me question why I even talk to the freakin' guy!

1. He's my shadow.
If I'm heading downtown for lunch, it's 99.9% likely he'll want to tag along. I don't mind on occasion, but when it started happening everyday... ugh. If nothing else, it's been a good motivator to go to the gym as he avoids it like the plague. I do, however, still like going downtown, so I either have him hang out with me or sneak away while he's talking to someone at their desk. No, I haven't told him to stop following me around simply because he'll get all whiny. Really don't want that.

2. He's got to be mentally... slow
How to back this up.... One day he was telling me about his brother emailing him something about that Muslims are Satanic and listing out some idiotic proof --sorry, "proof" (good luck that, Skippy) of their worship of the big red horny guy. This guy was offended (rightly so) and replied to his brother to tell him off (good for you!) for his 'ignorism' (yeah! Wait, what?). 'Ignorism.' Look it up.