Dreams

Last week, I had a horrible time sleeping. Going to bed wasn't an issue. Neither was falling asleep. I was pretty damned tired after a busy week of work the week prior.

The problem was, my dreams kept waking me up. In fact, over three nights I had the same *sort* of dream repeatedly:

I'd be doing... something, and suddenly someone would be standing beside me and telling me to stop what I was doing. As soon as I stopped, like a magician with a heavy cloak, the strange person would pull out 3 objects and tell me to interpret them.

I only remember one dream vividly enough. Same thing again and when I was handed the objects, there was a container of kitty litter, a shovel, and a flute. "Interpret."

And then I'm awake. Again.

For 3 nights this went on. And it wasn't just once a night, it was more like 5 or 6 times every night. Finally, exactly one week ago tonight, the dreams stopped.

To be replaced by this one:

The woman on the train who constantly... daily... drives me crazy with the way she looks (and reads... it's so cute), and acts, is alone with me in a train station. She's looking at me and I'm looking at her. And she's biting her lip just like she does when she's reading the morning paper. And I finally, finally have enough nerve to talk to her. Months of sitting not 2 feet from her's done nothing, but now I'm suddenly compelled to talk. The time is right and we're all alone.

I walk over and she looks up at me (she's shorter than me). She says nothing but brushes her blonde hair away from her glasses (she doesn't wear them all the time, but she is today). I open my mouth and everything falls out at once. I tell her that I've got a big-time crush on her. I tell her I love watching the crinkle in her lips when she reads and the looks she gives annoying people on the train when they get in her way. And I tell her every time she smiles at me it's like the rain's have stopped falling and there's only a warm sunrise left to enjoy. I tell her I'd give anything to get to know her. Her dreams, her aspirations, the things she's alwyas wanted in life. And I tell her that if there's any justice in the world, there's someone loving her and telling her just how beautiful she is. And I tell her that, if there's nothing else important in the world, the most important thing for me to know, right now, is her name. If the looks, the smiles, the laughs she's done in front of me mean anything, the least I could get from her now is her name.

And then she crinkles her nose. She leans over to me and get close to my face. Her icy blue eyes look me over and I can smell the citrusy-smell of her perfume. She's as close as she can be without touching me and opens her mouth to speak. And she says to me "That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. This isn't Hollywood. There's no happy ending." And off she walks as the train arrives.

And then I wake up.... the very next day, I heard this song and it brought the whole dream back to me. And as miserable as it made me when I woke up at 3 in the morning, I still have a skip in my step when I walk to work every morning. Especially those mornings with the sunshiney smile....

Misery loves the cruel way that you speak to yourself
And I love the cool way you look at me
And we've got a lot of time to get this right
At least that's how I hope it's gonna be

When you go looking for a little light real late at night
And you don't like the things you see
I'll be right here waiting in the dark for your knock
Oh, I want you here with me
I want you here with me

I hold you close and whisper in your ear
"There's nothing to fear"
I know the things you want to be
I don't know if they will ever come for anyone
Oh, I want you here with me
I want you here with me